From 86099e3abe43aa3793723c5f52d7d6cba2f224ce Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Madison Scott-Clary Date: Tue, 25 Oct 2022 23:15:12 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] update from sparkleup --- writing/post-self/selected-letters/012.html | 20 ++++++++++++++++--- writing/post-self/selected-letters/index.html | 6 +++--- 2 files changed, 20 insertions(+), 6 deletions(-) diff --git a/writing/post-self/selected-letters/012.html b/writing/post-self/selected-letters/012.html index c557ab514..aac07e8a5 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/selected-letters/012.html +++ b/writing/post-self/selected-letters/012.html @@ -35,9 +35,23 @@

Congratulations are due to Aurel, yes, but I am in absolutely no way surprised.

So what is it about them? Why the Odists? How come we keep winding up in relationships with them? Is it some core aspect to them? Would we have gotten on so well with Michelle, had she been singular enough and in our lives at the right moment? Or is it just those with the right “perpetual hyperfixation” as you so eloquently put it who fall into our lives?

You and perhaps Codrin#Pollux are uniquely positioned to answer this litany of questions. Do you have any insight into what it is that has led us to this state?

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I’ll be honest that I’m not sure what I’ll get out of your answer. I don’t know if it’ll feel good to read (I can tell you that it took several sessions to actually write this letter), but I guess I’m hoping that it’ll offer some sense of closure. If I– no, when I feel comfortable getting in touch with Codrin again, I will likely ask em, too, as perhaps █████ will have some insight. I will, just…not yet.

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There is one more thing that I’m a little hesitant to ask about, because I’m not quite sure what direction your thoughts are heading in. I’ve noticed that you’ve been talking about Rareș quite a bit more over the last year. What was it that brought him to mind?

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I still think about him, you know. I think about how when he got frustrated, he’d smile, but with his brows knit. It was such a uniquely him expression. I think about our parents’ funeral and how, even at 10, he seemed to understand on a deep level — deeper than us — the finality of death. I think about the confusion and hurt on his face when we announced we were going to upload.

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I’ll be honest that I’m not sure what I’ll get out of your answer. I don’t know if it’ll feel good to read,1 but I guess I’m hoping that it’ll offer some sense of closure. If I– no, when I feel comfortable getting in touch with Codrin again, I will likely ask em, too, as perhaps █████ will have some insight. I will, just…not yet.

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There is one more thing that I’m a little hesitant to ask about, because I’m not quite sure what direction your thoughts are heading in. The chance that me bringing this up is only going to hurt you is real, given the tenor of your letters, and for that I apologize.

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I’ve noticed that you’ve been talking about Rareș quite a bit more over the last year. What was it that brought him to mind?

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I still think about him, you know. I think about how when he got frustrated, he’d smile, but with his brows knit. It was such a uniquely him expression. I think about our parents’ funeral and how, even at 10, he seemed to understand on a deep level — deeper than us — the finality of death. I think about the confusion and hurt on his face when we announced we were going to upload. It’s not that he didn’t love aunt Rahela, or that she didn’t love us, but we were so much more a parent to him than she ever was.

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I still think about him and hope that we did the right thing. I think we did. I think you did.

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Have you found him? Have you looked? You do not need to. You have my permission not to if that’s not what you need.

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I love you. Pass on my love to May Then My Name as well.

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Sorina
+22 anses-ularaeäl, 4779 Artemis Reckoning

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    I can tell you that it took several sessions to actually write this letter. There were a lot of breaks to take walks or sit and stare out the window like some awful painting titled Sehnsucht or something. I’m putting a light face on it now, but really, I’ve been such a mope, it’s almost a parody. ↩

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