From a6b6970ee73702ffecfae6069201039a100cfa4e Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Madison Scott-Clary Date: Fri, 27 Oct 2023 14:50:11 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] update from sparkleup --- writing/post-self/marsh/008.html | 14 ++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 14 insertions(+) diff --git a/writing/post-self/marsh/008.html b/writing/post-self/marsh/008.html index 79e5cc2da..28bc4d029 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/marsh/008.html +++ b/writing/post-self/marsh/008.html @@ -27,6 +27,20 @@

“Too many emotions at once?” I suggested.

It shrugged. “Maybe. I mean, that’s definitely true, but I don’t know if that’s why I fell apart.”

“You do not need to know why, love,” Dry Grass said gently. “You are allowed to be a confused mess in this confused mess of a life.”

+

I nodded, dredging a skewer of shrimp through the bubbling hotpot and waiting for it to cool enough to eat. “I have no clue how to feel, myself. I keep alternating between tired and down on myself for not doing enough, and working frantically on what feels like a good idea until another comes up.”

+

Dry Grass tilted her head, a curious gesture I’d noticed in her cocladists as well. “Are you still feeling conflicting emotions from your merge?”

+

I stiffened in my seat.

+

“Only if you are comfortable discussing it, of course,” she continued, voice soft. “I just imagine that there is no more appropriate crowd than this.”

+

Both my cocladists had a blank look on their face before Tule fell once more into laughter. “Oh my god, Reed.”

+

“What?” Cress asked.

+

“I merged down before New Year’s.”

+

“Yeah? And? I don’t–” it began, then flushed red in its cheeks. It started to laugh as well, “Oh no, Reed. You kept the memories?”

+

“Yeah. It was a confusing night, you merged down before I’d forked my new instance,” I said. I slouched down in my seat, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks as I watched both of my cocladists laugh while Dry Grass sat, smiling earnestly at me. I knew that smile well, knew it from nights and nights together, from Sunday brunches and afternoons lounging in the sun. I shook my head to clear it. “You really want to talk about this now?”

+

She nodded. “I would like to talk about anything — literally anything other than what we have been talking about for days — and I will never turn down the chance to talk about feelings.”

+

“It’s not a bad idea, Reed,” Cress said, still grinning. “If you want to, I mean. I imagine it’s gotta be weird as hell.”

+

“Oh, it is!” I said. “I certainly wasn’t thinking I’d wind up with a bunch of feelings for someone I’ve only met a handful of times. I have years and years of memories of you two together, seeing each other every day, even you falling in love, and those have always gone to the instance that merged down with Marsh.”

+

“Wait, so…everything?”

+

I shrugged. “I left some of the merge to finish after I merged down, but then my down-tree quit and I was left with