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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2021-09-25 15:50:18 -07:00
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writing/post-self/toledot/launch/launch/Codrin-pollux/001.html
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@ -61,8 +61,8 @@ Systime (relative to Pollux LV): 200+22 1014</p>
<p><strong>Dear:</strong> I have changed my mind, but Codrin, I love you dearly, but fuck you for making me cry.</p>
<p><strong>Codrin:</strong> I&rsquo;m sorry, Dear. Do you want to stop?</p>
<p><strong>Dear:</strong> No, no. That is my choice usage of &lsquo;fuck&rsquo; for the interview. [laughter, short break in interview] Okay. Early on in the system, some wag, when pressed to bring along books, uploaded every single book they could get their hands on, legally or otherwise, into the perisystem architecture, going all the way back to the Epic of Gilgamesh, if not earlier. When I was forked and still trying to figure out ways to play with instances, I went on a tear of reading biographical works, going through dozens of books at a time, hunting for little moments that could be used, somehow, in an exhibition.</p>
<p><strong>Dear:</strong> I came across a book of essays from goodness knows how long ago, and I was so taken aback by one part in particular that I snipped it out and stored it in an exo. Ah, let me find the correct part [pause] Okay. &ldquo;Should you happen to be possessed of a certain verbal acuity coupled with a relentless, hair-trigger humor and surface cheer spackling over a chronic melancholia and loneliness - a grotesquely caricatured version of your deepest self, which you trot out at the slightest provocation to endearing and glib comic effect, thus rendering you the kind of fellow who is beloved by all yet loved by none, all of it to distract, however fleetingly, from the cold and dead-faced truth that with each passing year you face the unavoidable certainty of a solitary future in which you will perish one day&rdquo;.</p>
<p><strong>Dear:</strong> I suppose I worry sometimes that, as a public personality, first as Michelle Hadje and now as an artist with an ebullient personality and the aforementioned &ldquo;verbal acuity coupled with a relentless, hair-trigger humor and surface cheer&rsquo; et cetera, et cetera, that I&hellip; [pause] Okay. [pause] Okay. I sometimes worry that I, as those things, fall into the category of &ldquo;beloved by all yet loved by none&rdquo;.</p>
<p><strong>Dear:</strong> I came across a book of essays from goodness knows how long ago, and I was so taken aback by one part in particular that I snipped it out and stored it in an exo. Ah, let me find the correct part [pause] Okay. &ldquo;Should you happen to be possessed of a certain verbal acuity coupled with a relentless, hair-trigger humor and surface cheer spackling over a chronic melancholia and loneliness ---- a grotesquely caricatured version of your deepest self, which you trot out at the slightest provocation to endearing and glib comic effect, thus rendering you the kind of fellow who is beloved by all yet loved by none, all of it to distract, however fleetingly, from the cold and dead-faced truth that with each passing year you face the unavoidable certainty of a solitary future in which you will perish one day&rdquo;.</p>
<p><strong>Dear:</strong> I suppose I worry sometimes that, as a public personality, first as Michelle Hadje, then as an Odist, and now as an artist with an ebullient personality and the aforementioned &ldquo;verbal acuity coupled with a relentless, hair-trigger humor and surface cheer&rdquo; <em>et cetera, et cetera,</em> that I&hellip; [pause] Okay. [pause] Okay. I sometimes worry that I, as those things, fall into the category of &ldquo;beloved by all yet loved by none&rdquo;.</p>
<p><strong>Codrin:</strong> <em>I</em> love you, Dear.</p>
<p><strong>Dear:</strong> [waving paw, tears] This was not supposed to be the personal part of the interview. Codrin, Ioan, please just say that I want someone to miss me, that I want to haunt the L<sub>5</sub> system as some quiet ghost who communicates in words from light-years away and memories that you will never forget. I want to haunt you because that is one thing I cannot do without merging into oblivion. I want to be missed.</p>
<p><strong>Codrin:</strong> Perhaps here is a good place to stop.</p>
@ -74,7 +74,7 @@ Systime (relative to Pollux LV): 200+22 1014</p>
<p><strong>Codrin:</strong> Dear, I&ndash;</p>
<p><strong>Dear:</strong> I am sorry, my dear. I should have prefaced that. I want to die eventually. I do not want to quit, I do not want to be killed. But you must understand, by the whims of gravity, both Castor and Pollux will eventually be captured by a sun or a black hole or whatever the fuck is out there, and they will be destroyed. And even if not, the power source will die, or the factories will not be able to manufacture replacements or some other technobabble bullshit. There is no suicide in me, nor any desire to be murdered, but I want to experience&ndash; Ah, Codrin, I am sorry. I love you. I am so sorry. I will stop.</p>
<p><strong>Codrin:</strong> Let&rsquo;s go inside, please.</p>
<p><strong>Transcript ends</strong></p>
<p><strong>Transcript ends, no closing remarks</strong></p>
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<p>Page generated on 2021-09-25</p>