update from sparkleup

writing/workshop-packet/essay.html

@@ -57,7 +57,8 @@
 <p>The second day was spent discussing what exactly goes on in a writing workshop including various methods that they might see and how that can play into furry, which led into critiquing one of my pieces, <a href="https://makyo.ink/jump">&ldquo;Jump&rdquo;</a>, with the idea being that we would be able to workshop a piece with the author present, yet not put the pressure on any of the attendees.</p>
 <p>The last day involved workshopping the pieces that the attendees offered and then having a discussion about writing with an eye towards receiving critique and how to engage with critical readers in a workshop setting.</p>
 <p>Once again, the workshop was largely a success. The attendees were invested and committed to learning and participating in the process. When it came to reading the provided story, all provided a good sense of understanding of the work as well as providing insightful answers to guiding questions (&ldquo;what aspects of this story are furry, and how effective are they to you?&rdquo; &mdash; &ldquo;what was your favorite image and why?&rdquo; &mdash; &ldquo;what aspects of the main character did you wish you had more of?&rdquo; &mdash; and so on). On the second day, the discussion about what goes into some fairly standard formats of workshops led to a delightful conversation over &ldquo;Jump&rdquo;, including insights into the piece that hadn&rsquo;t arisen when the piece was workshopped for the first time back in 2021. On the third day, with <a href="https://makyo.ink/workshops/fcww/23/submissions/">two pieces to read through</a>, the authors responded well to the conversation and a sense of camaraderie  was clear among the attendees.</p>
-<p>With both of these workshops, there were a few commonalities in terms of what worked and what didn&rsquo;t. In</p>
+<p>With both of these workshops, there were a few commonalities in terms of what worked and what didn&rsquo;t. In both cases, the attendees all reported a sense of joy at having their writing approached seriously and earnestly. &ldquo;I got to experience a style of critique and writing teamwork that I&rsquo;ve never experienced before,&rdquo; one wrote. &ldquo;I loved how the structure meant that everyone was on the same level, and we were all accountable for our own input but it wasn&rsquo;t onerous.&rdquo; This sentiment was echoed by other attendees. Others mentioned that this level playing field made for an experience that felt like a group of people helping each other out rather than a classroom setting.</p>
+<p>In terms of what didn&rsquo;t work, both workshops involved instances where I wasn&rsquo;t able to communicate what it was that I was looking for effectively. In the case of Oxfurred Comma, the initial Friday session was canceled due to time zones and a miscommunication with the conference itself. As a result the attendees felt left in the dark as to what exactly &lsquo;critique&rsquo; meant, with one stating, &ldquo;It would have been helpful to have a better introduction. I didn&rsquo;t know what kind of analysis was required and as a result, I ended up having to redo my analysis twice on all three stories.&rdquo; In lieu of the session, I provided a short video providing an example of critiquing the first story, which very much helped, but the situation was still less than ideal. For Further Confusion, on the Friday session I began a discussion about &ldquo;Bibelots and Baubles&rdquo;, and rather than it being an open discussion in the room, attendees simply turned to their neighbor and began talking through the piece, with an attendee sitting at the back of the room for social distancing left out entirely. While I quickly steered that conversation to be the whole group talking to each other loud enough for all to hear, one person speaking at a time, I still made note that I hadn&rsquo;t provided a clear explanation going into the process.</p>
 <p>((What worked, what didn&rsquo;t))
 ((Lessons learned))
 ((Moving forward))</p>