diff --git a/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/launch/Codrin-castor/007.html b/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/launch/Codrin-castor/007.html index c20166b81..96af21410 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/launch/Codrin-castor/007.html +++ b/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/launch/Codrin-castor/007.html @@ -13,27 +13,27 @@

Codrin Bălan#Castor — 2325

-

Codrin Bălan was more nervous about an interview than ey’d ever been yet. It’s not that ey hadn’t been anxious about talking with True Name previously — ey certainly had, given the warning that Dear had left em with — but in the intervening weeks, ey had talked with No Jonas, and the news from both Codrin#Pollux and Ioan about the intervening wealth of knowledge that the Bălan clade and their Odist associates had gathered.

+

Codrin Bălan was more nervous about this interview than ey’d ever been about one before. It’s not that ey hadn’t been anxious about talking with True Name previously — ey certainly had, given the warning that Dear had left em with — but in the intervening weeks, ey had had eir conversations with with No Jonas and read the news from both Codrin#Pollux and Ioan about the wealth of knowledge that the Bălan clade and their Odist associates had gathered.

Dear gave no warning this time. It simply stood in the door of Codrin’s office, looking some mixture between sad and frightened, and bowed its head when ey gave it a goodbye kiss atop the snout. Ey left a fork in eir office to sit and not think of anything while ey painted terribly, the better to reduce merge conflicts down the line, and then headed back to the sim where first ey had met True Name.

-

She was not smiling this time. She didn’t look serious, per se, just confident, competent, almost amused, but she was not smiling.

-

“Are you ready for our interview, Mx Codrin Bălan?”

+

She was not smiling this time. She didn’t look serious, just confident, competent, almost amused, but she was not smiling.

+

“Are you ready for our interview, Mx. Codrin Bălan?”

Ey nodded, said, “As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”

“Excellent.” She gestured em down to the office where first they’d met. There were no formalities. No shaking of hands, pleasant banter about which chair to use. The skunk simply sat in her chair at her desk across from em and waited.

-

The desk was clean now. All of the notepads and pens had been cleared away, and ey wondered if what it had looked like before was, as all three interviewers were now learning, simply a means of shaping eir expectations and impressions. Did she even take notes with a pen and paper? Did she even need to? The desk, then, became a barrier between the two, a pedestal on which True Name sat and, though she was shorter than the historian, looked down on em with a singular attention. This, too, was a means of shaping their interactions for as long as they spoke.

+

The desk was clean now. All of the notepads and pens had been cleared away, and ey wondered if what it had looked like before was, as all three interviewers were now learning, simply a means of shaping eir expectations and impressions. Did she even take notes with a pen and paper? Did she even need to? The desk, then, had become a barrier between the two, a pedestal on which True Name sat and, though she was shorter than the historian, looked down on em with a singular attention. This, too, was a means of shaping their interactions for as long as they spoke.

“Alright,” Codrin began, stepping up to this challenge as best ey could, drawing on all eir meager reserves of boldness to adopt the competent appearance of one who ought to be here as much as True Name. “Thank you once more for having me over and allowing me to interview you. Before I get started, is there anything that you’d like to say?”

“Yes,” she said, nodding. “I would like to begin by preempting what I suspect are many of your questions so as to keep our discussions better focused. Through the various channels available to the Ode and Jonas clades, we know the list of individuals that you have so far interviewed, and much of the content of your interviews. We know that the Bălan clade has learned much of what transpired during Secession and leading up to Launch, as well as some of what has transpired during the intervening centuries.”

Codrin hesitated, pen nib resting on paper, a dark blue spot of ink spreading slowly through the fibers.

“With that in mind, what questions would you like to ask?” True Name’s mien lost much of its amused sheen, and she was left looking truly serious now.

“Why?” The word was almost forced from em, let out in a rush as though ey had been struck or perhaps wanted to ask before ey lost all courage.

-

“That is the correct question,” she said. “Jonas and I have discussed via the elements which remain on the System how each of us should answer this question, figuring that both Codrins would ask much the same. Your cocladist will receive an answer pertaining to the big picture reasoning for the long term goals, which surround the stability and continuity of the System. I will be discussing the same picture surrounding the raison d’etre of the System.

-

“During the period of Secession, we began to see the utility for the System as something beyond a curiosity, something beyond a mere means of immortality as many at the time had understood it. The System, in our eyes allowed for a more perfect form of humanity. Those who remain phys-side are better thought of as a larval form of the species, now. They live, they love, they laugh, yes, but they do so in a way that is a shadow of what they could do, sys-side.

-

“What we did, the way we thought and the actions we took, were borne out of some core anger from the shortcomings of the political system that led to the loss of our friends, of the owner of the Name and of Debarre’s partner and of so many others affected by the mere whims of an imperfect attempt to control the world around them. It did not matter why the Western Fed government decided to destroy those lives; what bill they voted or commented on does not matter. Was it a declaration of hostilities? A trade embargo? Who cares.

+

“That is the correct question,” she said. “Jonas and I have discussed how each of us should answer this question, figuring that both Codrins would ask much the same. Your cocladist will receive an answer pertaining to the big picture reasoning for the long term goals, which surround the stability and continuity of the System. I will be discussing the same picture surrounding the raison d’etre of the System.

+

“During the period of Secession, we began to see the utility for the System as something beyond a curiosity, something beyond a mere means of immortality as many at the time had understood it. The System, in our eyes allowed for a more perfect form of humanity. It is a place where an individual can truly flourish, where groups can experience true independence, where all of our imperfections can shine through and make us more what we are than we were before. Those who remain phys-side are better thought of as a larval form of the species, now. They live, they love, they laugh, yes, but they do so in a way that is a shadow of what they could do, sys-side.

+

“What we did, the way we thought and the actions we took, were borne out of some core anger at the shortcomings of the political system that led to the loss of our friends, of the owner of the Name and of Debarre’s partner and of so many others affected by the mere whims of an imperfect attempt to control the world around them. It did not matter why the Western Fed government decided to destroy those lives; what bill they voted or commented on does not matter. Was it a declaration of hostilities? A trade embargo? Who cares?

“What matters is that their actions spoke of an utter disregard for the very humanity of those affected. This was echoed in the referendum to which Secession was merely an amendment, that they had to even consider the fact that we sys-side deserved the individual rights granted those phys-side, the same rights that they held in such flagrant disregard.”

-

She nodded toward em. “You have this humanity. I have this humanity. Jonas has this humanity. You may not like us. You may think us manipulative and angry, or perhaps emotionless and cruel. You may think us villainous. It does not matter. What we have done, we have done to protect your humanity. What we have done, we have done to protect the humanity of all here on the System. What we have done, we have done to protect the humanity of those phys-side, but you must understand, Codrin, that that humanity which requires the strictures of government is one less perfect than ours, and so we guide them to their logical conclusions.”

-

“But why?” ey asked again, voice quavering. In fear, in anger, ey couldn’t tell. “Why would you do that? Even if you’re right, that those who upload are somehow more perfect versions of those who don’t or haven’t yet, why would you guide them here? You don’t sound like some psychotic villain who wants to bring humanity under their wing out of some misguided, high-minded ideals. You sound like a psychopath.”

+

She nodded toward em. “You have this humanity. I have this humanity. Jonas has this humanity. You may not like us. You may think us manipulative and angry, or perhaps emotionless and cruel. You may think us villainous. It does not matter. What we have done, we have done to protect your humanity. What we have done, we have done to protect even the humanity of all here on the System. What we have done, we have done to protect the humanity of those phys-side, but you must understand, Codrin, that the humanity which requires the strictures of government is one less perfect than ours, and so we guide them to their logical conclusions.”

+

“But why?” ey asked again, voice quavering. In fear, in anger, ey couldn’t tell. “Why would you do that? Even if you’re right, that those who upload are somehow more perfect versions of those who don’t or haven’t yet, why would you guide them here? What does that even buy you? You don’t sound like some psychotic villain who wants to bring humanity under their wing out of some misguided, high-minded ideals. You sound like a psychopath.”

True Name laughed. It was a musical laugh, replete with tones of real amusement and genuine pity. A fantastically toothy laugh, and those teeth were sharp. “There is nothing I can say that will convince you that I am earnest in these endeavors, Codrin. You know that. You know that you have already made up your mind.”

Ey frowned. “Enlighten me.”

-

“As you wish.” She grinned, leaning back on her stool. “You are correct that I do not wish to bring humanity under my wing. What purpose would that serve? You have learned that the System is truly ungovernable, so how could I or the Jonas clade hope to govern it? No, we do not want to rule. You may be correct that we are psychopaths, or at least that I am. I do not think that you need worry about your Dear or Ioan’s May Then My Name. Humanity has simply evolved toward an inevitable two-stage life cycle. That of the fleshy pupae that do not know what it means to be a butterfly, and those butterflies that recognize the freedom of the air.”

+

“As you wish.” She grinned, leaning back on her stool. “You are correct that I do not wish to bring humanity under my wing. What purpose would that serve? You have either learned or intuited, as all do, that the System is truly ungovernable, so how could I or the Jonas clade hope to govern it? No, we do not want to rule. You may be correct that we are psychopaths — or at least that I am, I do not think that you need worry about your Dear or Ioan’s May Then My Name. Humanity has simply evolved toward an inevitable two-stage life cycle. That of the fleshy pupae that do not know what it means to be a butterfly, and those butterflies that recognize the freedom of the air.”

Codrin recapped eir pen, tucked it into eir pocket, and closed eir notebook. “That’s one of those statements that makes sense on the surface until you think about it hard enough.”

“Oh? How do you figure?” she asked, still grinning.

“You know who we interviewed. Did you know that Ioan interviewed those who uploaded strictly for the cash payout for their families?”

@@ -41,14 +41,14 @@

“Do you know the contents of those interviews?”

“No. We are not reading your notes, we are simply keeping tabs on the project.”

“Much of what ey learned,” ey said. “Indicated that many of those who upload, even if it’s only those who upload for that reason, hold more than just a cynical view of the System. They recognize that it is a tool that their governments hold over them and perhaps recognize that those governments are tools of the System in turn, even if only on some subconscious level. If they’re your pupae, they know the terrors of being a butterfly caught in a net.”

-

“And Jonas Prime told Ioan about the cost-benefit analyses inherent in all that we do,” True Name countered. “Some small fraction may be aware of the actions that we have taken, but in the grand scheme of things, we are simply setting up and maintaining the progression for all, removing them from lives that require such manipulations to somewhere where those manipulations are not possible. The same applies to your project, as I’m sure you have heard. It passes the same measure as insignificant in the grand scheme of things.”

-

Codrin pushed emself quickly to eir feet and leaned eir hands against the desktop. “How fucking cynical do you have to be to wind up in this mindset? I’ve met so many of your clade, and none of them have their heads so deep up their asses as you do. I can’t believe–“

+

“And Jonas Prime told Ioan about the cost-benefit analyses inherent in all that we do,” True Name countered. “Some small fraction may be aware of and unhappy withthe actions that we have taken, but in the grand scheme of things, we are simply setting up and maintaining the progression for all, removing them from lives that require such manipulations to somewhere where those manipulations are not just unneeded, but are not possible. The same applies to your project, as I’m sure you have heard. It passes the same measure as insignificant in the grand scheme of things.”

+

The skunk’s words, however calm they might have seemed, battered and buffeted em. They smashed up against eir emotions and base instincts, scuffing away carefully-maintained control until the fear and anger shone through bright and hot. Codrin pushed emself quickly to eir feet and leaned eir hands against the desktop. “How fucking cynical do you have to be to wind up in this mindset? I’ve met so many of your clade, and none of them have their heads so deep up their asses as you do. I can’t believe–“

Throughout eir rant True Name’s smile grew icy, and before ey could finish, she waved eir hand, bouncing em from her sim.

-

Ey found emself standing at the entrance to the prairie, there on that short path that wound its way up to the house, to eir home. Before eir feet sat a slip of paper. Reaching down to pick it up, ey unfolded it and read in the Odists’ neat handwriting, “Come back when you are less angry, Codrin. You have your confirmation, and when you have digested it, we will discuss what will happen next. Respectfully, The Only Time I Know My True Name Is When I Dream of the Ode clade.”

+

Ey found emself standing at the entrance to the prairie, there on that short path that wound its way up to the house, to eir home. A few seconds later, a slip of paper fluttered to the ground in front of em. Reaching down to pick it up, ey unfolded it and read in the Odists’ neat handwriting, “Come back when you are less angry, Codrin. You have your confirmation, and when you have digested it, we will discuss what will happen next. Respectfully, The Only Time I Know My True Name Is When I Dream of the Ode clade.”

Ey let out a primal scream, a noise ey did not know that ey could even make, and then quit, letting the Codrin who still sat painting after so short an interview deal with eir memories. Ey was done.