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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2021-05-26 17:10:09 -07:00
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writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/71.html
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<p>All this to say that I am starting to come to the conclusion that limerence is the egodystonic form of attraction.</p>
<p>I suspect there must be some similarity to addiction here; the overwhelming pungency of limerence is not pleasant. It is a thing that must be maintained, just as a high-functioning addiction must be maintained. One must have that drink at the end of the day. It feels bad to drink it, it feels bad after, it feels bad to <em>need</em> it in order to maintain a functional life.</p>
<p>Similarly, this crush, if that&rsquo;s all it is anymore, requires of me a constant level of maintenance. I have to feed it fantasies, have to pour into it energy. I have to dream, both at night and during the day. I have to imagine the feeling of our fingers intertwining.</p>
<p>It is a negative part of my life in both its concrete and emotional effects. It feels perilously close to sin.</p>
<p>It is a negative part of my life in both its concrete and emotional effects. It feels perilously close to sin. I think that&rsquo;s why I sought out confession.</p>
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