update from sparkleup
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<p>“If you’re looking for the utmost in luxury, then it’s really hard to go wrong with 2399. The ride was just about as smooth as could be.”</p>
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<p>“How about comfort?”</p>
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<p>“Oh, very comfortable. Cushy, even,” I said, poking her gently in the belly.</p>
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<p>Hanne laughed. “Cute. How about the exterior?”</p>
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<p>“No clue. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve had any reason to pay attention to the world outside. I imagine it looks just as confusing as it anyways has.”</p>
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<p>Hanne laughed, covering her stomach with her hand. “Cute. How about the exterior?”</p>
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<p>“No clue. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve had any reason to pay attention to the world outside. I imagine it looks just as confusing as it always has.”</p>
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<p>“Well, okay, fair enough. You’ve been here longer than I have.”</p>
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<p>“I keep forgetting you’re younger than me.”</p>
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<p>She nodded. “Robbing the cradle, you are.”</p>
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@ -45,11 +45,11 @@
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<p>“What was it like when you uploaded?”</p>
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<p>“You mean phys-side?”</p>
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<p>Hanne nodded. “What was Earth like? What was your life like?”</p>
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<p>I shrugged. “Fine, I guess. The Western Fed was swinging conservative again, it was hot as hell all the time, most places were starting to subsidize uploading despite an already declining population. I guess that makes it sound terrible, and maybe it would have gotten worse, but I wasn’t around to see it. We were doing alright, so maybe I was kind of sheltered.”</p>
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<p>I shrugged. “Fine, I guess. The Western Fed was swinging conservative again, it was hot as hell all the time, some places were arguing about upload subsidies leading to a rising birthratesome. I guess that makes it sound terrible, and maybe it would have gotten worse, but I wasn’t around to see it. We were doing alright, so maybe I was kind of sheltered.”</p>
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<p>“I hear you on the hot as hell part. We couldn’t afford moving south when it got too bad, so we moved up into the mountains. It helped a little bit, at least.”</p>
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<p>“When was that?”</p>
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<p>“2320 something. I don’t remember. I think I was under ten, at least.”</p>
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<p>I nodded. “I guess that’s what I mean by sheltered. We were already up in Newfoundland. Summers sucked, winters sucked, but it was alright between them. It was worse when we lived in New York.”</p>
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<p>I nodded. “I guess that’s what I mean by sheltered. We were already up in Newfoundland. Summers sucked, winters sucked, but it was alright between them. It was worse when I lived in New York.”</p>
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<p>“Autumn or spring?”</p>
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<p>“Huh?”</p>
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<p>“Pick one, dummy,” she said, laughing.</p>
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@ -65,7 +65,7 @@
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<p>“Why?”</p>
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<p>I laughed. “So many questions tonight.”</p>
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<p>She grinned, shrugged.</p>
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<p>“Well, I think half of it was that there was just too much pressure at the time. Like I said, the WF was swinging conservative, so there was this push to assimilate, and we internalized that pretty hard. We felt pushed to just shut up and be a man, just disappear, and always felt that we fell short despite all we did to try, but on Lagrange, we could do that right off the bat.”</p>
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<p>“Well, I think half of it was that there was just too much pressure at the time. Like I said, the WF was swinging conservative, so there was this push to assimilate, and we internalized that pretty hard. We felt pushed to just shut up and be a man, just disappear — that or become a woman, have kids, let the first upload for the payout — and always felt that we fell short despite all we did to try, but on Lagrange, we could do that right off the bat.”</p>
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<p>“So they went back to being trans–“</p>
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<p>I shook my head, cutting her off. “They’ve given up on gender. I became the way they experienced that again.”</p>
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<p>“Sorry, Reed.”</p>
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@ -73,7 +73,7 @@
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<p>The shadow of her shoulders relaxed again in the dark of the night. “Even after so long?”</p>
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<p>“Yeah. Like I said, we internalized it pretty hard, even as they tried to diversify later on. I headed back trans, Lily headed back feminine, and Cress embodies the negation.”</p>
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<p>“Is that why you forked, too?”</p>
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<p>I grinned. “I forked for fun. Even if it’s still a tender spot, I think I’m still way more relaxed than they are. There may be a bit of that in Tule, I guess. He’s still pretty happy being a guy — he’s the only one out of all of us, come to think of it. Rush is as ve is of vis own choice, though.”</p>
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<p>I grinned. “I forked for fun. Even if it’s still a tender spot, I think I’m still way more relaxed than Marsh is, though it’s been a while since we talked. There may be a bit of that in Tule, I guess. He’s still pretty happy being a guy — he’s the only one out of all of us, come to think of it. Rush is as ve is of vis own choice, though.”</p>
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<p>Hanne looped her arm through mine. “Well, I still like you as you are.”</p>
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<p>“What, trans?”</p>
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<p>“No, a huge nerd.”</p>
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@ -90,9 +90,10 @@
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<p>“Well, I’m glad you went the Ansible, then.”</p>
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<p>“Sap.”</p>
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<p>I laughed. “Got it in one.”</p>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2024-04-12</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2024-04-13</p>
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<p>She laughed.</p>
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<p>“They have a full and fulfilling life, is what I’m saying. They’re happy, it’s just that their happiness doesn’t include communication with their up-tree instances.”</p>
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<p>“Why not?”</p>
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<p>I yawned, slouched down further on the couch along with Hanne. “They very specifically want us to live our own lives. They don’t want us to just be other versions of them. They can make all of those they want for their little tasks. They specifically want us to be something other than what they are so that they can experience that on their own terms.”</p>
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<p>I yawned, slouched down further on the couch along with her. “They very specifically want us to live our own lives. They don’t want us to just be other versions of them. They can make all of those they want for their little tasks. They specifically want us to be something other than what they are so that they can experience that on their own terms.”</p>
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<p>“Don’t see how that’s any different,” she mumbled. Sleep threatened, even with some time left before midnight. “You all merging down like that is just doing the same thing in reverse, You’re making them a version of you all, even if you’re not just a version of them.”</p>
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<p>I turned that thought over in my head, held it at arms length, let the light of the fire shine through the fog of champagne and brandy onto it to admire just how strangely it was shaped. “Well, huh.”</p>
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<p>“See? You’re so weird.”</p>
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<p>“I guess we are,” I said, smiling and nudging Hanne upright once more. “No dozing off, now. Not yet.”</p>
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<p>She grumbled and rubbed at her face. “Sorry if that came off as rude. I guess it’s just outside my understanding.”</p>
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<p>I scooted up onto the couch, myself, sitting cross-legged to face her. “It’s okay. It’s not wrong, even, I just don’t think it’s wholly right, either. It’s a matter of intent. Our intent is to live our own lives to the fullest, and it’s their intent to let us do so and yet still be able to experience that at one layer of remove. We’ve been doing it for a century, and it’s worked out well enough since then. If all this–” I waved around the room, feeling the gentle spin of drunkenness follow the movement, “–is just a dream, if we’re all doing our best to dream in unison with each other, then I think intent may be all that we have, right? However may billion or trillion people have uploaded are all trying to dream the same dream together, all mixed up and poured into the same System, we have to form what meanings we may on our own.”</p>
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<p>“I think we broke two trillion instances a while back. I don’t know how may uploads, but I don’t think it’s hit a trillion yet.”</p>
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<p>“I think we broke two trillion instances a while back. I don’t know how may uploads, but I don’t think it’s hit a trillion yet. Probably only forty billion or so.”</p>
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<p>“Right. Sorry, guess I’m kinda rambly when I’m drunk.”</p>
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<p>Leaning forward, she gave me a light kiss. “It’s okay, I like it when you ramble. Just don’t lose track of the time.”</p>
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<p>23:46.</p>
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<p>I started to nod, then stiffened as I felt first one, then another set of memories crash down onto me. “<em>Fuck.</em> One of these…days I’ll convince…them to give me some warning…sec…”</p>
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<p>Hanne laughed and shook her head, standing from the couch to go get herself a glass of water. </p>
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<p>With a rush of intent, I forked, bringing into being beside me a new instance of myself. Exactly the same. <em>Precisely</em>. Had such a thing any meaning to an upload, we would be the same down to the atomic level, to the subatomic. All of the memories, all of the personality, all of the history.</p>
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<p>For a fraction of a second, at least. From that point on, we began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch heard Hanne in the kitchen from <em>this</em> angle, yet the one that stood beside the couch heard her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on his cheek, the one standing felt it on his back.I forked — a new instance of me without these demanding memories, one who would not have the shared memories of my up-tree cocladists — and watched him wander off to the bedroom to presumably stay out of the way while I processed.</p>
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<p>For a fraction of a second, at least. From that point on, we began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch heard Hanne in the kitchen from <em>this</em> angle, yet the one that stood beside the couch heard her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on his cheek, the one standing felt it on his back. I watched this other Reed — a new instance of me without these demanding memories, one who would not have the shared memories of my up-tree cocladists — wander off to the bedroom to presumably stay out of the way while I processed.</p>
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<p>I closed my eyes to turn down one of my senses, setting the sweet-smelling glass of brandy aside to rid myself of another as best I could. I sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had merged down first; ve had split off a new copy of verself, and then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories ve’d formed over the last year fell down onto me, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of my tongue: all I needed to do is actually remember. Clearly, Tule had already forked and merged back down into Sedge, as their combined memories piled yet more weight on me. Three sets of memories — two from my direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance — rested on my mind, ready for integration.</p>
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<p>There’d be time for Marsh to do their full perusal and remembering later. It was rapidly approaching midnight, and I needed to get the memories sorted into my own, interleaved and zippered together into as cohesive a whole as best I could manage, all conflicts addressed — though with as separate as their lives had been until then, there was thankfully quite little in the way of conflicting memories — so that, shortly before midnight, I could quit and let all those memories — those of Rush, Sedge, Tule, and myself — fall to Marsh to process, savor, and treasure for themself, while that new copy of me, off making the bed or simply taking some quiet, lived out the next year with Hanne, with all their joys and sorrows. </p>
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<p>After so many New Years Eves, this had all become routine. Some years, I kept the memories, some not. It had been a nearly a decade since I’d bothered, and there didn’t seem to be any reason to do different this year.</p>
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<hr />
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2024-03-25</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2024-04-13</p>
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