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Madison Rye Progress 2024-10-28 22:06:30 -07:00
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writing/post-self/what-right-have-I/001.html
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<p>On systime 28, 2152 common era, 5912 of the Hebrew calendar, I became me, and I had the chance to grow into what I would eventually become.</p>
<p>And that is, apparently, a fidgety, anxious mess who is doing her best not to scuttle off the stage and go hide under her desk in her office on a glorified dog bed. I am beyond strange, now, and beyond old. I am 316 years old, now, though I have only lived a bit less 315 of those. That is why we are here, yes? That is why I am standing on a stage, ancient and anxious and weird, yes?</p>
<p>I am wandering.</p>
<!-- Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam, hagomel lahayavim tovot, sheg'molani kol tov. -->
<p>&ldquo;–know that the Century Attack was a deliberate effort, it is easy for us to reach to parallels in the past.&rdquo; Rav From Whence is saying. &ldquo;Death on such a scale is hard to imagine, as is loss of such magnitude, but we must remember that, until one year ago today, never before had such recovery of life been accomplished. We mourn our 23 billion dead, we celebrate the 2.3 trillion who are still alive. What Right Have I?&rdquo;</p>
<p>I tug my tunic straight and step forward to stand beside Rav From Whence. Then tug my tunic straight again, scrub my paws down over my sides, and tug my tunic straight once more.</p>
<p>It is worth mentioning that it is not the crowds that make me nervous. Yes, I have certainly never spoken to an audience of <em>thousands</em> before, just as I have never had my words broadcast over AVEC so that those back phys-side can watch, can hear my stammering voice, but I do not feel fear of audiences, of public speaking.</p>
<p>Instead, I feel fear of myself, of so many intrusive thoughts.</p>
<p><em>&ldquo;Baruch ata Adonai Eloheinu, melekh ha&rsquo;olam, hagomel lahayavim tovot, sheg&rsquo;molani kol tov,&rdquo;</em> I call out.</p>
<p>The response comes from only a quarter of the assembled — a mumbled, <em>&ldquo;Amen. Mi sheg&rsquo;malcha kol tov, hu yigmolchem kol tov selah,&rdquo;</em> that I cannot help but sound out in my head in time — but it is enough to show that I am not speaking solely to politicians and bureaucrats (or whatever passes for such, sys-side)</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2024-10-28</p>