update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2022-03-28 21:30:14 -07:00
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<p>&ldquo;I did not talk with Death Itself much, and I was never able to speak with I Do Not Know. I did not know them except through observation. I am sorry&ndash; no.&rdquo; She shook her head, frowning. &ldquo;I was going to say that I am sorry that they are no longer with us, but you know as well as I that this is not some small loss for us to be brushed away with thoughts and prayers, even for those of us who did not speak with them. Sad is not the correct term. I am anxious.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;Anxious of how this madness, as End Waking called it, might affect you and yours?&rdquo;</p>
<p>She nodded, averting her eyes. &ldquo;I am fucking terrified, Ioan. What am I to do in the face of such enormity?&rdquo;</p>
<p>Ey blinked, taken aback. This was not how ey&rsquo;d imagined the conversation would go. Ey&rsquo;d pictured her providing some glib explanation for what was happening and perhaps outlining the steps that she and her close cocladists were taking to control the situation. Ey was expecting her to steer em towards confidence in her, and hopefully even to sooth eir fears about May through doing so.</p>
<p>Ey blinked, taken aback. This was not how ey&rsquo;d imagined the conversation would go. Ey&rsquo;d pictured her providing some glib explanation for what was happening and perhaps outlining the steps that she and her close cocladists were taking to control the situation. Ey was expecting her to steer em towards confidence in her, and hopefully even to soothe eir fears about May through doing so.</p>
<p>This wasn&rsquo;t the True name ey remembered. Were these her own cracks showing?</p>
<p>Ey prowled through memories of the conversations ey&rsquo;d had with her over the years &mdash; several, during those first few years after launch, then the rapid decrease after the publication of the <em>History</em> &mdash; and tallied up each against the next.</p>
<p>&ldquo;You&rsquo;ve changed quite a bit, True Name,&rdquo; ey said. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know what you&rsquo;re supposed to do, that&rsquo;s out of my league. All I can say is that you&rsquo;ve changed. It looks like it takes you a lot of effort to keep the confidence that used to be so integral to your personality.&rdquo;</p>
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<p>She bowed again and stepped from the sim, leaving em to sit on the couch and finish eir tea, mulling over the differences between changing and forgetting. Without forgetting, all True Name had, all they <em>all</em> had, was the ability to change, and all they could do was hope that this would be enough to keep them all sane.</p>
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<p>Clearly, one of the delegates from Castor had instructed the Artemisians on not just how to send text back to Artemis, but how to do so in a private way. Artemis itself, however, couldn&rsquo;t figure out how to represent that, and perhaps that&rsquo;s what clade-eyes-only text might actually be in the perisystem architecture.</p>
<p>Ey recreated the note on a few fresh sheets of paper, eir own message on one and Turun Ka&rsquo;s on another, and headed back to the meeting.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Leader Turun Ka,&rdquo; ey said, once they were gathered together once more. &ldquo;I have received a message from your counterpart back on Castor. It is encrypted for your eyes only, though I&rsquo;m not sure how well that functionality transfers between systems.&rdquo;</p>
<p>The firstracer&rsquo;s head remained still, leaving no clues as to its opinion of this matter, and it accepted the note that Codrin passed over gracefully. It didn&rsquo;t hold it up to see or bow its head to look down at it, so ey figured that as soon as it changed hands, it must have changed its form. Paper, after all, was only a symbol. Letters, words, and written language only signs.</p>
<p>The firstracer&rsquo;s head remained still, leaving no clues as to its opinion of this matter, and it gracefully accepted the note that Codrin passed over. It didn&rsquo;t hold it up to see or bow its head to look down at it, so ey figured that as soon as it changed hands, it must have changed its form. Paper, after all, was only a symbol. Letters, words, and written language only signs.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Thank you, recorder Codrin Bălan. The information is intact.&rdquo;</p>
<p>As ey expected, this was followed up by a blurred meeting of the Artemisian delegates in fast time.</p>
<p>Ey spent the time sneaking glances at True Name and Answers Will Not Help, catching Tycho and Sarah doing the same.</p>
@ -71,7 +71,7 @@
<p>&ldquo;Your break-respite need not be brief-short,&rdquo; Turun Ko said. &ldquo;We are capable-of-able-to-permitted-to skew the unison room to allow for longer rests.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;No!&rdquo; This time, Answers Will Not Help did shout, voice shifting slightly as she slid this way and that away from common time. &ldquo;Sorry. No, please do not &mdash; motes in the stage-lights &mdash; please do not take time from us. No, no no no, please&hellip;&rdquo;</p>
<p>Iska&rsquo;s expression had steadily grown more and more alarmed throughout the proceedings. &ldquo;I do not&ndash;&ldquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;We will reconvene in fifteen minutes common time,&rdquo; Turun Ka said. Nothing in its voice changed from how it normally spoke, though it having spoke was enough to quell Iska to silence. &ldquo;Representative Artante Diria, representative Iska, please convene to address this issue moving forward from a technical and psychological standpoint. When we return, we will indeed move on to another subject.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;We will reconvene in fifteen minutes common time,&rdquo; Turun Ka said. Nothing in its voice changed from how it normally spoke, though it having spoke was enough to quell Iska to silence. &ldquo;Representative Artante Diria, representative Iska, please convene to address this issue moving forward from a psychological and technical standpoint. When we return, we will indeed move on to another subject.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Iska bowed their head in assent.</p>
<p>Answers Will Not Help was sobbing in earnest now, stifling it as best she can with her face hidden behind the notebook she had before her but had yet to touch.</p>
<p><em>&ldquo;I cannot feel em&rdquo;? Feel who?</em> Codrin thought, frowning.</p>
@ -81,7 +81,7 @@
<p>&ldquo;Now, I would like to lie down during this break. Please accompany me so that I may dictate this letter.&rdquo;</p>
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<p>She did not move from her spot on the floor. &ldquo;You have heard about what it means to get lost, but there is no possible way that I can explain the way it has warped us.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Silence and stillness fell once more as all waited for True Name to continue. After a few long breaths and coarse swallows, she mastered her form once more. She knelt beside Codrin, wiping at the tear streaks on her muzzle and the dripping from her nose.</p>
<p>&ldquo;We are incomplete. We are unwhole.&rdquo; Her voice was bitter, even as she worked to bring back that mask of competence. &ldquo;We were broken and remain so. I do not know how it is that Answers Will Not Help was able to&hellip;to manage skew or quit. You have my most abject apologies for the trouble caused, and for the deception with&ndash;&ldquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;Leader True Name,&rdquo; Turun Ka said, interrupting as politely as it had before. &ldquo;There will be time to discuss this topic. That time remains in the future. For now, please take this opportunity to, <em>lu</em>&hellip;gather yourself and clean up. You may take as long as you required. When you are able, you and I shall meet in our role as leaders.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;Leader True Name,&rdquo; Turun Ka said, interrupting as politely as it had before. &ldquo;There will be time to discuss this topic. That time remains in the future. For now, please take this opportunity to, <em>lu</em>&hellip;gather yourself and clean up. You may take as long as you require. When you are able, you and I shall meet in our role as leaders.&rdquo;</p>
<p>The skunk wilted, her ears splaying to the sides. &ldquo;Of course, leader Turun Ka.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;Are you amenable to increasing the skew in the unison room? This will allow you to take all the time you need.&rdquo;</p>
<p>She nodded. &ldquo;Yes, that would be fine. It is uncomfortable, but I can sleep through the discomfort.&rdquo;</p>
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<p><em>All that may be, but what do I do with it?</em> ey thought. <em>And how the hell am I going to keep what I heard hidden and buried?</em></p>
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