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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2021-10-17 20:40:17 -07:00
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writing/post-self/toledot/index.html
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<li class="done4"> <a href="secession/phys/Yared/010.html">Secession: phys-side: Yared</a> - Vote passes with both secession and L5 amendments intact, those who know him are torn on whether he&rsquo;s a hero or villain; zero compensation/recognition from Demma, who derides the system, why don&rsquo;t you marry it if you love it so much. (secession = irreversibility) - 2192</li> <li class="done4"> <a href="secession/phys/Yared/010.html">Secession: phys-side: Yared</a> - Vote passes with both secession and L5 amendments intact, those who know him are torn on whether he&rsquo;s a hero or villain; zero compensation/recognition from Demma, who derides the system, why don&rsquo;t you marry it if you love it so much. (secession = irreversibility) - 2192</li>
<li class="done4"> <a href="launch/launch/Codrin-castor/008.html">Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Castor</a> - Interviews True Name for the last time, learning that True Name/her stanza and Jonas orchestrated the launch from the before the supposed beginning over long years of influence (incl nudging Douglas as soon as he got first job as ansible tech and Michelle nudging her toward the idea of divesting), have been in contact across sys/launch to ensure divergence remains at acceptable levels (irreversible), comes home to Dear, sighs, gets hugs, comfort that the ends aren&rsquo;t bad, even if the means are. - 2183</li> <li class="done4"> <a href="launch/launch/Codrin-castor/008.html">Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Castor</a> - Interviews True Name for the last time, learning that True Name/her stanza and Jonas orchestrated the launch from the before the supposed beginning over long years of influence (incl nudging Douglas as soon as he got first job as ansible tech and Michelle nudging her toward the idea of divesting), have been in contact across sys/launch to ensure divergence remains at acceptable levels (irreversible), comes home to Dear, sighs, gets hugs, comfort that the ends aren&rsquo;t bad, even if the means are. - 2183</li>
<li class="done4"> <a href="secession/sys/True-Name/008.html">Secession: sys-side: True Name</a> - Council meets, celebrates; after, meets with Jonas to discuss ways to ensure stability going forward (growth = irreversibility) - 1466 Expand?</li> <li class="done4"> <a href="secession/sys/True-Name/008.html">Secession: sys-side: True Name</a> - Council meets, celebrates; after, meets with Jonas to discuss ways to ensure stability going forward (growth = irreversibility) - 1466 Expand?</li>
<li class="done3"> <a href="launch/sys/Ioan/011.html">Launch: sys-side: Ioan</a> - Ioan interviews True Name, finds out they&rsquo;re still everywhere, steering system, difference between conservatives/liberals is scale of manipulation, liberals think too small (see quote below) - 1975</li> <li class="done4"> <a href="launch/sys/Ioan/011.html">Launch: sys-side: Ioan</a> - Ioan interviews True Name, finds out they&rsquo;re still everywhere, steering system, difference between conservatives/liberals is scale of manipulation, liberals think too small (see quote below) - 1975</li>
<li class="done3"> <a href="secession/sys/Michelle/004.html">Secession: sys-side: Michelle</a> - Acknowledges a few years after dissolution of Council that the clade has gotten out of hand, hints that she basically died when forking, irreversible, muses on how broken she must have been to lead to this situation, goes largely into seclusion to keep herself calm/stable, talking only to May Then My Name and a few others - 1599</li> <li class="done4"> <a href="secession/sys/Michelle/004.html">Secession: sys-side: Michelle</a> - Acknowledges a few years after dissolution of Council that the clade has gotten out of hand, hints that she basically died when forking, irreversible, muses on how broken she must have been to lead to this situation, goes largely into seclusion to keep herself calm/stable, talking only to May Then My Name and a few others - 1599</li>
<li class="done2"> <a href="launch/sys/Ioan/012.html">Launch: sys-side: Ioan</a> - Discusses role of each stanza; kind of freaks out at May b/c like finding out your in-laws-ish are the illuminati, though ey comes around because a) she explains need for control as trauma response, and b) tells myth in progress, about how the gods created the world in an attempt to shape it to their will, but instead became impersonal forces in the face of absolute independence; Ioan and May finally fucking get together, discuss irreversibility of that act, since Ioan didn&rsquo;t fork like Codrin - 2455</li> <li class="done2"> <a href="launch/sys/Ioan/012.html">Launch: sys-side: Ioan</a> - Discusses role of each stanza; kind of freaks out at May b/c like finding out your in-laws-ish are the illuminati, though ey comes around because a) she explains need for control as trauma response, and b) tells myth in progress, about how the gods created the world in an attempt to shape it to their will, but instead became impersonal forces in the face of absolute independence; Ioan and May finally fucking get together, discuss irreversibility of that act, since Ioan didn&rsquo;t fork like Codrin - 2455</li>
<li class="done3"> <a href="launch/launch/Codrin-pollux/008.html">Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Pollux</a> - Interviews Dear about just how much influence the Ode clade had/still has, what&rsquo;s next (death = irreversible, basically a do-over of the first interview) - 2717</li> <li class="done3"> <a href="launch/launch/Codrin-pollux/008.html">Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Pollux</a> - Interviews Dear about just how much influence the Ode clade had/still has, what&rsquo;s next (death = irreversible, basically a do-over of the first interview) - 2717</li>
<li class="done2"> REJECTED - combined with previous Ioan chapter <!--<a href="launch/sys/Ioan/013.html">Launch: sys-side: Ioan</a> -if the clade exists to explore/exploit need as trauma responses, what do each of the stanzas do (True Name's: political machinations; Praiseworthy's: artistic machinations; Qoheleth's: history/memory machinations), liberal side (not always later lines) has grown more earnest, rebelling against need to control, discusses future with May; sets up visit to Michelle's meadow on one year anniversary as a meaningful thing (but actually to meet with Douglas)--></li> <li class="done2"> REJECTED - combined with previous Ioan chapter <!--<a href="launch/sys/Ioan/013.html">Launch: sys-side: Ioan</a> -if the clade exists to explore/exploit need as trauma responses, what do each of the stanzas do (True Name's: political machinations; Praiseworthy's: artistic machinations; Qoheleth's: history/memory machinations), liberal side (not always later lines) has grown more earnest, rebelling against need to control, discusses future with May; sets up visit to Michelle's meadow on one year anniversary as a meaningful thing (but actually to meet with Douglas)--></li>

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writing/post-self/toledot/secession/sys/Michelle/004.html
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<h1>Zk | 004</h1> <h1>Zk | 004</h1>
</header> </header>
<article class="content"> <article class="content">
<h1 id="michelle-hadjesasha-2141">Michelle Hadje/Sasha &mdash; 2141</h1> <h1 id="michelle-hadjesasha-2151">Michelle Hadje/Sasha &mdash; 2151</h1>
<p>In the endless, rolling, field of dandelions, five people gathered.</p> <p>In the endless, rolling, field of dandelions, five people gathered.</p>
<p>Two of them were shaped like a woman. Short. Dark, curly hair. Round of cheek and soft of eye.</p> <p>Two of them were shaped like a woman. Short. Dark, curly hair. Round of cheek and soft of eye.</p>
<p>Two of them were shaped like skunks. Thick, soft fur. Tails longer than torsos, where the fur grew to more than a hand-span&rsquo;s length.</p> <p>Two of them were shaped like skunks. Thick, soft fur. Tails longer than torsos, where the fur grew to more than a hand-span&rsquo;s length.</p>
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<p>&ldquo;It definitely fucking is, May,&rdquo; In Dreams said. &ldquo;But I stand by what I said. You did what you did and that is an immutable fact. You cannot un-fork, Michelle. You cannot become what you were then, Sasha, you can only become what you will be.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;It definitely fucking is, May,&rdquo; In Dreams said. &ldquo;But I stand by what I said. You did what you did and that is an immutable fact. You cannot un-fork, Michelle. You cannot become what you were then, Sasha, you can only become what you will be.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I do not think that you fucked up, dear.&rdquo; Hammered silver plucked a dandelion and spun it between her fingers. &ldquo;You may <em>be</em> fucked up, if you somehow contained what it takes to be both May Then My Name <em>and</em> True Name within you, but even that is not your fault.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;I do not think that you fucked up, dear.&rdquo; Hammered silver plucked a dandelion and spun it between her fingers. &ldquo;You may <em>be</em> fucked up, if you somehow contained what it takes to be both May Then My Name <em>and</em> True Name within you, but even that is not your fault.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;The fuck-up, then would be the fact that I did not acknowledge that.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;The fuck-up, then would be the fact that I did not acknowledge that.&rdquo;</p>
<p>In Dreams pulled up a handful of grass and flowers and threw it at her, grinning. &ldquo;Do not mope. It does not become you.&rdquo;</p> <p>In Dreams pulled up a whole handful of grass and flowers and threw it at her, grinning. &ldquo;Do not mope. It does not become you.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Sasha/Michelle laughed, shrugged, and tried to tuck one of the flowers behind her ear, but as soon as a shift of form rolled across her face, it fell to the ground.</p> <p>Sasha/Michelle laughed, shrugged, and tried to tuck one of the flowers behind her ear, but as soon as a shift of form rolled across her face, it fell to the ground.</p>
<p>She wished that she could be just one thing for a little while, but seeing the outcome of a scattered mind creating copy after copy of herself, she knew that there was no solution that did not run the risk of becoming what she did not want to be.</p> <p>She wished that she could be just one thing for a little while, but seeing the outcome of a scattered mind creating copy after copy of herself, she knew that there was no solution that did not run the risk of becoming what she did not want to be.</p>
<p>She wished that she could be just one thing so that she could be touched. The shifting form made any touch unnerving and made her feel disgusting. She wished that for herself, and for May Then My Name, who looked as though she was using every ounce of willpower she had to keep from going in for a hug.</p> <p>She wished that she could be just one thing so that she could be touched. The shifting form made any touch unnerving and made her feel disgusting. She wished that for herself, and for May Then My Name, who looked as though she was using every ounce of willpower she had to keep from going in for a hug.</p>
@ -41,7 +41,7 @@
<p>They sat in silence for a while, then, this five-pack of her, and, regardless of what they thought about, she thought about empathy and mirrors of hammered silver and the end of memories, there, beneath the roots.</p> <p>They sat in silence for a while, then, this five-pack of her, and, regardless of what they thought about, she thought about empathy and mirrors of hammered silver and the end of memories, there, beneath the roots.</p>
<p><em>I think I died, back then,</em> Sasha thought/&rdquo;I think I died back then,&rdquo; Michelle said.</p> <p><em>I think I died, back then,</em> Sasha thought/&rdquo;I think I died back then,&rdquo; Michelle said.</p>
<p>To Pray frowned. &ldquo;What do you mean?&rdquo;</p> <p>To Pray frowned. &ldquo;What do you mean?&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I think I just gave everything I had to them. To you, I guess. &lsquo;Two weeks,&rsquo; I remember thinking. &lsquo;The first lines can take my place for two weeks, and then I will be back on the council, and they can do their own thing.&rsquo; But I think that I died. There was no returning to the council, because there was no more Sasha or Michelle.&rdquo; She nodded to In Dreams. &ldquo;There is no going, and there is no back.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;I think I just gave everything I had to them. To you, I guess. &lsquo;Two weeks,&rsquo; I remember thinking. &lsquo;The first lines can take my place for two weeks, and then I will be back on the council, and they can do their own thing.&rsquo; But I think that I died. There was no returning to the council, because there was no more Sasha or Michelle.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;And what is the fallout of being a dead woman walking?&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;And what is the fallout of being a dead woman walking?&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I do not know. I think that it means that I have stopped. I do not know if there is a path forward for me that involves me being anything other than what I am now. I died because with that act I cannot move on from where I am.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;I do not know. I think that it means that I have stopped. I do not know if there is a path forward for me that involves me being anything other than what I am now. I died because with that act I cannot move on from where I am.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Hammered Silver averted her eyes. &ldquo;I am not comfortable with that language.&rdquo;</p> <p>Hammered Silver averted her eyes. &ldquo;I am not comfortable with that language.&rdquo;</p>
@ -64,7 +64,7 @@
<p>And then she was Michelle. At least for a little while, she was just Michelle, and May Then My Name could brush her hair and they could talk about something &mdash; anything &mdash; else, and she could allow the thought that perhaps even the dead can be happy.</p> <p>And then she was Michelle. At least for a little while, she was just Michelle, and May Then My Name could brush her hair and they could talk about something &mdash; anything &mdash; else, and she could allow the thought that perhaps even the dead can be happy.</p>
</article> </article>
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<p>Page generated on 2021-10-13</p> <p>Page generated on 2021-10-17</p>
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