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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2021-01-17 07:40:07 +00:00
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<h2 id="story">Story</h2>
<p>I wrap emotions in the cool embrace of jargon to soften sharp edges, take the sting out of ones I feel too keenly. It&rsquo;s why I got into this field. It&rsquo;s why I studied what I did. Of course I care for my patients, and of course I love what I do, but my reason for being here, for being a psychologist, is a simple insatiable need to explain away my emotions.</p>
<p>I wrap emotions in the cool embrace of jargon to soften sharp edges and take the sting out of ones I feel too keenly. It&rsquo;s why I got into this field. It&rsquo;s why I studied what I did. Of course I care for my patients, and of course I love what I do, but my reason for being here, for being a psychologist, is a simple insatiable need to explain away my emotions.</p>
<p>I&rsquo;ve talked about it with my therapist at length - we all have them, therapist-therapists, and you should never trust a therapist who does not. We talk about my need to hide behind words as a way of reducing my vulnerability. They become armor, when taken in this sense.</p>
<p>There&rsquo;s a tension, then, between these two explanations: to put it the way I did at the beginning is to allow words to be a useful tool to define the edges of my emotions and perhaps make them easier to digest and understand in the process.</p>
<p>To hear Jeremy&rsquo;s suggestion, though, my words are a means by which I might reduce my responsibility to actually feel the emotions I try to define.</p>
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<p>Ah well, I suppose that this has already been therapeutic, in its own way. I have a task I can set for myself, and, knowing me, all I need to do is let my sense of duty loose on it and we&rsquo;ll see if it bears any fruit in the weeks and months to come.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2021-01-16</p>
<p>Page generated on 2021-01-17</p>
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