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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2021-08-02 16:25:13 -07:00
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<article class="content">
<p>Often times, when I work with a therapist (from either direction), we converse quite freely and with essentially no friction. I do not know whether that&rsquo;s a thing that therapist-clients engender, necessarily. I&rsquo;ve had my fair share of clients who were incredibly easy to talk with. Not that they&rsquo;re likeable, or at least not only because of that, but that our sessions &mdash; me and those clients, and me and my therapists &mdash; tend to move forward with a sense of purpose.</p>
<p>In my clients&rsquo; case, these ones in particular are there <em>for a purpose</em>. To get better, to understand their trauma, to do the work. Not just take a pill<sup id="fnref:prescribing"><a class="footnote-ref" href="#fn:prescribing">1</a></sup> or do the meditation and be cured of depression, but to really understand it, unravel it, and wind it back up into something neater than before.</p>
<p>In my clients&rsquo; case, these ones in particular are there <em>for a purpose</em>. To get better, to understand their trauma, to do the work. Not just take a pill<sup id="fnref:prescribing"><a class="footnote-ref" href="#fn:prescribing">1</a></sup> or do the meditation and be cured of depression, but to really understand it, unravel it, and wind it back up into something new, something neater than before.</p>
<p>In my case, I am here to do the job of improving myself and Jeremy is here to do his job of guiding me along that path.</p>
<p>My path of improvement, as I suspect must be the case with many of my colleagues, is to cope better with the process of taking on others emotions. A good therapist has to have empathy, after all, and I do try to be a good therapist. We don&rsquo;t simply let emotions slide off of us in order to be some impartial observer, we have to feel a little bit of what our clients are feeling as well in order to truly work with them.</p>
<p>So it is that most often, I work through processing the residual trauma of the past two weeks&rsquo; clientele with Jeremy. Sometimes we&rsquo;ll get onto something that goes a bit deeper, digs further into the past, though perhaps less often than he would like.</p>
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<p>&ldquo;Not really, no.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;How come?&rdquo;</p>
<p>There was a silence as I sifted through my thoughts. Despite their intensity, they were difficult to pin down, as though too much lens flare obscured the exact source. &ldquo;I find myself thinking often that I don&rsquo;t want to say anything to her because I don&rsquo;t want her to feel pressured to reciprocate.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;That&rsquo;s her decision, though. Has she had a problem setting boundaries before? With you or in general.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;That&rsquo;s her decision, though, you can&rsquo;t take that away from her. Has she had a problem setting boundaries before? With you or in general, I mean.&rdquo;</p>
<p>I laughed. &ldquo;No, not at all.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Jeremy grinned, but kept on pushing. &ldquo;Then is that wholly true?&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m not sure. I just don&rsquo;t want her to feel obligated to feel the same way about me that I feel about her.&rdquo;</p>