update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2023-06-15 00:15:12 -07:00
parent 05939c5866
commit a47e875b95
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<article class="content">
<h2 id="blind-strife">Blind Strife</h2>
<p>((Struggling against expectations versus desires esp re: feeling like I deserve to take up space))</p>
<p>((Justification through external sources))</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2023-06-14</p>
<p>Page generated on 2023-06-15</p>
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<p>Am I too demanding? Do I need too much minding? Is the amount of attention I seem to seek above the norm, whatever that is?</p>
<p>Do I park myself in the corner of others&rsquo; minds? Do I sit cross-legged on the floor, a tripping hazard? Do I follow them around their thoughts, speaking? Or not speaking, yet nevertheless present?</p>
<p>Is asking so many questions just feeding into that anxiety?</p>
<blockquote>
<p>For we, when we feel, evaporate. Oh,<br />
we breathe ourselves out and away. From ember to fading ember,<br />
we give off a fainter scent. Oh, someone may tell us:<br />
You get in my blood, this room, the springtime,<br />
is filled with you&hellip;\footnote{\parencite[23]{duino}}</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I have recently had several conversations about this, about how much space I take up. Almost all of them take place over text, too, as they often come with a worry that synchronous communication might be too much of a demand. Some of them take place between my partners and I speaking frankly about how we interact with each other. Others take place between other versions of me, characters I role play or those that I write, each expressing their own anxiety.</p>
<p>Over the years, I have thankfully fallen out of the habit of asking whether or not I am a burden.</p>
<p>((How much space I take up))</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2023-06-14</p>
<p>Page generated on 2023-06-15</p>
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