update from sparkleup
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Madison Scott-Clary
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<h1 id="codrin-balan-2346">Codrin Balan — 2346</h1>
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<p>Codrin found emself in possession of a blissful two days of peace after that sudden pile-on of news. He acknowledged a request from True Name to act as amanuensis with a faintness of heart that ey hoped the skunk did not notice, and then went back to spending the rest of eir day napping, catching up on a writing project ey had been poking at, shoving Dear around for fun, and watching the fox rehearse its next performance with its partner. This one was to be a ballroom dance where everyone invited would dance with instances of Dear, which would begin disappearing one by one while the rest grew steadily more anxious, as though worrying that they would be next.</p>
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<p>It was all very Dear, and Codrin enjoyed the idea immensely.</p>
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<p>It was comforting, in a way, to sit on the couch and watch eir partners dance, stumble, laugh, start dancing again, all while this big project loomed outside. It was there, ey knew. It was hovering outside like a storm rolling inexorably over the prairie, ready to lash the sides of the house with bands of rain and rattle the glass with peals of thunder.</p>
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<p>But for now, ey was safe inside, laying in supplies, even if they were simply emotional and intellectual reserves for what ey knew would be a taxing endeavor.</p>
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<p>The only conversation ey’d allowed about the entire affair came at night, when the three of them had piled into bed, each in their familiar order but pressed now up against each other, perhaps drawing comfort against the onrushing storm.</p>
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<p>“How’s it going to feel working alongside True Name instead of against her?” Dear’s partner asked, voice muffled by a pillow as the fox kneaded at their shoulders.</p>
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<p>Codrin replied, voice equally muffled against the back of Dear’s neck, “I don’t know if I was working against her, necessarily. It felt like it at the time, but now it just feels like we were both doing our jobs.”</p>
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<p>“You just hated hers.”</p>
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<p>Ey laughed against Dear’s neck, which got a giggle out of the fox in turn. “I guess. It’s hard to hate entirely because good things came of it, but also you can’t say for sure that the same thing would’ve happened if she hadn’t been there. Her, Jonas, the lot of them, they were all helpful in bringing about Secession and Launch how they happened, but who knows? Maybe they would’ve happened regardless, just with different people at the helm.”</p>
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<p>There was a long moment of silence, broken only but the occasional noise of contentment from Dear’s partner as the fox continued in its back rub. Codrin spent the time plastering those thoughts over with better ones. Ey thought about how the fox smelled, how its fur felt against eir face. Ey thought about how, once, ey’d wound up between eir two partners in much the same position and it had led to an overwhelming wave of anxiety, a sense that things were wrong, a feeling that ey needed to escape, and how they’d comforted em and then simply fallen back into the habit of laying like this, instead. The fox seemed to draw a sense of security, sandwiched between them, just as Codrin did by having no one at eir back.</p>
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<p><em>“Did you hate her?”</em> Dear said, breaking the silence and eir rumination. It had stopped in its massage and settled for a simple hug instead. <em>“Do you still”</em></p>
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<p>Ey hooked eir chin over the fox’s shoulder, humming thoughtfully. “Maybe, in a way. I thought I did at the time. I thought I hated that she was part of the hidden level of control that everyone suspects but no one can prove. All she needed was a black suit, black sunglasses, and an earpiece.”</p>
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<p>Dear and its partner laughed.</p>
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<p>“Now, though, I think resentment is a more accurate word than hate. I resent the feeling of being controlled with no recourse. She may have the brainpower and manpower and analytical skills to read everyone as thoroughly as she did, but I resent how cold she was in actually doing so. I don’t dislike the System as it stands after her and Jonas’s manipulation, but I resent the cynicism it took to get here. I don’t resent being here, but I do resent the phys-side manipulations that led to me being here.”</p>
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<p>After yawning, Dear’s partner asked, “Think you’ll be alright working beside her while you resent her?”</p>
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<p>“If it was just me, no,” ey said. “If that cynicism is directed at the Artemisians and Tycho and whoever else, rather than just at me, It’ll be fine, I think.”</p>
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<p><em>“Besides,”</em> Dear said. <em>“You will still get to see great things, my dear. You may be tired, yes, but out of however many billion people on board, you will get to see great things.”</em></p>
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<p>Meets Sarah Genet to talk about joining the amanuensis team, talk about what that would even look like, decide nice to have a total nobody Odists don’t know/care about, laughs that this is the most organized project yet</p>
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