update from sparkleup
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<p>Everyone was off in the morning. Tired, grumpy, sore.</p>
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<p>The narrowness of the cots had frustrated Ioan and May throughout the night. They <em>could</em> both fit on one, but only if they straightened out rather than their usual tight curl. At one point, they tried dragging the cots to be side by side, but the frames against each other made a hard ridge that was impossible to rest on comfortably. In the end, they’d fallen asleep on their on cots, facing each other, arms tangled enough to get at least some contact through the night.</p>
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<p>Whether or not True Name had actually slept seemed up in the air. She had shrugged noncommittally when asked, but she certainly didn’t look like she had.</p>
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<p>Whether or not True Name had actually slept seemed up in the air. She had shrugged noncommittally when asked, but it certainly didn’t look like she had.</p>
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<p>Conversation was equally awkward. May apologized stiffly to her down-tree instance over breakfast of further sandwiches and True Name accepted graciously enough, but then they fell into silence again.</p>
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<p>After breakfast, there was little else to do but head back home. The camp remained set up. Ioan couldn’t begin to guess how to take down the tents, given how distracted ey’d been while End Waking had been setting them up. <em>Besides,</em> ey reasoned. <em>Best to keep them around just in case things go sideways.</em></p>
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<p>They decided to leave forks behind in case anything went wrong, then Ioan took each of the skunks’ paws and stepped back home.</p>
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<p>Ey sat down carefully by May and held both of their coffees while the skunk scooted in close against em as usual before handing hers over. It felt good to be back in a more comfortable setting, back where em and May could could at least get close, even if everything still felt nerve-wracking. </p>
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<p>They drank in silence for a while, minus a thank you from each of the skunks, each of them doing their best to un-cringe from last day’s worth of anxiety.</p>
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<p>It worked a little too well, perhaps, as ey had to nudge May awake to finish her coffee and shower, and the prospect of levering emself out of the beanbag felt out of reach to em. All the same, ey needed to at least get the other room created, then perhaps the three of them could nap.</p>
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<p>Once May was on her way to the shower, ey stood, finished eir coffee, and began to work. A series of intents were dumped into the sim. A doorway cut itself out of the wall opposite the doorway to eir own bedroom. A room extruded itself beyond the doorway, filling itself with all of the very same stuff that eirs and May’s contained. The sim’s boundaries whined in protest at not having enough for the windows to look out on and, too tired to think of any other options, ey mirrored the yard as well so that True Name’s room looked out over the same grass and dandelions.</p>
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<p>Once May was on her way to the shower, ey stood, finished eir coffee, and began to work. Ey dumped a series of intents into the sim. A doorway cut itself out of the wall opposite the doorway to eir own bedroom. A room extruded itself beyond the doorway, filling itself with all of the very same stuff that eirs and May’s contained. The sim’s boundaries whined in protest at not having enough for the windows to look out on and, too tired to think of any other options, ey mirrored the yard as well so that True Name’s room looked out over the same grass and dandelions.</p>
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<p><em>If she stays for any real length of time, maybe I can just mirror the rest of the house and she can have a full setup.</em></p>
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<p>That was enough for now, though, and ey could get started going through the room from top to bottom, wiping it of eirs and May’s presence. Anything that wasn’t the bed, the nightstands, and any other furniture was either evaluated and left for its decorative value or swiped away to nothingness. A damp May joined em partway through the exercise, and by the time they were done, the room was left clean and neat, sparsely decorated without being oppressively empty.</p>
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<p>That was enough for now, though. Ey got started going through the room from top to bottom, wiping it of eirs and May’s presence. Anything that wasn’t the bed, the nightstands, and any other furniture was either evaluated and either left for its decorative value or swiped away to nothingness. A damp May joined em partway through the exercise, and by the time they were done, the room was left clean and neat, sparsely decorated without being oppressively empty.</p>
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<p>“Hopefully it’s not too bleak,” ey said once May had fetched True Name. “I gave you some ACLs over the space if you need to make or recycle anything. Just let me know if the room itself needs changing.”</p>
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<p>The skunk stood, silent and still, for nearly a minute, leaving em to fidget while May looked on, frowning.</p>
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<p>Finally, she cleared her throat and said hoarsely. “This is more than enough, my dear. I do not know why you two…but, well, perhaps I should get cleaned up and then we can talk proper. I am perhaps a little too emotional for that at the moment.”</p>
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<p>She nodded.</p>
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<p>Ey wanted to ask her how well that fit her monologue, that idea that to be built to love is to be built to hate yourself. Ey wanted to go back sixteen hours or however long it had been and kick Jonas’s ass. Ey wanted to go back twenty-four hours and warn True Name, to go back three and a half years and warn the True Name ey’d first gotten coffee with.</p>
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<p>Instead, ey said, “You’re a good person, May.”</p>
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<p>The skunk nodded again and tightened her grip around em. “Thank you, my dear.”</p>
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<p>She tightened her grip around em. “Thank you, my dear.”</p>
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<p>When True Name finished her shower and grooming, looking far more herself than she had since the year before, they sat around the dining table to hash out boundaries.</p>
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<p>“I do not want to impose on you more than I already have,” the skunk began. “I will certainly stay out of your private space, and I figure a closed door is a plain enough signal to be left alone. Should I stick to my room for the most part?”</p>
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<p>May let out a snort of laughter. “I am sorry, True Name. I do not mean to laugh, but I have never heard you so deferential in my life.”</p>
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<p>“Good points. Both of you. I would prefer not to die as well.” She straightened up in her chair and smiled, a hint of that confidence showing through. “So, to my question. Do you have any thoughts?”</p>
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<p>“Closed doors means don’t bother, stay out of each others rooms. Cones of silence and secure visual ACLs to be respected,” ey said, then shrugged. “But I think that’s all obvious stuff. I don’t see any reason for you to stay out of common areas, I guess, and I’m fine with you eating with us, too, but I also freely acknowledge that that’s me speaking. I don’t want you two, uh…”</p>
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<p>“Fighting and arguing should be avoided, yes,” True Name said with a slight bow of acknowledgement. “It is your house, though, and I know that our relationship is fraught. I will defer to May Then My Name, given the power dynamic and social restrict–“</p>
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<p>“I promise that I will not try to assassinate you or bounce you so long as you give us space when either of us ask, okay?”</p>
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<p>“I promise that I will not try to pull out all of your fur or bounce you so long as you give us space when either of us ask, okay?”</p>
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<p>The skunk blinked a few times, then smiled cautiously. “Understood.”</p>
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<p>“Wait, that easy?” Ioan said.</p>
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<p>“Not everything need be complicated, my dear. Boundaries are most often found by crossing them. We will have negotiation ahead of us as well, I am sure.” May shrugged, adding, “This does not make our relationship any less complicated, but endlessly refining rules ahead of time will only stress all of us out.”</p>
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@ -70,7 +70,7 @@
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<p>“Naps all around,” True Name added. “Again, thank you two.”</p>
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</article>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-04-10</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-04-19</p>
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<p>Ey laughed. “I don’t know, I think it might be a you thing. May seems pretty fond of it.”</p>
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<p>“An improvement, then,” she said, grinning. “Mugs?”</p>
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<p>Ey showed her where they kept the mugs, then the cream and sugar for doctoring coffee and spoons for stirring. Once the pot finished brewing and all three cups had been poured, ey excused emself back to the bedroom with eirs and May’s coffee to finish waking up with eir partner.</p>
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<p>And so it continued. They would speak in the morning and over dinner, perhaps a few times throughout the day, but otherwise, they worked on their own projects. They’d say good morning to each other, say good night to each other, say polite things in passing. Little of it felt like it was done out of kindness, but rather out of a need to remain aware of each others’ presence.</p>
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<p>And so it continued. They would speak in the morning and over dinner, perhaps a few times throughout the day, but otherwise, they worked on their own projects. They’d say good morning to each other, say good night to each other, say polite things in passing. Little of it felt like it was done out of kindness, but rather out of a need to remain cognizant of each others’ presence.</p>
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<p>The snow first melted and then was replaced when a new storm lay down a delicate few inches; even the weather felt careful.</p>
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<p>It wasn’t until the third full day since their return that the spell was broken, when, shortly after lunch, True Name stepped into her field of view, bowed, and politely requested a conversation with May.</p>
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<p>The skunk frowned and beckoned her over to the couch.</p>
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<p>True Name apologized to Ioan, then set up a cone of silence with secure visual ACLs.</p>
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<p>Three days was just long enough to start building up habit, such that Ioan was left anxious and jittery when they were broken. Seeing it from the outside for the first time, ey was left with a slight sense of disorientation from the way the cone blurred both the occupants and the background, the edges of its boundaries unnervingly sharp.</p>
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<p>Three days was just long enough to start building up habits, such that Ioan was left anxious and jittery when they were broken. Seeing it from the outside for the first time, ey was left with a slight sense of disorientation from the way the cone blurred both the occupants and the background, the edges of its boundaries unnervingly sharp.</p>
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<p>There was nothing to be gained from watching the indistinct shapes within. A quiet conversation had them simply looking like two black forms against the relative brightness of the balcony. Ey couldn’t see expressions, couldn’t see but the most grandiose of body language.</p>
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<p>And yet ey watched, slipping over to the kitchen to clean, or at least dream up some chore that needed doing there, just so that ey could keep an eye on the cone.</p>
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<p>It was boring, and that it was boring only drove eir anxiety higher.</p>
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<p>The conversation lasted nearly an hour, and when the cone dropped, ey was greeted once again by the sight of the two skunks. To say that neither looked happy missed the mark: True Name had a dullness to her expression, something between hopelessness and resignation, while May looked apoplectic. She’d clearly been crying quite hard at one point.</p>
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<p>The conversation lasted nearly an hour, and when the cone dropped, ey was greeted once again by the sight of the two skunks. To say that neither looked happy missed the mark: True Name had a dullness to her expression, something between resignation and hopelessness, while May looked apoplectic. She’d clearly been crying quite hard at one point.</p>
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<p>Ey ducked around the kitchen counter as quickly as ey could. “May? True Name? Are you–“</p>
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<p>May waved a hand dismissively and blipped out of the sim. There was a sensorium ping a moment later, a view of Arrowhead Lake.</p>
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<p>“What just happened?”</p>
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<p>True Name shrugged, the movement looking as though she was struggling against hundreds of gravities rather than just one. “I explained what has been happening.”</p>
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<p>True Name shrugged, the movement looking as though she was struggling against dozens of gravities rather than just one. “I explained what has been happening.”</p>
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<p>Ey frowned, feeling eir own anger rise out of anxiety. “Well? What’s been happening? I don’t exactly like seeing her that upset.”</p>
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<p>“No, I suppose not.” She sighed and slouched against the back of the couch, rubbing at her forehead. “I explained the shift between Jonas and I over the last twenty-five years. I explained the last few weeks.”</p>
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<p>“And pissed her off.”</p>
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<p>She rolled her head to the side, enough get a sidelong glance at em. “I am sorry, Ioan. I cannot be the only one to know these things. I have had all of my existing support removed. All of my forks, all of my cocladists, all of my friends. It is small consolation, I am sure, but I have left May Then My Name angrier at Jonas than I think she ever was at me.”</p>
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<p>She rolled her head to the side, enough get a sidelong glance at em. “I am sorry, Ioan. I cannot be the only one to know these things. I have had all of my existing support removed. All of my forks, all of my cocladists, most of my friends. It is small consolation, I am sure, but I have left May Then My Name angrier at Jonas than I think she ever was at me.”</p>
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<p>Ey blinked and straightened up. “At Jonas?”</p>
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<p>She let her head slip back down off the back of the couch, looking down at her paws. “I cannot tell you, Ioan. Not yet.”</p>
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<p>“Nothing?” Ey shook eir head. “Sorry, True Name, I’m not asking you to betray a secret or anything. I’m just worried.”</p>
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<p>She shrugged again, slowly rolled up off the couch to her feet, swayed for a moment, then walked off to her room, the door snicking shut behind her.</p>
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</article>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-04-07</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-04-19</p>
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