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Madison Scott-Clary 2022-07-14 00:05:14 -05:00
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<p>Ears splayed and eyes wide with alarm, the skunk reached out to take one of eir hands in her own. &ldquo;I am sorry, Ioan. If I overstepped, I apologize.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Letting the skunk lace her fingers with eirs, ey shook eir head as though to dislodge the slight dizziness that had come with the realization. &ldquo;Maybe?&rdquo; Ey forced a smile. &ldquo;I mean, maybe uploading was my fix for that situation? I don&rsquo;t know.&rdquo;</p>
<p>She nodded, gave eir hand a gentle squeeze.</p>
<p>&ldquo;I think you&rsquo;re the only person I&rsquo;ve really loved other than Dragoș,&rdquo; ey said, nudging the conversation back on track to avoid settling into that particular rumination. &ldquo;That&rsquo;s what I meant. I want to make things good for you, whether it&rsquo;s you overflowing, stuff with True Name, or any other number of things that aren&rsquo;t my responsibility or even under my control.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I think you&rsquo;re the only person I&rsquo;ve really loved other than Rareș,&rdquo; ey said, nudging the conversation back on track to avoid settling into that particular rumination. &ldquo;That&rsquo;s what I meant. I want to make things good for you, whether it&rsquo;s you overflowing, stuff with True Name, or any other number of things that aren&rsquo;t my responsibility or even under my control.&rdquo;</p>
<p>May smiled, the expression veering perilously close to a smirk. &ldquo;You have said that you want to fix things for True Name at times, too. Are you sure you are not in love?&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve also talked about how often I&rsquo;ll wind up getting caught off guard by how much you two still look and sound alike,&rdquo; ey said, smirking right back. &ldquo;She&rsquo;s nice and I do want to help her, but I think I&rsquo;m a ways off from that.&rdquo;</p>
<p>She laughed. &ldquo;I know, I know. You just leave yourself so open, sometimes, a girl cannot help herself. You are also allowed to want to help friends and acquaintances as well as me.&rdquo;</p>
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<p>It wasn&rsquo;t until they&rsquo;d made it back to bed and curled up together that ey was finally able to truly let go of the topic, though. Even throughout eir writing, a small portion of eir mind had been dedicated to the question of what eir role was between the two skunks and why it both rankled and felt necessary.</p>
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<p>&ldquo;It is not that weird. It is an artifact of our lives. Death has a different flavor to it when we fork and quit on a whim, living for centuries at a time.&rdquo; She set to work brushing her fingers through eir hair. Weird to be petted, but it felt good, so ey never stopped her. She continued, &ldquo;Which is not to say that it is important and anxiety inducing to have almost lost one&rsquo;s life, just that, with a modicum of care, she <em>can</em> continue living, even if in a restricted fashion. With less fear of death comes greater love.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Eyes closed and chin tucked nearly to eir chest, ey hummed thoughtfully. &ldquo;I suppose, yeah. I didn&rsquo;t have much life outside the System that I can compare, never mind love.&rdquo;</p>
<p>May giggled. &ldquo;I was not speaking of romance, my dear.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Ey snorted, shaking eir head. &ldquo;Neither was I, you nut. I just meant Dragoș and my parents.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Ey snorted, shaking eir head. &ldquo;Neither was I, you nut. I just meant Rareș and my parents.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;Well, touché. We do not have very good language around love, in my defense.&rdquo; She ruffled eir hair and ey could hear the smirk in her voice as she said, &ldquo;Not that that will ever stop me from teasing you about falling in love with her.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Ey laughed and poked at her side a few times, hunting for a ticklish spot. &ldquo;Who&rsquo;s rude now, hmm?&rdquo;</p>
<p>Giggling helplessly, May squirmed until she tipped off eir lap, curling protectively into a ball. &ldquo;It is just so easy, Ionuț, do not blame me!&rdquo;</p>
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<p>&ldquo;Another time,&rdquo; ey mumbled, pushing eir face into her soft fur. &ldquo;I can&rsquo;t imagine I&rsquo;m going to be able to sleep tomorrow night, so we might as well get some tonight.&rdquo;</p>
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<h1>Zk | Synopsis of Mitzvot</h1>
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<h2 id="part-1-conversation">Part 1 &mdash; Conversation</h2>
<p>It&rsquo;s been about three and a half years since the fourth convergence, the meeting of the Artemesians with Castor. Life has taken a bit of a swing toward the adventuresome as news and new technology trickle their way back down to Lagrange, the original instance of the System in orbit around Earth. Technological changes include finer-grained ACLs that control permissions on various bits of the System, allowing for opaqued or visually secure cones of silence, limits on sensorium messages, etc.</p>
<p>During those three years, <em>Ioan Bălan</em> has been getting coffee with <em>The Only Time I Know My True Name Is When I Dream</em> of the Ode clade once a month. While the relationship between True Name and&hellip;well, everyone has been kind of strained, it was particularly tense between her and Ioan&rsquo;s partner <em>May Then My Name Die With Me</em> of the Ode clade, who, for years, struggled with feelings of hatred towards True Name. Although that hatred has softened towards resentment, these monthly coffee dates, where Ioan and True Name just chat and then work on their own projects, have been meant to keep avenues open between the two, since neither May nor True Name have given up hope on figuring out a path forward. They always seem to talk about each other to Ioan, and it kind of feels like they <em>want</em> to move forward, but they can&rsquo;t yet find a way.</p>
<p>Oh, speaking of projects, Ioan is working on adapting eir book <em>On the Perils of Memory</em> (the story of Qoheleth) for the stage, True Name is prepping the System on the political side for the technological advancement that will allow audiovisual communication between the System and Earth instead of just text, and May is working on a monologue about being built to love.</p>
<p>Ioan and May are just <em>incredibly</em> gay together, and it&rsquo;s painfully sweet, but I promise it&rsquo;s a legit plot element.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, after a windstorm blew a tree over and crushed his tent and impaled his leg on a branch, <em>Do I Know God After The End Waking</em> has interrupted his months of solitude and called his boyfriend <em>Debarre</em> back to help him rebuild the tent in a new location. They&rsquo;re also pretty gay, but, like, in a super stoic way because E.W. can&rsquo;t emote and Debarre is a weasel and thus made of angst. May stops by their sim to visit and a) complain about the fact that True Name is in eir life, b) fret about why this still feels important, and c) flirt with Debarre (who is Very Gay™) to make him uncomfortable.</p>
<p>Ioan heads out to Arrowhead Lake &mdash; the abandoned mountain lake sim that ey discovered decades back &mdash; for a walk to try and tease apart eir own feelings on being the bridge between May and True Name. Ey worries that ey has this urge to fix things in relationships, whether or not ey actually can (or whether or not those involved even want that). Ey&rsquo;s been fretting about this for a while, and even May has picked up on it, as she mentions when they go out to dinner afterwards. She suggests that this is maybe something that has always been the case for em, and that em uploading to provide eir brother Rareș with the subsidy funds was a way for em to &lsquo;fix&rsquo; the situation as best ey could.</p>
<p>True Name and Ioan have agreed that their next monthly meeting should be on Secession/Launch day, January 21 (yes I chose my birthday, no I am not sorry). This time, though, True Name arrives looking terrible, paranoid, like she hasn&rsquo;t slept in days, hasn&rsquo;t showered in a week, and hasn&rsquo;t changed her clothes in even longer. She says that she&rsquo;s been struggling, but that she and <em>Jonas Anderson</em>, the other behind-the-scenes leader of the System, have a &lsquo;gathering&rsquo; later in the day. Weird choice of words, but that&rsquo;s what he said. As part of that, she&rsquo;s distracted with the fact that her instances are going to merge down before the gathering to reduce conflicts. Partway through this, one merge has learned that Jonas is looking for her, which is weird, because he knows she&rsquo;s with Ioan. The merges suddenly stop, though, along with all communication with her instances. She leaps to her feet, looks around the coffee shop, and sees the same assassin that killed Qoheleth walking toward them, so she grabs Ioan&rsquo;s hand and yells for em to take her &lsquo;somewhere, anywhere&rsquo;. Ey tries taking her home, where they find the same assassin struggling with May, who forks, grabs the both of them, and yanks them to Arrowhead Lake. May is <em>furious</em>, and True Name caught in the middle of panic attack. She susses out that Jonas just tried to assassinate her.</p>
<h2 id="part-2-conflict">Part 2 &mdash; Conflict</h2>
<h2 id="part-3-apprehension">Part 3 &mdash; Apprehension</h2>
<h2 id="part-4-reconciliation">Part 4 &mdash; Reconciliation</h2>
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