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<h1 id="rj-brewster-2114">RJ Brewster — 2114</h1>
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<p>There was some draw, some appeal to Dr. Ramirez for RJ. At first, ey suspected that it was the quiet intensity of her confidence, the way she moved through the world with a hunger for knowledge that was at all times colored by the light of the desire to do right by the world as a whole. Then, ey thought that it might simply be that she was a good person. She was the one who believed hard enough and strong enough to follow up on the lost. She was the one who had actually tried, had actually moved forward at a pace that meant progress on the case. Recently, ey had been thinking that it was something more abstract than that.</p>
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<p>There was some draw, some appeal to Dr. Ramirez. At first, RJ suspected that it was the quiet intensity of her confidence, the way she moved through the world with a hunger for knowledge that was at all times colored by the light of the desire to do right by the world as a whole. Then, ey thought that it might simply be that she was a good person. She was the one who believed hard enough and strong enough to follow up on the lost. She was the one who had actually tried, had actually moved forward at a pace that meant progress on the case. Recently, ey had been thinking that it was something more abstract than that.</p>
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<p>Concrete? Abstract? The line had long since blurred to meaninglessness.</p>
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<p>Ey had been lost for something beyond an eternity, for ‘eternity’ implied the existence of time, or at least a form of time that actually meant something. Ey had been lost for a day longer than forever, and had ey been lost for only hours, as Sasha had, it would have been longer still. Even then, the word ‘longer’ held far too much savor. It burned in the sinuses and left eir eyes stinging with tears.</p>
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<p>She had been the first one in more than forever that ey had seen. She had been the one who broke through the wall of eir solipsistic existence and encouraged em to reengage with the world. As the orbits of eir life grew smaller and smaller, they had collapsed into a wandering figure-eight around Sasha, the one who made em complete, and Carter, the one who tied em to reality.</p>
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<p>And so it was that, even beyond the meetings and interviews, beyond the panels and studies, ey found emself staying in touch with her. Once a week or two, ey would make the long walk from eir flat down to the cluster of UCL buildings and wait until she was free for lunch or dinner, or, had ey yet again forgotten the meaning of time, wait for her to arrive at work early in the morning so that they could grab coffee together.</p>
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<p>And so it was that, even beyond the meetings and interviews, beyond the panels and studies, ey found emself staying in touch with her. Once a week or two, ey would make the long walk from eir flat down to the cluster of UCL buildings and wait until she was free for lunch or dinner, or, had ey yet again forgotten the meaning of time, wait for her to arrive at work early in the morning so that they could get coffee together.</p>
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<p>She had not questioned it at all. Even that first time, after ey had hunted down her office in the UCL directory and arrived, unannounced, outside of it to wait awkwardly until she pulled back from her rig. She had simply smiled, shaken eir hand, and they had gone out for an afternoon cup of coffee with no further discussion. It had simply become the thing that they did every now and then. </p>
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<p>Perhaps that was why ey liked her? Maybe.</p>
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<p>Today, at lunch, ey joined Carter and two of her coworkers, Prakash Das and Avery Wilkins. Vietnamese had been the order of the day, and each of them had consoled em in turn about the loss of eir dear Priscilla, the cat who had been the only other grounding factor in eir life these last two years. A sudden loss of appetite, and then a sudden loss of life, and now ey needed the comfort of friends — or whatever it was that Carter had become — and some noise other than quiet jazz and London streets.</p>
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<p>Ey smiled too, though ey could feel exhaustion tugging at eir cheeks. Ey had slept, ey knew, but did not remember when. “Oh, trust me, there is plenty more where that came from.”</p>
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<p>“Where <em>does</em> it come from?” Carter asked.</p>
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<p>“I am not sure.” Ey sipped at eir tea, still too hot to drink comfortably. “Whatever wellspring that was unstoppered in…in there.”</p>
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<p>“And it’s stuck around?”</p>
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<p>“Seems like it stuck around.”</p>
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<p>Ey nodded.</p>
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<p>“Think you’ll ever turn it into something?” Avery grinned to em. “You know, write a book. Something like that.”</p>
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<p>“I had not thought of that. I do not know that I could make a plot out of what feels like millions of words in a rock tumbler. Perhaps a poem.”</p>
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<p>“Even infinite monkeys,” Carter said, as she always did whenever the topic came up. “Either way, you look thrashed, RJ. You sleeping okay?”</p>
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<p>“No. Maybe. I do not know.”</p>
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<p>Perhaps sensing some emotion deeper than exhaustion laying beneath the equivocation, the table fell silent, and ey once again looked out the window into the greying afternoon, thumb-tip tapping rhythmically along each of the contacts on the middle joints of eir fingers.</p>
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<p>Once the food arrived, the mood loosened up, and ey was able to smile and laugh and take part in the conversation, and even managed to apologize for being a damper on it only twice.</p>
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<p>Once the food arrived, the mood loosened up, and ey was able to smile and laugh and take part in the conversation, and even managed to apologize for being a damper on lunch only twice.</p>
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<p>Spring rolls and phở occupied their attention for a while, then, and they ate in silence except for the occasional ‘good soup’ and other such nothing compliments.</p>
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<p>The time neared one o’clock, whatever that meant, and they settled up the bill and took the remainder of their conversation outside, hands stuffed in pockets while clouds of steam preceded them.</p>
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<p>More laughter, more companionship. More warmth, despite the cold.</p>
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<p>Perhaps sleep.</p>
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<p>Ey made it a block away before ey heard the sound of jogging behind em, and stepped over closer to the wall to let the jogger pass. The sound slowed, however, and ey was greeted once more by Prakash.</p>
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<p>“Hey RJ, mind if I walk with you for a bit?”</p>
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<p>“Sure.” Ey frowned. “Why? Do you not have work?”</p>
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<p>“Sure.” Ey frowned. “Do you not have work?”</p>
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<p>He shrugged. “I do, but I’m getting sick of being cooped up. Begged an additional hour off to just get out for a bit.”</p>
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<p>“Alright.”</p>
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<p>A silence stretched for a few minutes before Prakash said, “Nice day, isn’t it?”</p>
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<p>At this, ey really did stop up short. “What do you mean, ‘somewhere new’?”</p>
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<p>“Arms races have fallen out of style. It’s not really considered fashionable to stockpile weapons or anything anymore.”</p>
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<p>RJ blinked, nonplussed.</p>
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<p>“Technology, however, brings with it a status of its own.” Prakash smiled, neither pityingly nor happily. Dreamily. “So if, as you say, dreams are the plate-glass atop memory, and if, as you’ve said in the past, getting lost put you in a mirrored cage, then these are bits of information related to technology. If one could drop the cage metaphor and set up a mirrored <em>world</em>, well, that would be quite the status symbol.”</p>
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<p>RJ stood a while in thought, searching Prakash’s face until the man averted his eyes, and even after. “What would be required of me?”</p>
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<p>“Technology, however, brings with it a status of its own.” Prakash smiled, neither pityingly nor happily. Dreamily. “So if, as you say, dreams are the plate-glass atop memory, and if, as you’ve said in the past, getting lost put you in a mirrored cage, then these are bits of information related to technology. If one could set aside the cage metaphor and set up a mirrored <em>world</em>, well, that would be quite the status symbol.”</p>
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<p>RJ stood a while in thought, searching Prakash’s face until the man averted his eyes. “What would be required of me?”</p>
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<p>“Nothing, for now. Just to stay in touch. Eventually, though, we’ll get you somewhere we can dig into research and after that, you’ll be one of the founders of something big. Really big.”</p>
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<p>The words came in a torrent, then, and with such an intensity that ey staggered and had to clutch at Prakash’s arm for support. “The flow of prophecy climbs up through the years, winter upon winter upon winter, and compels the future to do its bidding. The prophet is only a pipe that sounds when the past…shit. I am sorry. All of that to say ‘yes’. I am sorry.”</p>
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<p>Once the shock of the onrush of words wore off, Prakash nodded, smiling cautiously. “It’s okay, RJ. Like I said, nothing needs to be done right now. And I trust that you know not to mention this to anyone. Someone else will talk to Michelle about it. Talk to each of the lost, I mean. No need to bring it up with them. When things are lined up, we can go for another walk after coffee or something. Sound good?</p>
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<p>Ey laughed, earnest and true. “I suppose so. I was going to say “the prophet is only a pipe that sounds when the past demands it”, and given that I cannot seem to live in this world anymore, that demand is getting to be overwhelming.”</p>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-01-16</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-02-11</p>
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