update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/qoheleth/Carter/011.html

@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@
 <p>She lay down and delved in.</p>
 <p>Blackness. A black that hurt the eyes. A black so bright that it drew forth tears.</p>
 <p>And then, a slow softening. A raising up from the impossible black to something merely pitch, and then from there through <em>Eigengrau</em> to grey.</p>
-<p>This was not how it was supposed to go. The mirror rig was not connected to the 'net, it was a self-contained sim holding a simple demo room. A room with malleable ACLs that could be manipulated by student and instructor both. A room for learning.</p>
+<p>This was not how it was supposed to go. The mirror rig was not connected to the 'net by default, it was a self-contained sim holding a simple demo room. A room with malleable ACLs that could be manipulated by student and instructor both. A room for learning.</p>
 <p>This was not a room. This was not a space. This was not being.</p>
 <p>Carter tried to cry out, to move, but no muscle would respond to her commands.</p>
 <p>And yet, the instructor could control the student, right? It took several attempts, but she was eventually able to will a menu into existence. Thankfully the ACLs for that were tied to the contacts rather than to an account, for there, at the bottom of the menu, was a 'shared controls' option.</p>
@@ -51,10 +51,41 @@
 <p>Ey felt a veil being lifted, being torn, being tugged at/she pressed against that veil between them, searching for soft spots, for weak spots, for ways in. Their breathing came in coarse gasps.</p>
 <p>"RJ, b-breathe. Keep breathing," RJ/Carter stammered. The veil began to tear. "We're connected using a mirror rig. D-do you remember learning to use your implants with one?"</p>
 <p>Paws tore at grass, though no longer with panic but with anger/frustration. This was unconscionable/taking too long.</p>
-<!-- there was something cool I was going to put here that both would say but it would mean different things coming from each of them. -->
+<p>Ey didn't have time for this/she didn't have time for this.</p>
+<!-- there was something cool I was going to put here that both would say but it would mean different things coming from each of them. I think that was it, but am not sure. I'll leave this in until I'm sure. -->
 
 <p>The veil tore. "RJ, I'm going to stop mirroring. Please don't. Please leave me RJ we don't have much time and please leave me alone RJ, Caitlin and Johansson are here."</p>
-<p>And then the veil disappeared and Carter swiped from mirroring to coexisting, and sat on the ground by the weeping fox.</p>
+<p>And then the veil disappeared and Carter swiped from mirroring to coexisting, and sat on the ground by the weeping fox. "RJ...AwDae. I shouldn't be here. At the UMC, I mean. We don't have too much time. The police are outside and arguing with Johansson. Can you feel for the exit?"</p>
+<p>AwDae's fingers dug into the earth, clutched at the roots of the grass. Ey hesitated there, perhaps considering trying to tear up the whole tussock, before sitting up once again, cheekfur stained with streaks of tears. Ey would not look at Carter, and instead looked out toward the mountains.</p>
+<p>There was a moment of vertigo as the mountains fell away, the pond rose, and the scene shifted from the curated wilderness into that of a simple flat. Water became hardwood flooring before Carter got wet. Bench became bed. Trees became walls. The sound of the stalks of grass phase-shifted into a quiet purr.</p>
+<p>Carter was kneeling on a rumpled bed next to a sobbing fox while a long-haired cat traipsed across her lap to go stand on AwDae's. The fox lifted a paw to stroke through the cat's fur.</p>
+<p>"Since then --- tis centuries --- and yet feels shorter than the day," ey said between gasps. "I first surmised the horses heads were towards eternity."</p>
+<p>"AwDae?"</p>
+<p>"Emily Dickinson." Eir laugh was choked. "I am at a loss for images in this end of days: I have sight but cannot see. I build my castle out of words; I cannot stop myself from speaking. And could never come close to the beauty of Dickinson."</p>
+<p>The cat bunted her head against the fox's paw, and ey scratched claws gently between her ears. "This is Priscilla."</p>
+<p>"AwDae, we need--"</p>
+<p>"I know. I can feel the exit." Ey sighed. "I am not sure I want to go."</p>
+<p>Carter hesitated, then leaned in closer to hug an arm around the slender fox's shoulders. "I don't know that you'll have a choice, RJ. I don't think Johansson and Caitlin are going to hold off the police for long."</p>
+<p>"If they pull us back, will I come with?"</p>
+<p>"I don't know."</p>
+<p>AwDae sagged against her. "I know I should come with. But in case I don't, here is what happened."</p>
+<p>Carter tamped down her impatience and let the fox speak. Let em speak about the experience of getting lost. Let em speak about dreaming and the mirroring of exo- and endocortices. Let em speak about Cicero and the vote in the DDR, the trap that had been triggered by some outside authority. Let em confirm all her suspicions and then some.</p>
+<p>That impatience melted away. There was no way that Johansson and Caitlin were somehow holding off the police for this long. Too much time had gone by.</p>
+<p>Had it?</p>
+<p>Had any time gone by?</p>
+<p>Carter could feel the maddening influence of this non-place, so detailed in appearance. She could feel the way the dream buffeted her, drew smudging lines away from her mind. And yet, when she focused, she could still feel that cool breeze of the exit behind her. She focused on that.</p>
+<p>"Thank you, AwDae," she said when ey finally fell silent. "This confirms much of what we learned in the lab and in talking with Sasha."</p>
+<p>The fox sat bolt upright. "Sasha? You were talking with her?"</p>
+<p>"She contacted me, yes. I wasn't supposed to, but I talked with her and Johansson both."</p>
+<p>"I'm glad to hear she's alright, then."</p>
+<p>Carter frowned. "She isn't, though. She got lost about an hour ago. I delved in to pass on information before the police caught up with me, and Debarre and I watched her get lost. That's what led me to try the mirror rig. You should--"</p>
+<p>As she spoke, the fennec's frown grew deeper and deeper, and then, apparently having heard enough, ey dissolved from view. Dissolved with the pleasant disconnection animation.</p>
+<p>Ey had pulled back.</p>
+<p>Carter reached for that cool breeze on the back of her neck and pulled back as well. The quiet purring of the cat was replaced with screaming.</p>
+<p>No, not screaming, shouting. Surprise, not fear or pain. Caitlin and Johansson shouting.</p>
+<p>Carter sat up in the chair she had appropriated and tried to tug off the gloves of the mirror-rig, found her hands bound with a zip-tie. They wouldn't prevent her from looking, though.</p>
+<p>Caitlin was holding RJ's hand, and Johansson was shouting for a doctor.</p>
+<p>RJ's eyes were open.</p>
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