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Madison Scott-Clary 2022-05-07 10:00:27 -07:00
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<h1 id="ioan-balan-2350">Ioan Bălan &mdash; 2350</h1>
<p>Of all that had happened over the past several weeks, Ioan was surprised to find that it had taken until now for literally anything to feel like it had been planned. Clearly none of them had planned on Jonas coming after True Name, but all of the decisions that had been made after that had been made on the spot, snap decisions that had led to True Name moving into their house, to End Waking merging down, to the three of them all overflowing at once.</p>
<p>All of those had been made what felt like intolerable pressure, and it was only now that they had time enough to relax. There was an uneasy (and certainly temporary) stalemate <!--better word--> between Jonas and True Name that gave them enough time to properly consider a decision instead of feeling compelled to make it right away.</p>
<p>Ey&rsquo;d harbored a concern that May, one borne out of stress, might just merge down without talking further, but ey kept that to emself, doing eir level best to reason emself out of it. The last thing they needed at the moment was further doubt within their relationship.</p>
<p>Ey&rsquo;d harbored a concern, one borne out of stress, that May might just merge down without talking further, but ey kept that to emself, doing eir level best to reason emself out of it. The last thing they needed at the moment was further doubt within their relationship.</p>
<p>And she certainly didn&rsquo;t. In fact, she drew the negotiations that followed that first discussion out by nearly a week, putting lie to that concern. Much of these discussions took place between the two skunks as they walked out on True Name&rsquo;s prairie.</p>
<p>At first, ey&rsquo;d felt left out. After all, didn&rsquo;t ey also have boundaries to negotiate and concerns that needed addressing?</p>
<p>After bringing this up with May, however, she had laughed and poked em in the belly, explaining, &ldquo;I do not mean to leave you out of anything, my dear. We are discussing elements of the past that kept me from merging down, and elements of the future of the relationship between us. You are not missing anything so important, but if you would like, I am happy to keep you apprised of the general content.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;Given how anxious I&rsquo;ve been, I&rsquo;d appreciate that,&rdquo; ey had said. &ldquo;But no need to share anything private.&rdquo;</p>
<p>And so now ey got updates on the conversations with sensitive or personal information redacted.</p>
<p>They spent much of their time discussing various parts of May&rsquo;s life and how comfortable she&rsquo;d feel sharing those through a merge, and if not, why not. They also talked with End Waking several times, the third skunk of the stanza coming out to visit her prairie so that they could discuss the ramifications of their merge and how to be more thoughtful with May&rsquo;s.</p>
<p>They spent much of their time discussing various parts of May&rsquo;s life and how comfortable she&rsquo;d feel sharing those through a merge, and if not, why not. Surprisingly, they also talked with End Waking several times, the third skunk of the stanza coming out to visit her prairie so that they could discuss the ramifications of their merge and how to be more thoughtful with May&rsquo;s.</p>
<p>This wasn&rsquo;t to say that ey didn&rsquo;t have a chance to sit with them at times and discuss eir thoughts on the matter, of course.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Feelings are complex, Ioan,&rdquo; True Name explained as they sat around a low fire before her tent. &ldquo;If they are created by memories, then there is little that I can do to completely control how I might feel about something beyond picking and choosing the memories carefully. However, one can never be sure what memories may lead to which feelings. If they come from something more intrinsic to one&rsquo;s personality and thought patterns, then it is even more difficult to attempt to control them.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Ey nodded. &ldquo;That much I can certainly understand. I trust the idea that you&rsquo;ll be a synthesis of your various histories rather than simply May&rsquo;s feelings tacked onto you.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;Yes. I cannot predict how I will feel about you after this. Your relationship and existing boundaries will take precedence over whatever happens, though. I will respect that.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I have been wondering how your feelings toward Debarre have shifted,&rdquo; End Waking said.</p>
<p>&ldquo;It is complex, not least of which because I accepted the whole of your merge so blithely. I will not be doing the same with May Then My Name&rsquo;s.&rdquo;</p>
<p>He frowned.</p>
<p>&ldquo;I am sorry,&rdquo; True Name said, shrugging helplessly. &ldquo;There is little that I could have done in the moment to avoid it, and there is certainly nothing that I can do now to fix it.&rdquo;</p>
<p>May dipped her muzzle and apologized as well, saying, &ldquo;I do feel bad about how that worked out, no matter how much you tell me it is okay.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;It is not okay,&rdquo; End Waking said, then hastened to add when his cocladist flinched away, &ldquo;It is what we have to work with, and it is perhaps what the times called for.&rdquo;</p>
<p>May nodded.</p>
<p>((Maybe a bit more))</p>
<p>Finally, though, a week to the day after the topic had first come up, Ioan awoke to find May and True Name already sitting at the table, speaking earnestly in a cone of silence. Once they noticed em, True Name waved it away and May grinned, saying, &ldquo;Sorry, my dear. We did not want to wake you.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Ey poured emself a cup of coffee before joining them. &ldquo;Appreciate it. Hope I&rsquo;m not interrupting.&rdquo;</p>
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<p>&hellip;</p>
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