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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2022-10-31 22:30:14 -07:00
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writing/post-self/selected-letters/016.html
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<p>So, overall impressions: I&rsquo;m feeling much more comfortable with the way we&rsquo;re each moving on. They&rsquo;re building up a life that they&rsquo;re getting to move forward and build for themselves, while we&rsquo;ve been shocked into realizing all it is that we need to do to feel better and be more active in our own relationship rather than letting things stagnate.</p>
<p>It hurt, and it still occasionally feels bad, and I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;ll ever quite stop, but I also think that, yeah, it might have actually been for the best.</p>
<p>So I guess I have some questions that I&rsquo;m left with that are probably more for May Then My Name than Ioan.</p>
<p>I&rsquo;m not sure how much ey&rsquo;s talked about my current situation, but it&rsquo;s come up before that this is the first time we&rsquo;ve really had to deal with a loss like this as Bălans, other than perhaps leaving our brother behind when we uploaded.[^compartmentalized] </p>
<p>I&rsquo;m not sure how much ey&rsquo;s talked about my current situation, but it&rsquo;s come up before that this is the first time we&rsquo;ve really had to deal with a loss like this as Bălans, other than perhaps leaving our brother behind when we uploaded.<sup id="fnref:compartmentalized"><a class="footnote-ref" href="#fn:compartmentalized">1</a></sup> </p>
<p>I hear it talked about as a cliche that the best outcome of a break-up is to remain friends, and I&rsquo;m feeling pretty good about the direction we&rsquo;re headed there. It feels almost like a sign of maturity, I suppose, as opposed to something more acrimonious, but I don&rsquo;t know how true that is.</p>
<p>I know that you&rsquo;ve had far more experience with relationships that any of us have. What have you found to be the best way to communicate with ex-partners after the relationship ends? Do you think we&rsquo;re on a good track? I know that every relationship is going to be different, but you&rsquo;ve had a chance to spend some time with us (several decades back, granted). Are there any suggestions you have for ways to make this&hellip;I don&rsquo;t know, productive for us? Make it something we can take good things away from, too?</p>
<p>On that note, do you have any thoughts in general on relationships and change? Forty-odd years of a relationship feels like a long time, but then I realize just how old we all are, and maybe it isn&rsquo;t? But then again, the passage of time itself doesn&rsquo;t change just because we live longer, does it?</p>
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<p>Something we compartmentalized right away and, it seems, have only just now started to process. It&rsquo;ll probably be a good thing, overall.&#160;<a class="footnote-backref" href="#fnref:compartmentallized" title="Jump back to footnote 1 in the text">&#8617;</a></p>
<li id="fn:compartmentalized">
<p>Something we compartmentalized right away and, it seems, have only just now started to process. It&rsquo;ll probably be a good thing, overall.&#160;<a class="footnote-backref" href="#fnref:compartmentalized" title="Jump back to footnote 1 in the text">&#8617;</a></p>
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