update from sparkleup
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<p>“I’m sorry, Reed,” Hanne said once we returned home. Her voice was raw. It was painful to hear the pain within it. “I just…”</p>
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<p>I nodded and roped her into a hug, letting her rest her head on my shoulder as I did the same on hers. “I know. I’m going through the same with Marsh. Or similar, at least. Hearing the way Dry Grass talked about it, it’s hard not to just assume that they’re just gone. ‘Dead’, she said, and as much as I hate it, she was right that not assuming that will just lead to more pain.”</p>
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<p>I felt her hands tighten against my back, clutching at the fabric there. “Warmth In Fire said similar, both of Shu and Should We Forget,” she mumbled hoarsely. “Ey’s having a harder time than I am, but in a different way.”</p>
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<p>((Ask Warmth what this looks like))</p>
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<p>((Warmth 1))
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“How do you mean?”</p>
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<p>I felt her shrug slightly against my cheek as she spoke. “I guess ey was particularly close Should We Forget, one of the Odists that disappeared. It said that she’d never forked, that she was from a part of the clade that struggled with mental health and something about trouble holding one shape. They’re particularly upset at how hard Should We Forget worked to overcome all of those problems, and said how proud ey was that she had overcome a ton of losses and then disappeared without ceremony.”</p>
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<p>I nodded, quiet.</p>
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<p>“Anyway, I don’t know. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen it that emotional before. Ey was just…crushed.” She sighed. “And I am too, I guess, but maybe I’m just not old enough to have gotten that close to Shu. I guess I can’t say much more other than it hurt to listen to them talk like that.”</p>
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<p>“Well, alright,” I said after a moment’s silence, gently disentangling myself from the embrace. “Let’s at least focus on something else for a bit. What sorts of things can we take care of from start to finish that have nothing to do with…all this.”</p>
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<p>She laughed. “‘All this’ is a hell of a way to put it.” She shook her head as though to dislodge the thought. “But you’re right. Uh…well, I’ve had too much coffee, I think. It’s a bit early, but maybe we can make a drink or something? I also wouldn’t mind inviting some others over just for some noise, otherwise I’m going to sit and stew up in my head.”</p>
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<p>“What, am I not enough to distract you from that?”</p>
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@ -58,12 +62,14 @@
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<p>So it was that we cycled the weather outside to a comfortable spring-time evening, set up a table with various small foods and a few different bottles of wine, and waited for everyone to trickle in.</p>
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<p>Cress and Tule were the first to arrive, Dry Grass appearing between them a few seconds later, still wearing her witch’s hat, which she quickly waved away. All three of them looked exhausted, but brightened visibly at the spread laid out for all to snack on, quickly loading up plates of bruschetta and glasses of icy rosé.</p>
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<p>The next to arrive were Warmth In Fire and Jess, both of whom launched themselves at Hanne to wrap her up in a hug. Hold My Name, Warmth In Fire’s partner, arrived a few seconds later.</p>
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<p>((Warmth stuff here))</p>
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<p>((Warmth stuff here))
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I’d met Jess a few times before at dinner parties or the like, and she definitely shared Hanne and I’s habit of snarky banter, and was just as prone to falling into witty repartee as we were.</p>
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<p>For some reason, though, I’d yet to actually meet Warmth In Fire. Despite Dry Grass’s average height and soft build, Warmth in fire was short and wiry. Where Dry Grass was comfortable to move through life at a steady pace with measured speech, the skunk was spunky and energetic, speaking quickly and smiling readily, quick to hug — I received my own after Hanne — and quicker still to fork to accomplish such affection. They seemed to live in a pleasant sort of transgression, from the constantly shifting pronouns to the almost childlike performance that nonetheless seemed to be performed with a wink and a nudge, as though ey knew just how subversive such kid-like vibes could be.</p>
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<p>Hold My Name, in contrast, stood tall and confident. She leaned more on Dry Grass’s steady nature, though seemed perfectly content to keep up with Warmth In Fire’s speedy intensity, at one point scruffing an instance of the skunk to pull it into a bearhug. She was also visibly and effortlessly transfeminine in a way that I attempted to live into in my own trans identity. I liked her immediately.</p>
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<p>Last of all, nearly an hour after we started, most of us a few drinks in, Lily stepped in. She moved stiffly, awkwardly, and only nodded a greeting, wordlessly picking out a few of the <em>hors d’oeuvres</em> and pouring herself an over-full glass of a sweet wine.</p>
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<p>Her silence put a damper on the rest of the conversations, all of us speaking quieter, eventually falling into silence as she sat down at the table.</p>
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<p>A few seconds passed before she smirked and shook her head. “Well? Come on, entertain me.”</p>
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<p>I breathed a pent-up sigh of relief at the chuckles from around the table.</p>
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<p>((Warmth does a thing?))</p>
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<p>“I will tell you a joke, as a way to break the ice,” Dry Grass said.</p>
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<p>Lily laughed, though it sounded somewhat forced. “Alright. I want to hear what counts as a joke to your clade.”</p>
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<p>Dry Grass bowed. “I assure you, it is appropriately atrocious. It comes straight from Waking World, who has set himself up as a father figure, complete with dad jokes.”</p>
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@ -96,8 +102,8 @@
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<p>She shrugged, turning her glass of water between fingers. “I slowly calmed down, but that anger hit again after I learned about all of the shit the eighth stanza did, all of that controlling. There were even hints that Michelle had been nudged to quit by True Name, who I’d already suspected of being behind Qoheleth’s assassination. Now I had a target for that anger.”</p>
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<p>I glanced surreptitiously at Lily, who was keeping herself still, tightly under control.</p>
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<p>Another glance at Dry Grass showed her watching Lily warily in turn.</p>
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<p>Then the moment of tension passed, as Warmth In Fire spoke up next.</p>
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<p>((Warmth stuff))</p>
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<p>((Warmth stuff))
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Then the moment of tension passed uneasily, as Warmth In Fire spoke up next. “I will say as I always do, my dear: your anger is </p>
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<p>“I know that it is quite soon, and that there may yet be some solution,” Dry Grass said gently, nodding to Lily. “But what are your feelings on potentially being without a root instance?”</p>
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<p>Lily shrugged awkwardly. “I don’t know yet. I’m still dealing with the stress of everything. That’s a big part of why I wanted to come here in the first place. I was feeling left out and lonely.”</p>
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<p>We all nodded, and I reached out to pat the back of her hand.</p>
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@ -123,7 +129,7 @@ It snapped eir teeth at her, grinning wickedly.</p>
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<hr />
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</article>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2023-11-11</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2023-11-14</p>
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</footer>
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</main>
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