D> No no, I mean
D> Well, it is, but that’s not quite where I was going, hah.
K> Sorry. I’ll let you type.
-D> I don’t really know what I wanted out of this conversation, to be honest. Feelings like this aren’t logical, you know? So I think I just wanted to say that because I don’t know what to do with all of them. They just boil up within me and I just sit there and feel weird and bad but also kind of good at the same time.
+D> I don’t really know what I wanted out of this conversation, to be honest. I wasn’t even intending for it to be a conversation, at least right off the bat. I had a whole email written up that I was going to send you, to be perfectly nerdy about it.
+D> Feelings like this aren’t logical, you know? So I think I just wanted to say that because I don’t know what to do with all of them. They just boil up within me and I just sit there and feel weird and bad but also kind of good at the same time. I just started falling for you, and kept it to myself because it felt like such an imposition to admit that to you.
D> And I should add
-D> The goal wasn’t to try and rope you into something you don’t want to do, and I don’t want to make it sound like I am trying to do so now.
+D> The goal is specifically not to do that. It wasn’t to try and rope you into something you don’t want to do, and I don’t want to make it sound like I am trying to do so now.
D> Guilt you into it or whatever.
-D> But I guess I wanted to talk about it and get it off my chest.
+D> But I did want to talk about it and get it off my chest.
D> And I guess that’s it.
K> Alright.
K> I mean, I don’t think you could guilt the wings off a fly, Dee.
@@ -62,10 +63,11 @@D> Hah.
D> Sorry, that came out weird?
D> Seriously, though, I really don’t know. This whole thing, this whole crush or whatever it is, I don’t know what the end goal of it is. It’s limerence, it’s something that’s happening to me, and I don’t know what to do about it. It’s this enormous feeling and you’re the limerent object, and I hate that my brain is doing it.
+D> And at the same time, I really do like you, and
All of my work on emotional literacy is failing me now. It was largely failing me then, as well. I am doing my best to recount the conversation that we had here, but I am in a state of, I suppose, numbness, and that numbness is taking up the same amount of space that the limerence did before. It is overwhelming in its nullity, and there is nothing, it seems, that I can do to shake it. I cannot transmute it into something more positive. I cannot release any of the built up pressure, for there is no catharsis for nothingness.