From 9ed732234719137332804b409e528899e479a68b Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Madison Scott-Clary Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2021 22:45:10 -0800 Subject: [PATCH] update from sparkleup --- writing/post-self/neviim/ioan/004.html | 12 ++++++------ writing/post-self/neviim/remote/tycho/001.html | 13 +++++++------ 2 files changed, 13 insertions(+), 12 deletions(-) diff --git a/writing/post-self/neviim/ioan/004.html b/writing/post-self/neviim/ioan/004.html index b2a404e82..9d7cd1f5d 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/neviim/ioan/004.html +++ b/writing/post-self/neviim/ioan/004.html @@ -14,9 +14,9 @@

Ioan Bălan — 2346

May made it through dinner — Ioan was heartened to see that she’d actually eaten all of the chicken soup ey’d made — before padding off to a beanbag to curl up. She kept up a sleepy conversation for a few minutes while Ioan cleaned, but even that tapered off to silence. When next ey looked back, the skunk was asleep.

-

Every time ey’d left her to sleep out on the beanbag in the past, though, she’d spent the next day disoriented and moody (ey suspected this is what she’d meant when she said she slept better next to someone all those years ago), so, once ey finished cleaning, ey knelt beside the beanbag, wormed eir arms beneath her, and scooped her up.

+

Every time ey’d left her to sleep out on the beanbag in the past, though, she’d spent the next day disoriented and moody (ey suspected this is what she’d meant when she said she slept better next to someone all those years ago), so, once ey finished the unnecessary but meditative task of cleaning, ey knelt beside the beanbag, wormed eir arms beneath her, and scooped her up.

May made a sort of drowsy chirping noise as ey lifted her, hugging her arms around eir shoulders for the short journey to the bedroom. Long as her tail was, ey still had to be careful not to step on any of her fur with it hanging limply, almost to the ground.

-

Once there, ey helped her out of her clothes, unsteady as she seemed, and then tucked her in, leaning down to put a kiss on her cheek.

+

Once there, ey helped her out of her clothes, unsteady as she was, and then tucked her in, leaning down to put a kiss on her cheek.

“Ioan?”

“Yes?”

“Can you stay?”

@@ -27,7 +27,7 @@

“Poetic.”

“There are Odists involved, it’s going to be poetic through and through.”

She laughed and poked em in the belly with a claw. “Jerk.”

-

“That’s me, yes,” ey said, grinning and nudging her muzzle about with eir chin. “The Odists are learning how to manipulate new species. Tycho’s learning about the stars. I can’t speak to Sarah, but Codrin is along for the ride.”

+

“That’s me, yes,” ey said, grinning and nudging her muzzle this way and that with eir chin. “The Odists are learning how to manipulate new species. Tycho’s learning about the stars. I can’t speak to Sarah, but Codrin is along for the ride.”

“Did ey have much more to say about eir doubts?”

“A little. Ey’s still feeling more caught up in the events than an actual participant, but I think ey’s also starting to look for ways out of the cycle. I don’t know if ey’s picked up any specific ideas on how to take charge, but that ey’s decided that that’s something ey’d like to do is change enough.”

The skunk nodded. “You are a careful lot, but it is nice to see when you do become more assertive.”

@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@

A moment’s hesitation, and then May nodded. “I let In Dreams know.”

“Good. The more minds working on this, the better.”

“Are you really that worried, my dear?”

-

Ey frowned, shrugged. “That’s part of it. More, I just feel helpless. I’m not worried about you going sideways any time soon, really, and certainly hope you don’t at all, but should that happen, watching helplessly would be…well, it’s a big fear of mine.”

+

Ey frowned, shrugged. “That’s part of it. More, I just feel helpless. I’m not worried about you going sideways any time soon, honestly, and certainly hope you don’t at all, but should that happen, watching helplessly would be…well, it’s a big fear of mine.”

May hugged herself closer to em, snout once again ducking beneath eir chin. “I understand. I am stuck with the related fear of losing control. I do not like the feeling of not being in control of my emotions, even for these brief periods, but if that were to just become my life…”

After she trailed off, ey tightened eir arms around her, brushing fingertips through fur.

They lay like that in the quiet and the dark. Eir fork apparently finished up with eir notes and quit, but given the topics of conversation, ey declined to accept the merge. Ey did not want to be distracted from the simple task of petting May, of enjoying the feeling of having her back.

@@ -63,11 +63,11 @@

“Ioan Bălan, if you make me cry again, I will smother you in your sleep.”

Ey laughed. “It sounds like it’s already too late.”

“Thin fucking ice, buddy.” May sniffled and squirmed around until she could tuck back against eir front. “I love you too, my dear, top to bottom and front to back.”

-

As ey settled in for sleep, kissing the backs of the skunk’s ears, ey marveled that ey could only remember the Ioan who never thought to form attachments, who could never remember to ask May if they were in a relationship, who continually wondered how she wound up in eir life as some other person. That Ioan was gone. Ey had slipped out while the Ioan ey was now wasn’t looking, and had never come back. Ey wished em luck, this younger version of emself. Ey wished em happiness and fulfillment. And, should that Ioan ever find emself struck by the wonder of love, ey wished em courage in the face of it.

+

As ey settled in for sleep, kissing the backs of the skunk’s ears, ey marveled that ey could only remember the Ioan who never thought to form attachments, who could never remember to ask May if they were in a relationship, who continually wondered how she wound up in eir life as some other person. Ey could only remember em as though from a distance. That Ioan was gone. Ey had slipped out while the Ioan ey was now wasn’t looking, and had never come back. Ey wished em luck, this younger version of emself. Ey wished em happiness and fulfillment. And, should that Ioan ever find emself struck by the wonder of love, ey wished em courage in the face of it.

This Ioan, the one ey was now, understood the value in attachments, and yet ey could still marvel, twenty years on, at just how much more complete ey was with May in eir life, and for that, ey’d be forever thankful.