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<title>Zk | Crazed fox! Run!</title>
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<h1>Zk | Crazed fox! Run!</h1>
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<p>Dude.. what kind of FREAK inks a COMIC with a DIP-PEN?! Mmm.. cursive tip.. pointy..</p>
<p>In other news, my stomach still hates me X</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-04-26 04:06:22</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>Weif, I'm a freak. Showed off my comicness today and annoyed people, inked it just nowish.</p>
<p>Got sheet music (Three Flower Songs) and a video in the mail (the PBS thing on string theory. Should show it to Shannon). Every time I fall the ground tells me I'm in love.</p>
<p>And now, Dead Can Dance.</p>
<p>Sota mono tratao no trateja mon
uto traja satija totaja tom
ima toja satao no trateja mon
uto traja satija tom, satija tom
sadom sadom
sadom sadom</p>
<p>Una torti sadom
Una parki sadom</p>
<p>Suta mono tratao na trateja ton
uto traja satija totaja ton
Ima toja satao uno trateja ton
uto traja satija tom, satija tom
sadom sadom
sadom, sadom</p>
<p>Una torti sadom
Una parki sado</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-04-26 15:58:11</p>
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<title>Zk | Heyyy..</title>
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<h1>Zk | Heyyy..</h1>
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<p>Ryannon (Ryan, Shannon :oP), are we taking you to dinner on prom night, or are you two gonna handle that? I'm thinking either The Med or Nabil's..</p>
<p>Also, a reminder to the Jackal and the Voop, I won't be getting out of school until 6-6:30ish, so we'd be getting to group late. If you want to definately ge there for artshare, you might want to cop a ride from someone else</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-04-27 02:20:45</p>
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<title>Zk | Tiiiired.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Tiiiired.</h1>
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<p>52 choir pictures scanned, and a bunch of <a href="http://ranna.ath.cx/senioritis">Senioritis</a>.</p>
<p>In other news, I feel like a table. Go ahead and put s'more stuff on me. Maybe I'll break</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-04-27 20:51:26</p>
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<title>Zk | Insulting.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Insulting.</h1>
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<p>A grade A pain in the ass, a liar, a cheat, an elitist, and a domineering bitch, but mostly, a naive little girl who doesn't know a damned thing about love</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-04-29 17:14:08</p>
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<title>Zk | Hmm.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Hmm.</h1>
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<p>Pardon me if I seem rather escapist, but I'm just gonna drop the subject. Kelly, I tried, I really did, and I got some gratitude for it, but reposting the conversation wasn't to anyone's benefit, and made me feel just as bad as the original did. Michael, I'm not going to choose sides; I don't feel comfortable in this tizzy. Kindra, maybe there's a way you can salvage my respect for you, but I don't know what it is. Everyone else, I'm out.</p>
<p>In other news, school still sucks. Failed another math test I thought I did well on. I think I might be last in class rank. Latin has a 200 line poetry test coming up next week. Second half of a history test next week. Speaking of history, I ditched an assembly ("don't drink and drive") and got to Carter's class on time, along with about half of the class, only to find out that the assembly ran 20 minutes late, making it completely obvious who ditched and who didn't. Carter got pissed at the administration. </p>
<p>I have about 200 pictures to scan this weekend. Joy</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-04-30 17:00:59</p>
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<title>Zk | For posterity! Or something..</title>
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<h1>Zk | For posterity! Or something..</h1>
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<p><font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: my mom's asking me wierd questions...
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: I can only avaoid questions so long <em>whimper</em>
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Like what? o.o
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: umm... "so are you and matt thinking about moving in together when you both get jobs"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Yes, I'll keep you in my dorm room, in my bed.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: yay
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: my mom wants to know what you're going to CSU for
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: your major
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Biochemistry, though I may switch to biology education.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: that's spiffy
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Yeah. I'd like to teach, but I'm not sure I could deal with the kids, so I'll see how I like biochem.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: ah
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: corrupting kids would be fun though
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Yeah. Teaching really does appeal to me, but I'm starting to realize how much I hate highschool kids :o)
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: lolo
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: i think being in high school makes you dislike highschoolers
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: True..
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: I kinda want to be a choir director, but I'm not sure.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: oooh
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: that would be fun
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: I thought you didn't like choir so much though
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: I love choir, I hate my director like pieces of the sun.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: oh, alright
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: i get it
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: <em>petpetpets</em> Any other questions I can answer? ^^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: hmm...
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Truthfully or otherwise.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: hmm, lemme think ^<em>~
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: my mom asks "what are you intentions towards me?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: That's.. an odd question.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: i know
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she's looking for an answer, sarcastic or not... you asked if there were more questions, lol
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Do I need a goal-oriented action-item, or can I just say 'to be the best person I can be for you'?
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she said that's the perfect answer
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: and i agree
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Oh, is this a pop quiz? :o)
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: yes
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: ^</em>^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: is that alright?
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Mmhm ^^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: when do you start CSU
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: and are you on scholarship(s)?
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: I start in the fall, and no scholarships. I've been too busy to apply for lengthly ones, and FAFSA didn't like me.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: ^<em>^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: My mom wants to know what you plan on happening when you stay here next weekend?
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Do you own Labyrinth?
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: yes
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: I wanna watch it ^^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: kk
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Other than that, no plans ^^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: does you mom know you're staying?
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Not yet. Haven't had a chance to talk with her since I'm at my dad's.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: ah
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: kk
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Eep, weird crap in my room./
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: like?
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she has another question... "do you want me to go back to college?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: I think it'd be neat . You'd make a good vet. ^^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: aww thank you
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she wants me to be a chemistry major, lol
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: i like the vet thing
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Why a chem major?
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she said I love it, which I do, and I'm great at it, which I am, and i could help the world a lot by doign it, and she said it's a natural thing for me, which I agree on
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she's full of questions... hope it's not bothering you
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: I'm having fun ^^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she wants to know who you think is dominant in our relationship
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: I'd say the alpha, but actually, we're fairly egalitarian.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she said that;s a good answer
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she wants to know if you see me as a male or female
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Depends on the situation. I think of you as male, but sometimes can't help but see you as female. <em>shrug</em>
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she askes "in which situations do you see her as female and do you see her more and more as female?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Situations where physical characteristics make it evident, such as moments where your voice gets particularly soprano-esque.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: lol
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: and the other half of the question?
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: As male?
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: no...
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: do you see her more and more as female?"<br />
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: such as as we go along... does it go more male ro female or female to male?
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Um.. I really don't pay a whole lot of attention to it, except when it's brought up or made evident, might have to get back to you on that. Sorry for the non-answer..
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: it's alright
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she thinks your stalling on the answers, lol
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: I am, I need time to think c.c
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: i know, i told her that, lol
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "do you see yourself as male or female?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Twisted answer or simple answer?
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "the honest answer"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: They're both honest, each in its own way.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: it dostn't matter to her but i want the twisted one
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Simple: male.
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Twisted: I don't think of having a gender. I'm male by consequence and genetics, but I'm neither masculine nor feminine.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: lol, that's what my mom sais about herself
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: ^</em>^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she asks "what do you think abotu this relationship between her and Samir?"
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: no judgement on my part
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: It's constructive. I can't see anything bad coming of it.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: ^<em>^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: i like that one
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Yee ^^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she asks "are you an only child?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Yup. I had a stepbrother and two step sisters for.. 11 years.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she asks "do you know how to quiet your mind?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Yes, I use a grounding technique from Usui style Reiki.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: ""
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "when you get depressed, do you use it? or do you forget it's a talent?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: It depends on where the depression's coming from. If it's sympathetic or empathetic, it usually helps by quieting it, but if I'm actually depressed, I rarely remember it.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "do you know what a metaphysision is or how to spell it?"
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: lol, neither of us can spell it
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Metaphysician.
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: My guess would be that it's a reiki practitioner.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: thanks for the spelling
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: hai hai, that's what my mom is
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "can you create?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: If it's create with a lowercase c, then I suppose so. I can make coffee and such :o) If it's Create, then I'm not sure what you mean.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "do you believe you create your own reality?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Within limits, yeah, I suppose I do.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she said "there are no limits"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Except the ones you put on yourself :o)
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: ^</em>^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "can you close your eyes and invision something and know it's true?"
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "and know that it's going to be?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Depends again on the limits I place on myself.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: kk
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she said "you're still young, her journey didn't start until she was 43 and studied for 10 years to get to where she is now"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: And I've got all the time in the world, so I'm taking steps. The only leap I've taken was getting attuned to 2nd degree Reiki in four hours, and that awoke a stomach ache to end all stomach aches. :o)
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "what do you mean by second level attunement?"
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "are you talking abotu running energy?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Reiki is a school, divided into three degrees depending on how much you learn, which is based on how ready you are. I was ready for what I had to learn, but practicing the first day lead me to a purge that took place over a few days.
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Michael knows about this from my journal thing.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she said she's out of questions
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: do you have any for her? ^<em>^
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Did she come to any conclusions about me? :o)
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "being a metaphysican I don't judge, I accept things given to me as information"
Moondog Dragon: so I'd say no, but she had no bad reastions to any answers ^</em>^
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Hehe, everyone has their non-answers.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: ^_^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: i suppose so
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she said that she'll think about
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: it
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Okie ^^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: do you have any questions for me?
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: How do you think it went?
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: i think it went well
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: except I'm all "Q &amp; A" mood now
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Hee ^^
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: oops, she has one more for you, then she said she's done "what do you honestly think about wendy smoking?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Hmm.
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Still torn between me wanting to say it's up to you and that it's another feature that just makes you all the more 'you'; and the fact that it really is bad for you, and I probably wouldn't be too happy if you got sick 'cause of it..
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "spiritually, do you know what it's used for?"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: I have a vague idea of what tobacco itself is used for, but, from what I've read, there's precious little of that in cigarettes. :o)
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: "no... smoking is used to hide anger"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: I thought you meant traditionally. My bad.
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: lol
<font color="blue">Moondog Dragon</font>: she said "I'm not traditional, don't know what normal is and have a hard time talking to 'normal' people, or non-aware people"
<font color="red">Ranna Fox</font>: Normal is a theme, and themes make good music</p>
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<title>Zk | Some humor.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Some humor.</h1>
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<p><a href="http://ranna.ath.cx/smallestviol.gif">This link</a> will be sporadic, so enjoy it while it's up</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-05-01 19:47:23</p>
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<title>Zk | I actually have to scan enough stuff that I can reasonably turn my keystrokes into a poem.</title>
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<h1>Zk | I actually have to scan enough stuff that I can reasonably turn my keystrokes into a poem.</h1>
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<p><em>scan</em> Enter. Alt i e 9 Alt i i tab tab 800 Ctrl+shift+s Shift+tab Shift+tab down up up enter tab right right down down down enter down enter tab 0501-059 tab j enter enter
Repeat.</p>
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<title>Zk | Senioritis</title>
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<h1>Zk | Senioritis</h1>
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<p>Inked and scanned two new ones.
<a href="http://ranna.ath.cx/senioritis/04.png">04</a> - Sorry if it's unintelligible. Features Mr. Pilot, and his favorite line from FLCL.
<a href="http://ranna.ath.cx/senioritis/05.png">05</a> - Features Moondog. Keep in mind that this is a parody of real life, with only the species changed.</p>
<p>I'm glad pen nibs only cost a quarter or so, 'cause <strong>I</strong> wouldn't waste a micron on this ^</p>
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<h1>Zk | Prom..</h1>
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<p>Dinner plans up in the air. The Med is kind of expensive and full, so maybe The Kitchen or something else.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-05-02 18:16:01</p>
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<title>Zk | Yay</title>
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<h1>Zk | Yay</h1>
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<p>Once again reminded of how much I love biology. Lately, these essays-a-night have been bugging me, but the one due tomorrow is on the immune system. When I found my notes, I had another sort of flashback to learning in class and getting so damned excited at the topic that I was most likely impatient with Ms. Reed for going slow :o) Anyway, I'm quite pleased with my reaction, as I was afraid that I'd have a hard time with bio in college, but with this I can understand how I'll just end up having fun with it. Well, most of it ^</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-05-03 03:50:57</p>
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<h1>Zk | Aww..</h1>
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<p>I feel like crying! It's sad :o)</p>
<p>Anyway, I slept in until 5:30 on accident, leaving me virtually no time for homework, a good deal of which is due today, and it made me incredibly sad.</p>
<p>Well, half of me. The other half is irrationably chipper ^</p>
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<title>Zk | It's in your moleskine</title>
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<h1>Zk | It's in your moleskine</h1>
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<p>but that's a PDF. It's also on the web:
<a href="http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Center&amp;Template=/TaggedPage/TaggedPageDisplay.cfm&amp;TPLID=63&amp;ContentID=17353#FAQ">Here&lt;/a</p>
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<h1>Zk | Hmm.</h1>
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<p>Labyrinth + Mugwort and Catnip tea lead to me dreaming about David Bowie being my choir director and some odd group (it had Tim Schiesswohl in it, who isn't actually in choir) rehearsing lying down on the stage naked.</p>
<p>Anyway, yesterday: I had my speech in public speaking. It went pretty well. My 'opponent' ended up proving my point in a round about way, but she still did well. I think, for doing my outline a few hours previous, I did pretty well, too ^^ I didn't lose anyone on the oppinion polls. After that.. um.. Carter.. nothing exciting. Went home for lunch alone (I waited.. c.c) and put in eyedrops before my eyes got too bloodshot and itchy (which they did anyway) and also printed out my poem for creative writing. Latin was actually pretty cool. Sort of. Got out early and went to Wendy's for fries. Creative Writing, MissDoo's hatred grows.</p>
<p>Last night, I wish I had been able to talk to teh Moondoggy s'more, but my mom stole the computer and I went to bed. Oh yeah, before that was Labyrinth and tea. So.. here I am ^</p>
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<p>Poor Kiran :o) I keep getting the feeling that I'm making him uncomfortable 'cause I'm rather physical with friends. I've asked him about it, but he always denies. Oh well. Don't apologize, Kiran, I should if I <em>am</em> making you feel awkward.</p>
<p>Anyway, yeah. After school, I beat people with my tail for a while, then we all (Ryan, Nicku, Andru, Kiran) decided to go to my house for partaking in Labyrinth, since some had never seen it (it was cheap, so I bought it). We piled, sort of, and I reiki'd Kiran for tummy hurtiness until he squirmed away from my overheated paws. After, there was more piling, some wrestling, and other goofing around while Nicku looked at my Magic cards. Before long, Kiran had called his mom to get picked up, Andrew left for the bus, and Ryan and Nick followed shortly after Kiran was picked up. So here I am. Talking to Li'l Orange Thing.</p>
<p>Today was cool. Went to talk in health classes about faggotry. Nicki and Constance spoke, too, so we had a grand ould time. Lots of good questions and good responses. In choir, we voted for top senior people, and I was informed by a good number of people that they voted for me. Hmm. Odd. Anyhoo. Nothing special after that, 'cept for leaving Latin to go drink chocolate soy milk with peoples on rampthing.</p>
<p>P-p-p-p-p-prom! I'm thinking an earlyish dinner and a movie somewhere. <em>Man on Fire</em> and <em>Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind</em> have been suggested to me by biology students. Kiran wants to come to dinner and movie, too, but not Prom, so.. yeah. Michael and Ryannon, talk wif me, and we'll work times out that'll work. Also, what should we do about dinner? I'm assuming there's no qualms with the Kitchen or Nabil's..</p>
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<p>I was gonna write a big ol' thing on prom, but really it was kinda nothing special. See Ryan's post for details. After promishness, I took people home and headed over to Michael's to pass out. I felt kinda bad about not staying up later, but I was really tired, so.. oh well. We messed around some in the morning and I left kinda confused; mostly just pondering sexuality. I'm feeling really asexual lately.</p>
<details text="In other news..."><summary>In other news...</summary> I ordered some Salvia Divinorum and some Calea Zacatechichi. The first is a teaching plant, and the second is a dreaming plant. Salvia, from various accounts, seems best smoked, but I had a real hard time with it. I have a real hard time with most smoke. Thus I'm going to make a weak extract (2x-4x) to get a higher dose of the Salvinorins, and I also have a standardized 10x extract coming in the mail. That, however, will require a very good sitter as accounts attest. I'd ask Steve, but I'm not sure I can really trust him as a sitter. Maybe Ryan.. Anyway, you can look up Salvia on <a href="http://erowid.org">Erowid</a>, but keep in mind that I'm not using it for 'tripping' as many there do. A common theme among people who have tried Salvia is that it's a very powerful teacher, and I'd like to take a lesson from it. As for Calea, it's mostly just an herb that helps with lucid dreaming. I'm going to be doing as Ryan says and take for a bit and then stop, though keep the same intent. If you have any questions about me dealing with either of these, ask, by all means. I feel I may be overexplaining things slightly to prove the point that I'm not doing anything 'recreationally,' because I really don't feel that I am, and I don't want to be accused of being a druggie; this may be obfuscating things, though, so ask if you want.
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<p><lj-cut text="Questions.">1.FIRST NAME: All I have are first names c.c Matt Joseph Scott, or Ranna.
2.WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Ranna I stole from Garth Nix's Sabriel. Ranna is the sleep bringer, the sweet, low sound that brings silence in its wake.
3. WHERE WERE YOU BORN: Denverish. Rose Medical Center.
4. WHICH FINGER IS YOUR FAVORITE? <em>fing</em> <em>fing</em> Dunno.
5. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? The night I overslept, I cried in frustration on the car-ride to school.
6. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It's passable :o)
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Noooodles? o.o;
8. ANY BAD HABITS? Plenty, I'm sure.
9. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF? To be honest, I feel slightly embarassed that I listen to a lot of classical music. Oh well.
10.IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Sure.
11. ARE YOU A DARE DEVEL? Nope. I like to spend months or years reading about stuff before actually trying it.
12. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL? Probably.
13. DO LOOKS MATTER? Yup, but they're not all that matters.
14. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? I whine until someone sympathizes.
15. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? Fairview x.x
17. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Christmoose! It was a moose with a santa hat.
18. WHAT CLASS IN SCHOOL DO YOU THINK IS TOTALLY USELESS? My math class. The math itself is useful, but damn that class..
19. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yuppo.
20. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Nooooooo 9.9 Of course I do.
21. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT? Nope ^^
22. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? It's not often that I get to look in a guy/girl, though if I lost my keys or some jewelrey.. o.o;
23. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Ranna, Mattie.
24. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Nope.
25. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Tie? Shoes? I have Boulder shoes.
26. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE STRONG? Yes, in some ways.
27. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Um.. oh dear.. I had a frozen Snickers today. Does that count?
28. SHOE SIZE? 11-12
29. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS? Greeen and.. grayscale.
30. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE? None. Forcefully removed.
31. SANDBOX OR MONKEY BARS? We dug tunnels in the sandbox and climbed atop the monkeybars.<br />
32. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE YOU SEND THIS TO, TO SEND IT BACK? Send?
33. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Oranges &amp; Lemons - Soramimi Keeki
34. LAST THING YOU ATE? Oh jeez.. a six hour old Quarter Pounder with Cheese, microwaved. (I was really hungry, okay? ;.;)
35. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Sa-Kun, briefly, and Michael before that,
36. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Hello.
37.DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? No, I hate you all. I hate the entire pack, AND Sa-kun. (See #20)
38. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Odd. Mostly.
39. FAVORITE DRINK? Buh.. not Calea tea. Um.. chocolate malt Ovaltine or honey-lemon-ginger-water.
40. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? It's all pretty gross, but I can do a mellow red wine.
41. FAVORITE SPORTS? I have to give Curling credit for being interesting.. other than that.. sleeping's a sport, ne?
42. HAIR COLOR? Dark brown.
43. EYE COLOR? Depends. Glammour and what I'm wearing may make it vary.
44. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope.
45. SIBLINGS? No, thanks.
46. FAVORITE MONTH? May's pretty cool.
47. FAVORITE FOOD? Food. Just.. food. I like most anything.
48. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Started watching Neverwhere. Mmm.. Gaiman..
49. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Today! Or Beltaine.
50. ARE YOU SHY WHEN IT COMES TO ASKING SOMEONE OUT? Goodness, yes. But I want to ask some pretty weird people out.
51. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? M-m-m-m-movies?!
52. SUMMER OR WINTER? Both!
53. HUGS OR KISSES? Both!
54. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships.
55. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Whoever wants to.
56. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Whoever doesn't want to.
57. HAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW? Ah.. Mikhail Bulgakov - <u>Master and Margarita</u>, Vergil - <u>The Aeneid</u> (latin and english), I forget - <u>The Labyrinth</u>, and a few others.
58. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Dell / www.dell.com / support.dell.com
59. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Cribbage? Or.. um.. some game where you use glass beads and a board with wells drilled into it, and you move the beads around.
60. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Neverwhere.
61. FAVORITE SMELLS? Clooooves, Calea flowers, L'Occitane Amber inscense.
62. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP? Fuk.. beep.. what.. beeping.. g'damn.. <em>smack alarm clock</em>
63. SAY ONE THING NICE ABOUT THE PERSON THAT SENT THIS TO YOU: You're all a bunch of losers. I mean.. I love the lot o' ye ^^&lt;/lj-cut</p>
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<h1>Zk | Christ A'mighty...</h1>
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<p>Feeling really good ^^ Mellow waves of a sort of vague, euphoric love wash over me. It's both directed and undirected, so if I seem rather affectionate tomorrow (big if, it might not last the night), cool. Apologies if it offends.</p>
<p>Talked to Kory a little bit earlier about the crush I had (have? As nice as it'd be to have other feelings leave when you enter a relationship, it's not always so simple) on him, as well as Jerred, though it was mostly just a discussion on how it related to Shanerak. Silly old me, I ended up sorta edging away from the truth, portraying Shan as an enabler who sort of edged me closer to my crushes. What can I say, I was scared <em>shrug</em></p>
<p>I might've seemed angry at Androo earlier tonight, but he was coming off as kinda rude. Sill old me, jumping to conclusions. Anyhoo, I'm in love with the world, so it seems to matter so little now ^</p>
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<h1>Zk | Hue!</h1>
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<p>Schoool. Overslept some, but Revier didn't say anything. Went home during second for a shower and a snack. I ended up eating something that made me rather sick, and, though I started feeling slightly better during lunch, I ended up just taking Shannon home and sleeping through sixth and eighth. I made it back to school in time for Chivalry, where we had a really good rehearsal, even if the bases (<em>cough</em>Kory<em>cough</em>) wouldn't shut up. During massed choir, I sung and poked at Kory some, then sat on the stage and poked at Jerred. I was gonna give Kory a ride to his car 'cause he's a lazy bum, but he had to stay, so I just drove Shannon home and dumped off some plastic. Just got off the phone with Moondoggy, who sounded half asleep, and now here I am.</p>
<p>Yesterday was unspectacular except for the lack of sleep. I was late to Chivalry 'cause I forgot it started at 6:45, so Revier yelled at me and I yelled back. After school, I drove home to pick up mail. Got my Salvia (10x extraction, and a free baggie of 5x extraction) and HBWR seeds. Then to coffee with Samir. We talked a lot about everything from <a href="http://ranna.ath.cx/prom-mugshot.jpg">Michael</a> to <a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/discord/sermonettes/02_wisdom.txt">innocence</a> (that file is one I mentioned to Samir; it's not what I remember it being, but some similar ideas and a quote are expressed). After the talk came group, which sucked mightily, so Michael, Samir, Androo, Me, Kelly, and two NVHS kids left for coffee. I left shortly after to go to bed.</p>
<p>Aaaaand I just forgot to press enter x.x I know I told Michael I was gonna go to bed after a shower, but I got distracted (and spent some money. Damnit..), sorry. Anyway, gonna talk with him Sunday about schtuffs</p>
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<h1>Zk | Hmm.</h1>
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<p>I'm lazy, I like Modest Mouse, and I like Erowid. That's all I really have to say</p>
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<h1>Zk | Grf.</h1>
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<p>It sucks to hurt people even if it feels like you're doing it out of necessity. I woke up with just barely enough time for a shower and driving over to Michael's, but traffic was against me, so I ended up being 15 or 20 minutes late. We were to talk about some of the stuff that Samir and I had talked about, but didn't get around to it for a few because I'm a wimp. Basically, we ended up putting the relationship on hold. My feeling non-sexual and a little iffy about Michael's sex combined with Michael's feeling quite sexual made things awkward and kinda put a more platonic relationship in doubt. We'll need to talk more, but I'm assuming this means we're just good friends. At least I hope so.</p>
<p>I'm gonna go lie down for a bit, then get up and do math homework</p>
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<h1>Zk | Agghh..</h1>
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<p>What a shitty day. When I'm not thinking about yesterday, I'm being tormented by teachers, my inability to deal with inanimate objects, other people's responsiblities, and my own mind messing with me. What I wouldn't give to not have to go back to school right now -.</p>
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<h1>Zk | Damnit..</h1>
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<p>I spent the day having responsibilities that aren't mine pushed upon me unwillingly because people can't deal with them themselves. So when I got home today (to a package, yay) and talked with Moondog, I was hardly in the mood for an argument, so I tried everything I could think off to be as reasonable as possible, and now we're in limbo. Everything, that is, except backing down. There's nothing I can do about our current dilema. I've dealt with just dealing with things that make me uncomfortable in relationships in the past, and it almost always lead to disaster, so I stand firm (ha ha) on my current boundry of no sex. However, that just seemed to confuse things as I offered Moondog myself as I was before. I'm trying my hardest to be steadfast, but it's only seeming to make things worse. I wish I knew if I were helping Michael, or hurting him further by doing this. It makes me just want to give up sometimes; curl up, fall asleep, and never wake again</p>
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<h1>Zk | Okay</h1>
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<p>Before Samir gets on my case about inconsistancy, or Michael tries to read my rather odd reply to his comment this morning, I feel that I should make myself clear.</p>
<p>Something odd happened this morning. I was fuming over the replies to my previous post and how it was misinterpereted when I started to remember the past few months. Certain things struck my in particular (and they shall remain private) about the relationship between Michael and I. The more I thought and read through my post, the more I realized just how stubborn I was being, and so I thought on that a bit. I've come to the conclusion, with the help of both Michael and Samir, that a mate should ultimately be able to change for the sake of his mate to the extent that they feel comfortable. It's part of love, and it's part of devotion, and this seems to be something that I've forgotten over the past few days. I don't want to seem like I'm trying to escape a problem, I just realized how simple of a problem it really was.</p>
<p>So the result of my slight epiphany? I love you, Michael, and I suppose I feel comfortable declaring that publically. I love you enough that, given time, I suppose I could change. Maybe not completely, but enough that I feel I could deal with the way things are. No, not deal, enjoy. So, if you're still willing, if I haven't pushed you too far away, I'd like for you to remain my mate and help me as much as possible with any changes that need to be made by cooperating with my body for this short time while it rebels by being silent. I sincerely apologize for all the grief and confusion I've caused, but please, work with me.</p>
<p>That said, both you and Samir, I think, read my previous post incorrectly, as I meant to just be summarizing the discussion for journal's sake, however weird it might have come out. God damn the english language, and I'm sorry for my ambiguous wording.</p>
<p>Remember, Love keeps no record of wrongs, it does not rejoice in evil by rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Corinth. 1</p>
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<h1>Zk | Because I'm weird,</h1>
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<p>I'm going to pronounce 'yage' the american way, rhyming with sage, instead of the traditional way, 'yah-hey'. This has lead me to imagine a picture of Lady Sage (Salvia) and Master Yage (Yage) as furs, Salvia being a green vixen, middle aged, and Yage being a purplish male wolf, old and wisened. Also, I feel like equating Lady Salvia to Eris.</p>
<p>Anyhoo, today was odd. Lots of choir stuffs, then a strange party in bio. Ryan, Kiran, and I left to go walk around Viele. After, Chivalry, where the conductors gave the pianists a card. I drove Ryan and Andrew home, and headed back myself to clean up after my 2x extraction of Salvia finished. The remains were consecrated and burned.</p>
<p>At group, I was confronted with some possible changes in group culture, that, if they go into effect, will lead me to stop going. So instead of staying for the first hour, Michael and I went and sat by my car to talk (which shall remain private), me on a towel so as not to get grass all over my Excal suit. After that, the concert. My mom had insisted on a light dinner of a salad before, so I stopped and got some fries at Wendy's and Kory stared at me from the next lane as we cruised down Broadway. It took a while for me to notice. May Our Paths went well until the bases decided to leave before the curtain closed due to an ambiguous cue from Keller. </p>
<p>This was followed shortly by Chivalry, which went very well. From the time I left the stage to the time I left the school, random people - mostly choir kids - came up to me and shook my hand, telling me how wonderful it was. I'd met up with Shannon earlier, and this didn't seem to make her very happy. I still feel slightly like I'm blamed by her for her outlook on choir. Oh well. More random, high profile people told me that they voted for me for #1 choir geek; I'm starting to think that I should think some about a speech for tomorrow. Anyway, massed choir followed and went really well. It felt kinda odd, like a penultimate moment. I think tomorrow's going to be really powerful, personally, and I probably won't feel so hot afterwards. I'm going to miss choir a lot, despite the shit I talk about it sometimes to keep myself ingratiated with friends or release anger with Revier. Specifically, there are a few people who I'm going to miss a whole lot, like Jerred and Kory, even though tomorrow's not the last time I'll see them. I feel kinda bad for still having a thing for Kory, even though I'm in a relationship currently.</p>
<p><em>panics over choir video</em> Aaaand.. that's it</p>
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<h1>Zk | Umf. Final concert of high school.</h1>
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<details text="Sob story."><summary>Sob story.</summary>I was thinking I wouldn't cry, or maybe shed a single tear (onto the unicorn's horn..) during Hold Your Hand. And I did, so I thought I wasn't going to any more. But then Keller and Revier sang their song and I fucking sobbed. And I didn't stop until about 10, half an hour after the concert ended. I didn't even make it out of the building until 10:30, and I just got home, at 12:30.
I was right, it was a tough night, but wonderful at the same time. I don't care what others say or what I've said about Revier, I'm really going to miss choir. A lot. I'm gonna miss Kory a lot; I know it may be kinda tough on Michael, and I could probably dismiss my liking of Kory on whimsy considering his orientation (you know, wanting something you know you can't have), but it's really kinda breaking my heart to have to leave him behind and all. At least that's what it is, though, whimsy, and I'm not leaving someone like Michael behind, who means all the more to me.
However, we have another week left yet, and I'm really concerned about the choir video. I think FedEx tried to deliver my laptop today, and I should get it tomorrow, which opens the option of bringing that and a projector, as well as doing the video in iMovie or whatever it's called. However, I do need to cram on that, as well as all the other homework teachers are wanting to pile on me. I also need to find a book for Latin, and the stamp I'm gonna use in the signing of yearbooks (I Corinth. 13). We get those tomorrow.
I'm still sad. I should go to bed.
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<p>I called FexEx last night and told them to deliver my package sometime AFTER 3 O'CLOCK. I come home today to find out they tried to deliver at 11:15 AM. Do I really need to specify 3 PM? Are people really this dumb. I'm irate.</p>
<p>As for today, the zoo kinda sucked with an assignment, but Kiran and Jani were there to goof around with. Still felt sad this morning, even though I slept in somewhat. Now I'm gonna go nap, 'cause I have a migrane and not enough sleep backing me up</p>
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<p>I woke this morning to the doorbell ringing, and immediately raced upstairs so I wouldn't miss the god-damned FedEx man. Even after the call, he was an hour earlier than even yesterday, showing up at around 10. Anyhoo, I've been fucking around with the new powerbook for most of the day; mostly having loads of fun.</p>
<p>Mostly, I say, because Michael and I sorta figured out what needed to be done, and did it, even if it wasn't that much fun. However, I think it's for the best. Hasn't gotten to me yet, though I think tomorrow may be interesting.</p>
<p>Fine, I'll join at least part of the recent slew of bandwagons. I only picked one of the answers because it said something about 'disrespect your face', which, even though the first part of the answer didn't fit, that part was me to a T.</p>
<p><img alt="Glasswalker" border="0" src="http://images.quizilla.com/S/spinalburn/1058587959_asswalkers.jpg"/><br/>You are a Glasswalker. You are techno-savvy and a<br/>born city dweller. You are very social and<br/>classy, and probably not doing too bad<br/>moneywise.
<br/><br/><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/spinalburn/quizzes/Which%20of%20the%20twelve%20werewolf%20tribes%20would%20you%20be%20in%3F/"> <font size="-1">Which of the twelve werewolf tribes would you be in?</font></a><br/> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a>&lt;/font</p>
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<h1>Zk | AAAaahahahha</h1>
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<p>I can't stop laughing..</p>
<table border="1" bordercolor="black" cellspacing="0" width="250px"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black"><font style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt; color: red;">gv_ranna<br/>Look out for the </font></td></tr><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="#FF0000"><font style="font-family: webdings; font-size: 64pt; color: black;">m</font><br/><font style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 32pt; color: black;">HOLE</font></td></tr></table>
<p><br/><form action="http://www.go-quiz.com/warning-label/warning-label.php" method="POST">Username:<input name="uname"/><input type="submit" value="Get your warning label"/><br/>
</form>From <a href="http://www.go-quiz.com">Go-Quiz.com&lt;/a</p>
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<p>(p) Jim pages, "alright. tommorow will probably be my last chance to getonline before I head over to seattle. just incase, my cell is
604-728-9664.. believe I still have the # for one of your parent'splaces" to you</p>
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<title>Zk | Sleep is now my mortal enemy.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Sleep is now my mortal enemy.</h1>
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<p>I'm not quite sure how I pulled off sleeping 15 hours on a school night, but I don't believe I have time for all of my homework, much less the choir video</p>
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<p>Well. Hmm.. well. Well.</p>
<p>Choir video: I finished it in time, luckily, though I bullshitted the last bit of it (from all-state on) Apparently people still liked it, considering the amount of people that came up to me afterwards and complimented and/or asked for a copy of it. Kristal remarked just how many pictures contained Kory, along with most people I asked. Also, I apparently made the All-State Section too long and made some people feel bad. Well, I did what I could with what I had. I'd like to thank Shannon for being so tolerant with me sort of brushing her off. I gave her lots of credit in the video because, even though it seemed like I didn't let her do much, she really helped with moral support and ideas. Also, she bought me hot chocolate afterwards at Caffe Sole. ^^</p>
<p>Graduation: I didn't know I was supposed to call Jim/Terb for that, my apologies. It went well, though. Fairly standard as far as graduations go, though; got a diploma in the end. Dad and Julie came over and had Mr. Pilot take pictures of various couplings of parents and me for them. They got buzzed after chugging champagne like beer, and my mom got drunk on a glass. Michael and Shannon came over too, and partook in garlicky dip and a glass of champagne as well. Wondering where everyone was, I called Terb and Ryan. Terb and Jim came over, Ryan forgot it was then, couldn't make it. We eventually all ended up on the floor in the basement watching movie trailers and the like. Snuggled with Moondoggy some. He's good for that. More on that later. <em>Pharmako/poeia</em> came. Wondrous book.</p>
<p>Parties on Sunday: I misread two of the three invitations and ended up only going to Stephy P.'s party, as Willy's was the night before, and Laurel et al.'s is on friday. It was alright, but I got really tired and passed out early, sleeping until ten, then going back to bed at 2 and nearly oversleeping this morning. I think my body's still messed up from that last week of school 'cause, after all of that sleep, I'm tired yet again. Real tired.</p>
<p>Today: got up in time to get a shower and some stuff cleaned up downstairs before people came over. We made it to the fair in time for some foods and pictures before we met Moondog and Pilot there. More food and wandering around, spent some time by the creek. I was gonna do the thing with Michael that I had planned, but had some some second thoughts. After that, we went back to the dungeon to watch <em>Airplane</em>. More snuggling. </p>
<p>I'm really confused. I really do love Moondog a lot, but it.. eh. I just don't think that it would be a very healthy relationship if sex were to enter into it at all, which I'm sure it would, knowing the fluctuations of both of our hormones. I don't think I would deal with it well, considering how I dealt with it in the past. The conflict of gender and sex is too much for me, and is slowly proving yet again that I do like guys, all apologies to Moondog. Yet I'm still addicted to snuggles. It's kinda painful. I'm sure it is for both of us.</p>
<p>Aaaand.. Kory. I don't know what to do about him. It hurts. So much pain, it's all so beautiful.
<em>That was cliche.</em><br />
Yeah, it was, but beautiful pain points out the miracles of everything.
<em>Are you turning into a christian?</em><br />
Perhaps.<br />
<em>Now say 'mum'.</em><br />
Mum</p>
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<h1>Zk | Pig-english: a code language for Latin</h1>
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<p>Heh. Thanks to <lj user="alcarilinque"></lj> for the idea. I found it in his LJ after following a comment he left in a previous post on throat singing.</p>
<ul>
<li>Last and first syllables switched</li>
<li>Ait at beginning of sentence.</li>
<li>Alternate sic and tum between words</li>
<li>
<p>iam at end.</p>
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<p>Poetic Rules apply (erunt -&gt; ere, poetic plurals, &amp;c. Elision gets ruined by sic/tum)</p>
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<li>Add suffix -it to non-conjugated/declined words and conjugated/declined words of one syllable (don't switch last/first)</li>
<li>'Impossible' consonant clusters, insert y</li>
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<p>Quo usque tandem abutere, Catalina, patientia nostra? Quam diu etiam furor iste tuus nos eludet?
--&gt;
Aitquo sic queus tum emdytamit sic rebutera, tum Atalinaca, sic atientipa tum rastynoiam? Aitquam sic udi tum amytie sic orfur tum teis sic ustu tum sic nosit tum etyludeiam?</p>
<p>It's like a steganographic artlang from Latin ^^ I'm a geek, but forgive me, I just took a history final. Now I truly am done with school :o</p>
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<h1>Zk | Christopher Walken is way cool.</h1>
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<p>''I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.'</p>
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<p>My emotions are gaining distinct colors, like a kind of twisted synaesthesia. There's definitely a sense of physical location associated with each emotion, and it's not always internal. There may also be a tactile part to this, but I have yet to experience it in any different places or with any different touches, so it may just be one continuous headache that goes latent occasionally. </p>
<p>An example: when pondering Kory, a luminescent fuschia color that seems to be flowing in the right hemisphere of my brain; when thinking of Moondog and snuggling, a warm, earthy brown with a little bit of green in a pine-needle-ish pattern about a foot and a half in front of me and slightly to the left; tiredness is off-white everywhere and blind hopelessness is bright blue wrapped around my mind. The headache moves around, but it's mostly at the lower, back, right side of my head. Ibuprofin works well.</p>
<p>This isn't what I meant when I was talking about beautiful pain</p>
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<p>Which is probably exacerbated by me forcing my brain to switch between QWERTY and Dvorak while trying to learn Dvorak and type QWERTY on a Dvorak keyboard. Kiran called about a math exam tomorrow. oh well. It has the added benefit of freaking out whoever looks at it.</p>
<p>Greens covering my chest and shoulders warmly are happiness. Group tonight was particularly nice with Moondoggy. Wrote about gay stuff:
<details text="Which Follows"><summary>Which Follows</summary></p>
<h1 id="1-they-say-im-not-normal-period">1 They say I'm not normal period.</h1>
<p>This, of course is coming from the jocks, the preps, the Xtians, the punks,
the losers, the winners, the teachers, the counselors, my friends, my enemies,
the dogs, the cats, the tables. The chairs, too. They wonder why I can't
just sit in them like a normal freaking person. Whatever. What they don't
know is that I'm secretly happier than them. they might not know it by
looking at me, since sometimes I look like I'm having a really rough time,
but it's true. You see, one of the many keys to happiness is individuality,
and you gotta have all the keys before you're really happy. Many people
don't, and many of those seem to think they do. They think that statistics on
suicides and self mutilation have everything to do with happiness among queer
teens, when really, all they have to do with queer teens is statistics.
Numbers that may or may not accurately represent the truth. I think that
being abnormal, specifically being gay makes you happy. Maybe it isn't just a
coincidence of words, maybe we really are gay.</p>
<h1 id="4-queer-hair-queer-mouth-queer-brain">4 Queer hair, queer mouth, queer brain.</h1>
<p>Queer hair, queer mouth, queer brain, queer sleeves, queer shoes, queer toes,
queer nails, queer fingers, queer palms, hairy palms, queer wrists, limp
wrists, queer arms, queer shoulders, arms around shoulders, queer neck,
sensitive neck, queer hair, curly, queer ears, sensitive ears, eargasmic,
queer cheek, blushing cheek, queer nose, got it from my dad, queer eyes, queer
colors, got them from my grandpa, queer eyebrows, but not as queer as some,
queer face, too long, queer chest, too skinny, queer belly, padded, queer
crotch, go figure, queer thighs, better believe it, queer knees, queer calfs,
queer ankles, queer legs, flexible, queer feet, still smell, queer guy, no
surprise.</p>
<p>&lt;/details</p>
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<p>The navy blue I've been seeing at waist level in front of me and to my left is contentment. I'm not entirely sure that it being omnipresent is a good thing, however, considering the colors it's mixed with. Am I really content with longing and hopelessness? It's not out of the question, I suppose that it could just be another aspect of my personality. But that just brings up the question of whether or not it's something I ingrained into myself through habit, something where I just kinda accepted that feeling such things is normal, okay, and what I want; or is it something I was born with, or that we're all born with? Is it a side effect of love, expecting impossible desires and the blind hopelessness that follows the end of a four year undertaking?</p>
<p><em>Whatever, you're rambling.</em>
Guilty, conspirator.
<em>Hushya.</em></p>
<p>There was a LAN in here (Caffe Sole) earlier, they just left.</p>
<p>Earlier today, I went to my dad's to go shopping with Julie. Belmar kinda sucks, but I got some nice clothes. Hooray for stereotypical women. After that, I came back and had dinner with my mom. I went out to get some more applications, and that's when the cyan took over. Now I'm just switching randomly between Dvorak and QWERTY. I suppose I should pick one</p>
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<p>Got my dorm stuffs. Braiden Room 170. My roommate is one Francisco G. According to the address they gave me for him, he's already living in Braiden in a different room. I'm guessing this means that he's going to summer school, which probably means that he's not a Freshman. Terby, you know him? I believe his room number is 143..</p>
<p>Anyhoo, yes, there's much I have to do in regards to that stuff, but more immediately, I need a job. if I don't get one, I have to work for my dad, which is more awful than it sounds. I've got a buttload of applications, one interview under my belt, and I've 'expressed interest' in two bank teller positions. I hope I get something, quick x.x</p>
<p>In other news, my most recent experience with Her was mystifying. Granted it's only my second, it still confused the b'jeezus out of me. There was no fright however, like the last time; however, my room didn't try to eat me, which helped immensely. A bit of 2x had me wishing for at least a little more to push me over the edge from scattered thoughts to flowing thoughts, so I added about the same amount of 5x as last time and lay down in my bed. I closed my eyes and visions of an autumnal forest setting of my body swept me up in yellow-gold leaves, the wind pushing me down along the contours of my body turned to stone. A concerned old woman in a flower-print dress and a flower-print apron tried to give me advice, and at first I thought it was Her, but the green divinity isn't quite so trite and godmotherly. The Lady Sage later showed herself in a face of still-green leaves and basically told me that I wasn't ready to talk with her yet, and that, for some temporary-ish answers, I should look in myself, so I did and learned some.</p>
<p>After that, I boiled down some Calea to make a resin, since it's so incredibly bitter, despite the wonderful smell of it's brew, and headed out to walk to Movie Gallery for the first Harry Potter, but ended up getting the second because the it was mis-filed. I was so confused, but I watched it anyway ^^ Mom watched some, until the disk fucked up from being scratched. She went to bed, and I got it working again to finish the movie. After that, I stayed up practicing Ginsberg's America for Facets, which is in a few weeks.</p>
<p>Kory. Gosh, I'm obsessing
<em>No shit, sherlock</em>
But.. eh!
<em>As I thought.&lt;/em</p>
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<h1>Zk | Mwerf.</h1>
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<p>I decided to exchange sleep for watching Amelie. It made me sad. Now I'm awake, and reading about drugs. Woo.</p>
<p>I know I haven't written much about Michael recently, but I guess when everything seems pretty cool, it doesn't feel like there's a whole lot to write about. We just sorta threw everything out the window (the window, the window, the second story window...) and got rid of all the labels and ideas we had for the relationship, and aren't calling it anything. Samir tried to define it, so I just went along with whatever he said and kept my lack of names to myself. We've been fairly close recently, and I'm feeling pretty good about that. Moondog seems to be happy as well ^</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-06-06 01:13:45</p>
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<p><em>It's the immediacy, the seamless immediacy...
sometimes it's like she doesn't do much
of anything at all, but how many plants
do nothing with such clarity!</em></p>
<p>I'd like to chant, perhaps Emmeleia.
<em>Or.. you could come up with something on your own.
You know, do something productive with Nanon.</em>
There's a thought. I still need to do those spells for Androo.
<em>Exactly. Productive</em>
I've noticed that, while my emotional colors are fading, you're becoming more prominent.
Who are you?
<em>I'm a meme; I'm the idea of Lady Sage and Master Yage,
or maybe Eris and God. Are they the same?
I'm me.
I'm you. Are they the same?
I'm the fifth line of five.</em>
You're an elusive bugger, that's what you are.
<em>Damn straight.</em>
You're depressing, too.</p>
<p>...hello</p>
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<h1>Zk | Mwelp.</h1>
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<p>I asked a question of the cards and the stones last night. It was kinda depressing, but I feel like I'm already starting to fulfill. That made me incredibly sad, and now I'm clinging to a dream, a fading emotion that was once so prevalent as to take over all other thoughts and burn pink and red in the right side of my brain. If I'm letting go of something that gripped me so tightly, would I do something just as quick if not quicker to other emotions?
<em>Remember, you once proclaimed that you attained enlightenment, that it took two hours of quiet time in bed</em>
I remember freaking Rynden out with that. I told him I loved him.
<em>Do you?</em>
I... it is difficult to speak. I do, I suppose.
<em>Well, then.</em>
I'm lost.
<em>Just remember that lancing white light</em>
Will it help me find my way?
<em>No, but it sure as hell feels good.
Or maybe that is the way.</em>
I need a job.
<em>Can't help ya there.</em>
<small>Please forgive these conversations with my <em>Ally</em>. If they get annoying, I'll make them private, but they really are helping me out, and they're kinda fun to read. For me at least.&lt;/small</p>
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<h1>Zk | Androo</h1>
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<p>Your spells. If you need them to be shorter, leave out the parts in parentheses. The å character in MS Word is Ctrl+@,a (hold down ctrl while hitting shift-2, then a). You can copy-paste it into photoshop or whatever from there.</p>
<p>Lightning: <em>Roevi set kåtik (ato za majarbåti t'n)</em> -- Translation: The lightning is grown (and it will run)
Fire: <em>Roevi set kålar (ato za majarbåti t'n)</em> -- Translation: The fire is grown (and it will run)</p>
<p>I'm thinking spells for summoning of elements will all be pretty much the same. Just in case, the word for rain is <em>s'sit</em>; bodily energy, strength, or willpower is <em>ganon</em>.</p>
<p>Let me know if you need any others. Also, if you want them in the native script of the language, let me know, and maybe we can work something out.</p>
<p>Oh, and for posterity, <a href="http://princessofjustice.com/canadia.php">Canadia.</a> Thanks, <lj user="alcarilinque"></lj></p>
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<p>Added more.
<details text="Quizles"><summary>Quizles</summary>
<center><table style="margin:0px 80px 0px 80px; border:none;"><tr><td style="border:solid #ff0000 3px; background-color:#bb0000; padding:10px; text-align:center; color:#ff8888; font:x-large Trebuchet,sans-serif;"><i>Rannafox</i>'s bits are best described as his "<b>colossal powerhouse</b>".</td></tr></table></center>
<form action="http://quiz.ravenblack.net/privates.pl" method="GET" style="text-align:center;">What's yours? Enter your name: <input name="n" size="12" type="text"/> <select name="g"><option value="m">Male</option><option value="f">Female</option></select> <input type="submit" value="Engorge!"/><br/><a href="http://quiz.ravenblack.net/privates.pl">Privates Eye</a></form>
<table align="center" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" style="font-family : Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid black;"><form action="http://memegen.net/viewmeme.pl?un=UMAJohnnie&amp;meme=1060993930" method="POST"><tr><th bgcolor="#000000" colspan="2"><font color="#DDDD88">What Are You Most Likely to Utter During Sex
by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/hekitty"><font color="#DDDD88">UMAJohnnie</font></a></font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Name</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input name="Name" size="20" type="text" value="Ranna"/></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Sexuality</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input name="Sexuality" size="20" type="text" value="homosexual"/></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Age</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input name="Age" size="20" type="text" value="18"/></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Most Likely to Say</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">"Oh just twist it, make a point, and stick it in."
</span></td></tr><input name="un" type="hidden" value="UMAJohnnie"/><input name="meme" type="hidden" value="1060993930"/><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="#000000" colspan="2"><input type="submit" value="Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!"/></td></tr><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="#000000" colspan="2"><font color="#FFFFFF" size="-1">Created with the ORIGINAL <a href="http://memegen.deskslave.org/"><font color="#DDDD88">MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" style="font-family : Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid black;"><form action="http://memegen.net/viewmeme.pl?un=Kat007&amp;meme=1060642037" method="POST"><tr><th bgcolor="#000000" colspan="2"><font color="#DDDD88">Who were you in a past life?
by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/vamp_kat"><font color="#DDDD88">Kat007</font></a></font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Name:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input name="Name:" size="20" type="text" value="Ranna"/></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Birthdate:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input name="Birthdate:" size="20" type="text" value="01/21/1986"/></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Favorite Color:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input name="Favorite Color:" size="20" type="text" value="Green"/></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Country:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input name="Country:" size="20" type="text" value="America"/></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">You were most probably:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">A pirate
</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">If not then you were:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">Julius Ceasar
</span></td></tr><input name="un" type="hidden" value="Kat007"/><input name="meme" type="hidden" value="1060642037"/><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="#000000" colspan="2"><input type="submit" value="Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!"/></td></tr><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="#000000" colspan="2"><font color="#FFFFFF" size="-1">Created with the ORIGINAL <a href="http://memegen.deskslave.org/"><font color="#DDDD88">MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table></p>
<p>&lt;/details</p>
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<h1>Zk | Nguh.</h1>
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<p>Even though, when brewed as a tea, blue/white lotus is a sedative, I can't sleep. And I had quite a bit of that tea, too. I've worked myself into a sort of panic mode whereby I'm <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/moondogdragon/56919.html">afraid to leave the phone</a>, even though there's one by my bed. I'm afraid that I might miss something. I left my mom a note, since she really cares about Michael, but I'm hoping she doesn't try and take it into her own hands, like she's done it before. I think I might go add that to the note before my body gives up and crashes like it wants to</p>
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<title>Zk | Um.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Um.</h1>
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<p>I just wrote a story today. An erotic story. Note, not yiffy, erotic. Humans. Gosh! I'm embarassed. Talk to me if you want to read (I never said I wasn't proud) ^^
<em>Who's it about?</em>
No one, really. At least not consciously.
<em>Really now...</em></p>
<p>Anyhoo, didn't sleep at all last night except for a nap after dinner 'cause of panic and Moondoggy. I was so afraid 'cause he didn't call, and I started imagining the worst. Even after I talked with him online, my imagination wouldn't let me sleep, so I up I stayed, obsessing over things like music, and Sadi.
<em>I'll give you that: you're damn good at obsessing</em>
Proud of it ^^
<em>...curses.</em>
<a href="http://us.vclart.net/vcl/Artists/Firebringer/FoxFluffTriptych.JPG">Fox Fluff Triptych</a></p>
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<title>Zk | Oh good God!</title>
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<h1>Zk | Oh good God!</h1>
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<p><a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/images/.punkrock.jpg">Hideous!&lt;/a</p>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>Moondog's dad just showed up. Now the worryfest begins in earnest</p>
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<title>Zk | *Frenzy*</title>
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<h1>Zk | *Frenzy*</h1>
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<p>AhjeezthingshappenedandstuffandIdon'tknowhowtofeelandthingsareallrightaretheyormaybetheyaren'tthatgoodbutthey'reokayandIdon'tknowhowto</p>
<p><small>feel.</small></p>
<p>I took a sleeping pill. I should've taken two. I got three hours, laid in bed for another hour, and had to get up. Second night I can't sleep.</p>
<p>I'm glad for Michael. I think. <em>confused</em></p>
<details text="[Edit: Clarification]"><summary>[Edit: Clarification]</summary>The way things worked out seemed sort of.. anticlimatic. I'm glad for Michael in that his dad was so.. accepting? At least, not condemning. That's cool, I guess, but I'm still not sure how I feel about the situation, which is why I feel sort of blank. Emotions are cancelling each other out.
As for sleep, I'm hoping I'll naturally get tired again later on. I think I just had a cat-moment. You know, *frizz*zip!*stop!*poofle*nonchalant* I have another Nytol to take in case I don't, but Nytol leads to really unnatural sleep. Oh well.
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<p>Finally got to sleep at 7 AM (no thanks to the second Nytol, which I took at 3). Got another few hours of really bad sleep. My head's changed from feeling like wool to feeling like wood: hollow. In other news, I feel like I don't matter much, and mexican food makes my tummy rumble</p>
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<title>Zk | Myorp.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Myorp.</h1>
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<p>Okie, so I cleaned out my car to put branches in it to dump them.
<em>You feel accomplished at that?</em>
Well.. yeah. It was really dirty :o)
<em>Get to the point.</em>
Fine. I got a call tonight from Shanerak of all people. We talked for an hour and a half about what's been going on with each of us, and even slipped back into our old habits of making jokes about how over the top and weird some furs are. He's going to a gemology trade school in Carlsbad, CA, and things he might move out to Boulder when he's done with that, which would be cool. He's a neat person to hang around.
<em>So you like him, then?</em>
Well.. yeah, I suppose. That long together and it's hard not to at least reminisce about the good times, no matter how long ago or distant they seem.
<em>You think too much.</em></p>
<p>In other news, I told my mom about not sleeping, and she banned me from having tea ;.; It made me sad, but she's right. I should lay off the caffeine. I'm not tired now, which is odd, considering how little I've slept.
<em>Hyped up from talking to your ex?</em>
Hushya. Mom gave me a Vicodin to help me sleep tonight. I'm gonna take it here while I read Michael's entry before it's too late to get a good night's sleep</p>
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<title>Zk | Damnit.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Damnit.</h1>
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<p>Despite abstaining from caffeine, despite feeling tired, despite the vic taken three hours ago, despite certain ah... activities which usually make me tired, I cannot sleep. I tried for an hour and a half.
<em>You opened it, didn't you. That book...</em>
I read a little.
<em>Oh no...</em>
I didn't really even realize what I'd done until I turned the page. Started reading. I skipped all of Truant's stuff, though. I was just interested in reading about the <font color="blue">house</font>.
<em>Shit.</em>
I'm gonna send Kris an email with my stuff for Facets, then see if I can't pry the book from my hands and go to bed.
<em>Good luck. Seriously.&lt;/em</p>
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<title>Zk | How to drive Matt insane.</title>
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<h1>Zk | How to drive Matt insane.</h1>
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<p>I fell asleep! Hah! I did it! I fell asleep naturally at about 7 this morning! I'd even been sleeping for about five hours when, lo, the phone rings and wakes me up. It's my mom. She informs me that she's been thinking; if I don't get a job this summer, how am I going to be able to afford books? After all, I am paying for them, right?</p>
<p>IT WOULD FOR GOD DAMN SURE BE EASIER IF I WEREN'T STILL PAYING FOR YOUR STUPID DIVORCE, FREAK. I drive 44 to 66 miles a week to go between your house and my dad's house because you two had a tiff and refuse to at least resolve it by paying for your only son's gas while you make him drive between the two goddamn houses. </p>
<p>The math gives me $2520 over the past two and a half years I've been driving. Now, if I didn't want to eat or pay for the music I own, much less anything else, sure, I could do that out of my allowance, but life's just not that simple, is it? And now I have $300 in the bank and a projected $500 for books.</p>
<p>Irate only begins to describe how I feel right now, because I'm about to drive another handful of dollars down the drain for my mom to drop off a load of branches for her at the dump. Honestly, I just feel like strewing them about the living room about now and leaving for a few days. Park my car or something and just sleep in it for a few days</p>
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<title>Zk | Ahem...</title>
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<h1>Zk | Ahem...</h1>
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<p>Now that today's intense emotional blast is over with...</p>
<p>I went back to bed and slept a lot more, which felt really good, and now I'm not nearly so angry. I broke the light-switch plate in the big room downstairs, so I'm afraid I might have to replace that sometime... Anyway, my Diviner's Three showed up today. I still don't know if IAS wants me to send them back the Dreamers Blend. Woke up to the doorbell. Ryan and Nicku. Bugged Nicku a little about Azumanga. Yeah..</p>
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<title>Zk | Yerp.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Yerp.</h1>
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<p>Went to Sherpa's with mom, complained to her about the Quantum lab tech situation, she seemed to understand how that kinda really screwed me up. Sherpa's changed the recipe for their tomato chutney. I was disappointed, until I realized that the burn was still there, just more intriguing. Unfortunately, they didn't give me any of the chutney in the doggie bag... er, box.</p>
<p>I just finished moving all of my GYBE, Mogwai, and Alamaailman Vasarat to my laptop. I should really see how much space I have left on it. Shouldn't fill it all up...</p>
<p>Still need to call my roommate.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-06-14 18:39:59</p>
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<title>Zk | I spent too long looking for this quote not to put it in here.a</title>
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<h1>Zk | I spent too long looking for this quote not to put it in here.a</h1>
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<p>Amelie: I feel a change. I had two heart attacks, an abortion, and did crack while I was pregnant. Other than that, I'm fine</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-06-15 16:30:26</p>
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<h1>Zk | Huh? Oh! Ow!</h1>
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<tr><td><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Your problem:</b> </font></td><td bgcolor="#DDF3D8"><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>you are on fire</b></font></td></tr>
<tr><td><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Number of times each day it is an issue:</b> </font></td><td bgcolor="#DDF3D8"><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>25</b></font></td></tr>
<tr><td bgcolor="black"><font style="color : White; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Will you ever resolve this problem?:</b> </font></td><td bgcolor="black"><font style="color : White; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(8)<i> - <b>Most likely.</b></i> - (8)</font></td></tr>
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<p><font style="font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">New - Kwiz.Biz <a href="http://astrology.kwiz.biz" style="text-decoration: none;">Astrology</a>&lt;/font</p>
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<h1>Zk | Mweh,</h1>
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<details text="Damn, that is a long quiz."><summary>Damn, that is a long quiz.</summary>
*LAYER ONE:*
Name: Ranna
Birthday: 1986
Birthplace: Denver, CO
Current Location: Boulder, CO
School: CSU.
Eye Color: Apparently yellow in the middle, greenish hazel beyond that, bordered by.. blueish?
Hair Color: Dark brown.
Height: 6'2"-ish
Righty or Lefty: Right
Zodiac Sign: Water Bearer, Aquarius.
*LAYER TWO*:
Your Heritage: Wanna know? Heh. Black, Cherokee, Choctaw, Sioux, Irish, Scottish, English, Russian, Polish, and German.
The Shoes You Wore Today: Boulder shoes.
Your Weakness: Ignorance.
Your Fears: Heights, rejection, being hated, myself.
Your Perfect Pizza: White pizza with pepperoni o.o
Goal You'd Like To Achieve: Right now, autonomy, both from my parents, and, in a sense, from my friends. I'd like to know they're their, but not to have to rely on that so much.
*LAYER THREE*:
Your Most Overused Phrase on AIM: ^^
Your Thoughts First Waking Up: Waking... up..?
Your Best Physical Feature: Eyes.
Your Bedtime: Bed..?
Your Most Missed Memory: Shanerak.
*LAYER FOUR*:
Pepsi or Coke: Dr. Pepper.
McDonald's or Burger King: Wendy's.
Single or Group Dates: No dates, not right now.
Adidas or Nike: Merrell
Backstreet Boys or Nsync: Alamaailman Vasarat
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Twinnings
Chocolate or Vanilla: Coffee.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Tea.
(Heh, I'm difficult)
*LAYER FIVE*:
Smoke: Not cigarettes..
Cuss: Yeah
Take a shower everyday: Every few hours, it seems.
Have a Crush(es): Not now.
Do You Think You've Been In Love?: Always.
Want To Go To College: Yeah
Like(d) High School?: It had it's moments.
Want To Get Married?: I don't know.
Believe In Yourself?: Yes.
Get Motion Sickness?: On occasion.
Think you're attractive?: On occasion.
Think You're a Health freak?: On occasion.
Get Along With Your Parent(s)?: ...on occasion o.o
Like Thunderstorms?: ...on occasion O.O
Play An Instrument?: ...on occasion @.@
*LAYER SIX*:
*In the past month, have you...
Drank Alcohol: No.
Smoked: Yes, but not cigarettes (okie, I had a puff of a Virginia Super Slim, but that's just cause they're so cute! o.o)
Done A Drug: Yes
Had Sex: No
Made Out: Yes
Gone On A Date: Sorta.
Gone To The Mall: Yes.
Eaten An Entire Box Of Oreos: No, but I finished one last night.
Eaten Sushi: Not this month..
Been Dumped: I don't know..?
Gone Skating: Nope.
Made Homemade Cookies: No, but I made pie.
Gone Skinny Dipping: Nope
Dyed Your Hair: No
Stolen Anything: No
*LAYER SEVEN*:
*Have You Ever...
Played a game that required removal of clothing: No.
If so, was it mixed company: No.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes
Been caught "doing something": Hahaha, almost
Been called a tease: Lots.
Gotten beaten up: Yup.
Shoplifted: Yup.
Changed who you were to fit in: All the time
*LAYER EIGHT*:
Age you hope to be married: Dunno.
Numbers and Names of Children: Mort! No, probably couldn't do kids...
Describe your Dream Wedding: Something quiet. A handfasting with a handful of friends.
How do you want to die: for love.
Where you want to go to college: CSU
What do you want to be when you grow up: All that I can.
What country would you most like to visit: Lots.
*LAYER NINE*:
*In a guy/girl...
Best eye color: Whatever suits them
Best hair color: Whatever they've got.
Short or long hair: Whatever they want.
Height: Whatever they are.
Best weight: Not skinny to the point of being bony.
Best articles of clothing: Whatever they wear.
Best first date location: o/~ Lets go out to dinner and see a movie.. o/~
*LAYER TEN*:
Number of drugs taken illegally: Smoked pot (didn't like it), smoked underage (made me sick), drank underage (didn't like it).
Number of people I could trust with my life: A good number.
Number of CDs that I own: Too much work to count.
Number of piercings: None.
Number of tattoos: None.
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Once or twice.
Number of scars on my body: Dunno.
Number of things in my past that I regret: One thing. Only a few people know.
~If I Were... ~
If I were a month I would be: Dunno.
If I were a day of the week I would be: Days have lost meaning.
If I were a time of day I would be: Gloaming.
If I were a planet I would be: Earth.
If I were a sea animal I would be: Angler-fish, maybe.
If I were a direction, I would be: Inwards.
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: A love-sac o.o
If I were a sin I would be: Why would I be a sin?
If I were a historical figure, I would be: Myself (I'm a dreamer).
If I were a liquid, I would be: Ovaltine!
If I were a tree, I would be: A redwood.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: Guess.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Boulder weather.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: Bamboo flute.
If I were an animal, I would be: Fox.
If I were a color, I would be: Green.
If I were a vegetable, I would be: Comatose (heh hah heh)
If I were a sound, I would be: a reedy flute.
If I were an element, I would be: spirit.
If I were a car, I would be: Something that fits my purpose. So.. not a suburban..
If I were a song, I would be: Thomas Tallis' Spem in Alium
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: The director.
If I were a book, I would be written by: The author.
If I were a food, I would be: Chicken momos with a spicy tomato chutney o.o;
If I were a place, I would be: well loved.
If I were a material, I would be: P-suede-o
If I were a taste, I would be: Curry.
If I were a scent, I would be: Amber, from L'Occitane.
If I were a question, I would be: Rhetorical.
If I were an object, I would be: A candle
If I were a word, I would be: o/~ Love in any language... o/~
If I were a body part I would be: The inner thigh.
If I were a facial expression I would be: Sleep.
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Naota, maybe?
If I were a number I would be: 5.
~Current...~
current Clothes: White button up shirt, white cotton T, white khakis, white socks, gray underwear, tan shoes.
Current Mood: Disappointed.
Current Taste: Iron from split lip.
Current Hair: Fro (damn you, Samir).
Current Annoyance: Myself.
Current Smell: Um.. lingering smell of whatever my mom made
Current thing I ought to be doing: Showering, then sleeping.
Current Favorite Group: The group I'm planning on starting at CSU.
Current Book: Robert Silverberg - <u>Roma Eterna</u>, Mikhail Bulgakov - <u>The Master and Margarita</u>, Milan Kundera - <u>The Eternal Lightness of Being</u>, Dale Pendell - <u>Pharmako/poeia</u>.
Current DVD in Player: "Amelie"
Current Refreshment: Nuffin.
Current Worry: Myself.
Current Favorite Celebrity: I have a hard time liking celebrities.
~Last...~
Last Car Ride: Home from coffee.
Last Kiss: Moondog, after Facets, before coffee.
Last Good Cry: Frustration/tiredness from no sleep last night.
Last Library Book Checked Out: Rachel Kranz and somebody - <u>Gay Rights</u>
Last Movie Seen: "Amelie".
Last Beverage Drank: Mocha (damnit)
Last Food Consumed: A little bit of ramen left in the pan.
Last phone call: From.. um.. my mom, yesterday after my physical.
Last TV Show Watched: TV...?
Last Time Showered: Earlier today.
Last Shoes Worn: boulder shoes.
Last CD played: Put my Alamaailman Vasarat CDs on my laptop yesterday.
Last Item Bought: Mocha.
Last Downloaded: Sibelius updates for Kory.
Last Soda Drank: Ginger beer.
Last Thing Written: A story I'm not allowed to write.
Last Time Amused: At coffee, re: Samir's mom.
Last Time Hugged: After coffee.
Last Lipstick Used: Long, long time ago.
~This or that?~
Me / You: Both
Coke / Pepsi: Redundant.
Day / Night: In between.
AOL / AIM: AIM
CD / Cassette: CD
DVD / VHS: DVD
Jeans / Khakis: Khakis
Car / Truck: Truck
Tall / Short: Tall
Lunch / Dinner: Dunch
BSD/JSOS/DV8:
Britney / Christina:
Gap / Old Navy: Old Navy makes good clothes fo' cheap.
Lipstick / Lipgloss: Burt's Beeswax chapstick :o9
Silver / Gold: diamondwood.
Alcohol/Weed: Salvia.
~I...~
I AM: THAT I AM. Hehe. I'm confused at myself.
I WANT: resolution.
I NEED: Someone to snug.
I HAVE: Too much.
I WISH: I could sleep.
I FEAR: Myself.
I HEAR: The people sing.. singing the songs of angry men..
I SEE: Nothing in my future.
I WONDER: Why not?
I LOVE: I love.
I ACHE: sorta.
I AM NOT: Yiffy, attracted, or otherwise up to dealing with other people closely.
I DANCE: When no one's looking.
I CRY: When I cry.
I WRITE: Always.
I WIN: Too much.
I LOSE: Myself
I CONFUSE: Myself.
I SHOULD: Sleep.
I LOOK: and never seem to find.
I FOUND: That the innocence I aspire to is incompatible with others.
I LEARNED: the hard way.
I AM STILL: Learning.
I PRAY: Out of love.
</details
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<h1>Zk | Aaaand now for some real content.</h1>
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<p>Woke up early, 'cause I thought Kory was coming over, but he got delayed and didn't make it over until 2ish. We futzed around with Sibelius for a while, though we didn't get it to register on his computer. I didn't realize until I found myself lying next to him on the floor, showing him how to work my ebook, that the crush I've had on him for a year and a half has diminished greatly, to the point where I think of him as a nice looking friend. This bothered me for much of the rest of the day</p>
<p>Facets. Done. Enough said.</p>
<p>Coffee. Been getting some mixed signals from Michael regarding how close we are. Need to talk to him about that, but when it occurred to me, he'd gone off to sit by himself. Also, want to talk a little about closure. I don't feel like we really had much with how the relationship ended. I guess those are kinda related, 'cause I'm not sure how to act around him. Anyway, that's for Michael and I. Talked with Samir when said lunaecanis left, told him he was pretty, and immediately regretted it. Not because he isn't, but because I feel like so much that I say comes loaded with obligation, mostly societal, that I'm not really comfortable with. Talked with him more just now online about how I couldn't possibly be the Son of God/Fount of Love/person I had previously hoped to be, and how that has affected my relationships.</p>
<p>If I fucked up writing that, ask me.
<em>You're worried?</em>
Frankly, yeah. Where've you been?
<em>Eating your hormones, why?</em>
Pbbth. Screw you. It's time to turn my headphones up too loud, turn out the lights, and meditate myself into a religious ecstasy.
<em>Haha. Good luck.&lt;/em</p>
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<title>Zk | I see what I'm doing.</title>
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<h1>Zk | I see what I'm doing.</h1>
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<p>I'm trying to avoid the "profound perversity of a world that rests essentially on the nonexistence of return." A world I can't fix. A world in which everything happens once and now the lightness is getting to me.
<em>It's a book, Ranna.</em>
I know, but it's also an outlook on life, like every book. <u>The Unbearable Lightness of Being</u> is indirectly showing me why I feel hopeless: because everything happens only once, and seems to have no weight, no responsibility attached.
<em>Oh, but they do! They're light, but they're not weightless. That's why you're having a hard time with the book</em>
True, but I'm generalizing.
<em>All generalizations are evil.</em>
Haha. Honestly, though. I really think I should make more use of the friends and private settings in LJ. While I feel that I should be open, I think it might add some weight to my life.
<em>Or maybe your delete key.</em>
Just for that, I'm making this public and not even re-reading it. Apologies in advance</p>
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<title>Zk | Salvia experiences link</title>
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<h1>Zk | Salvia experiences link</h1>
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<p>http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=3440</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-06-17 06:35:28</p>
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<title>Zk | A choir, over the summer.</title>
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<h1>Zk | A choir, over the summer.</h1>
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<p>I'm not sure why this struck me as a good idea, other than it would give me some purpose in life for these three months (lack of job + spare time = bad thoughts). I've got a whole lot of sheet music, though most of it's classical, that we could try and learn...</p>
<p>Anyway, I couldn't sleep last night, so I slept all of today. Set my alarm for 11 after going to bed at 9, woke up at 4:30 when my mom came home. She thinks I'm sick. I think I'm a loser</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-06-17 19:51:17</p>
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<title>Zk | Splap.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Splap.</h1>
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<p>I talked s'more with Shanerak tonight. Some dangerous feelings there. I dunno what to do about them, either.
<em><em>Yawn</em> But what's new...</em>
Shut up.</p>
<p>Oh, I started that story Shan was thinking about writing, about people becoming furs, since he has yet to do anything about it and we talked about it two or three years ago. It's turning out to be harder to write than <a href="http://ranna.ath.cx/Light.htm">stream of consciousness porn</a> or <a href="http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=34401">stupidity with drugs</a>, but go figure. By the way, don't click on the first link unless you really do want to read gay stream of consciousness erotica, and don't click on the second if you don't want to read sagely ramblings. Don't complain, either :o</p>
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<title>Zk | Yay!</title>
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<h1>Zk | Yay!</h1>
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<p>Got woken up by a lonely smoke alarm pining for company this morning..</p>
<p>Wait. This morning! Yee! I slept through the night! Finally! Anyway, as soon as I started to search for the beeping smoke alarm to replace it's battery and give it some tender luvvin's, it stopped beeping.</p>
<p>In other news, I'm not allowed to take a shower in my bathroom for a while so that my mom can recaulk the tub, so I put a big ol' sign up on the door written in Nanon script. I'm such a loser ^</p>
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<title>Zk | Crap.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Crap.</h1>
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<p>Took a nap and accidentally slept through dinner. I wish my parents would wake me up for dinner, it would make things a lot easier for both of us</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-06-19 18:17:03</p>
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<title>Zk | Mwelp...</title>
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<h1>Zk | Mwelp...</h1>
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<p>Got up at 4:30. I may be turning into a morning person.
<em>Heh heh heh.</em>
What are you laughing at, punk?
<em>My rootlets! My neural rootlets! I'm laying them down; becoming contageous.</em>
Whoa now.. don't get too full of yourself...
<em>Pbbth.</em>
I could always, you know, pull the plug. Refuse to type another em or i tag...
<em>Go eat your breakfast. You know you want it; Chex Mix and tangerine Emer'gen-C. Yum yum.&lt;/em</p>
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<title>Zk | Ugh.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Ugh.</h1>
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<p>It's that time again! Nap time! And I think napping would not be very conducive to <strong>not</strong> sleeping through dinner, so I'm gonna tough it out for a while.</p>
<p>In other news, I'm kinda eager for this sleepoverdoohickey. Haven't seen Kiran in a while, and I gotta admit, I kinda miss him.</p>
<p>Ally's already asleep -.</p>
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<h1>Zk | Haha</h1>
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<p><a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/gallery/album19/P6190020">I'm a geek ^^&lt;/a</p>
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<h1>Zk | Nightmare</h1>
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<p>I just finished <u>Kiss Me, Judas</u>. This book is exceedingly dark in a post-modern sort of way. I would highly recommend it to anyone who is into horror, noir, and/or slightly gory books. I'm willing to lend it to people if they want.</p>
<p>In other news, got the Pathfinder towed ;.; I miss my twuck. I hope they figure out what's wrong with it. Just waiting for the call now..</p>
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<title>Zk | Invoice - Hope my parents are paying!</title>
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<h1>Zk | Invoice - Hope my parents are paying!</h1>
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<p>Sublet -- TOWING 60.00
Labor -- 1 CHECK OUT WONT START.NO SPARK IGN. COIL IS BAD 112.50
Part -- UF 38 IGN. COIL 108.35</p>
<p>Warranty is 12 mo. / 12000 mi.</p>
<p>Hazmat: $2.00
Supplies: $8.63
Tax: $8.96</p>
<p>Total: $300.4</p>
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<p>RannaFox: <em>giggles at a <a href="http://www.365gay.com/newscon04/06/062104popeSpain.htm">story</a></em> "Socialist leader Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero was summoned to the Vatican to hear the papal blast just weeks after Zapatero announced his government would bring in a bill to allow gay marriage."
RannaFox: Set the Papal blasters to stun!
senotay2: heh ^</p>
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<h1>Zk | Ohyeah.</h1>
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<p>Doctors appointment tomorrow. This time for shots (tetanus and meningitis) and more blood-work, this time with a big meal and lots of water beforehand (last time, with the fasting blood-work, I had high-end-of-normal haemoglobin and bilirubin counts [bilirubin is a byproduct of haemoglobin degradation, and is normal; in high amounts it's part of the cause of the yellow tinge in jaundice patients], so another liver panel it is).</p>
<p>...damn, I need a job</p>
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<p>Someone wanna do lunch before my appointment thingy? ^</p>
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<h1>Zk | Heh. Heh. Heh.</h1>
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<p>I haven't written anything of substance for days!</p>
<p>But I did buy an cigarettes for a minor</p>
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<h1>Zk | Apologies</h1>
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<p>Apologies to Michael and Samir for freaking out at them. I guess I'm still good for clubbing, but I need to check with parents... I'll call later.</p>
<p>Also to Kanu and Kianir, neither of whom read this (I think), for having to deal with me last night</p>
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<title>Zk | I confuse myself (within my flower... heh)</title>
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<h1>Zk | I confuse myself (within my flower... heh)</h1>
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<p>I had a dream about Kory last night. It was nice. A little too nice, though. I guess I'm not completely over him.
<em>Go figure...</em>
You're back!
<em>Yeah. Your front.</em>
Heh x.x Anyhoo, not sure about Shan now, either.
<em>Were you ever?</em>
Good question. I mentioned something to Michael and Samir about having gotten lost somewhere along the line, and I think I know when: Rynden. I did something when that whole thing was going on, and.. I dunno. I just kinda started making decisions that were separate from my path, separate from my ideal. I don't regret them, and most of them I enjoy or would've made anyway, but I feel like it wasn't really me that made them.
<em>That had nothing really to do with Shan. Anyway, you know everyone does that, right? Everyone has multiple Aspects of themselves (just look at me) and sometimes an Aspect will make a decision behind your back (seemingly) and it will feel like someone else.</em>
But then, maybe it is.
<em>Careful, or you'll start to sound like me.</em>
Hah. In other news, Erowid sent me their newsletter, or, rather, two of them. When I donated, The agreement was that I would get two of the semi-annual Erowid Extracts, and I thought that meant that I'd get one from the middle of this year and one from the beginning of next year, but instead, I got one from the middle of this year, and one from the end of last year. Oh well. Good stuff, really. Now I'm just waiting for the rest of the Pharmako/ series and the sheet music for Whitacre's A Boy and a Girl.</p>
<p>Oop, mom's home</p>
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<p>Off to a sleepover. Good thing my dad just paid me for something as simple as mowing the lawn, otherwise the gas wouldn't be worth it. Gonna bring laptop and Bebop. NICK SHOULD BRING AZUMANGA DAIOH!!!!!! Yes he should oh yes he should *coo</p>
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<title>Zk | Andrew</title>
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<h1>Zk | Andrew</h1>
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<p>The lyrics to Green Bird are in a constructed language: a made up language by either the composer, Yoko Kanno, or the singer, Gabriela Robin</p>
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<title>Zk | Yipku</title>
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<h1>Zk | Yipku</h1>
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<p>I have a post half-written about the sleepover, but it's on my laptop, and I can't wedge it into the network at the moment, so I'll replace this with it later</p>
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<h1>Zk | Hmm.</h1>
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<p>At ye oulde Sleepover of doom, currently, and now, at five fifty one in the morning, all but Androo and I are trying to sleep. Kiran curled up on the lounge chair, Ryan wrapped in his cloak as an amorphous black blob on the couch with Nicku being an amorphous white blob nearby. Jeff and Brian are sharing the bed, Jeff already asleep and Brian sleeping like Macleish did: on his back, arms crossed in a blatant refusal to even look like he might be relaxed enough to even to be remotely considered gay.</p>
<p>Hahaha, now they've found the fold-out bed and Kiran's playing good host as Ryan and Nick shift to it.. <i>while I type on ranna's blog
~Anteru</i></p>
<p>Christ.. this is really difficult! ^^</p>
<p>Kiran looks really, really tired, and at six twenty two, no one has yet made it to sleep. Nick was even forced to take a melatonin.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>Yeesh. Okie, now, two days later. Kiran did eventually make it to sleep for about an hour and a half before we decided to get donuts and coffee at Safeway. That done (a difficult experience, trust me), we headed back and futzed around before Ryan and Nick left. With them gone, we goofed around a little more while Brian and Jeff slept. I piled on Kiran and annoyed him some while Andrew dozed, maybe. I might've dozed a little too, since Kiran makes a good pillow. I think I made him uncomfortable with my proximity, but I always think that, and he always assures me I don't. I'm not sure I believe him.</p>
<p>Anyhoo, in recent news, I rated all the Bebop music Andrew gave me; lotsa good stuff, some stuff I didn't like. Need to give the Andrew the bumpersticker I got for Moondoggy. </p>
<p>Today, I got emissions and registration done on ye oulde pathfinder, then went home for lunch with fatherfigure. After he left, I collected some wild lettuce sap (for relaxation) and tried to figure out some other weeds in our backyard. One is probably bindweed (wild morning glory, not of any interest to me currently) and the other I positively identified as horsemint. I love the stuff, so I collected some new branches and some tops. I put the tops in some wet paper towels in the hopes that horsemint grows from cuttings, and I dried the leaves of the branches. It's not of much spiritual interest, but I love the smell and the taste (though I may be alone in that respect). I'm curious to explore some more aspects of it, but I'm feeling that it's a kind of blank herb</p>
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<title>Zk | I found a mushroom...</title>
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<p>Just lying there, on the sidewalk. Then I looked around, and realized that the only thing within 20 feet that was actually alive was a rosebush. I was extraordinarily confused. I walked around a little, and eventually found a stand of mushrooms, but not the same kind by a long shot. I'm curious as to what the one I found is... I picked it up in a piece of plastic from my dry cleaning and wrapped it up in it in case it's poisonous. Two guesses so far as to the genus: Armillaria and Amanita. It's odd, I'll take a picture sometime. Wondering as to what the two stands I found in the grass are, now. One I'm pretty sure is the poisonous kind that grows in people's yards around here, but I dunno what the other is. Maybe a picture of that, too.</p>
<p>Odd, I just watched Mushroom Samba last night. o.O</p>
<p>Anyhoo, I took pictures of the house today for marketing, and now I'm at Caffe Sole waiting for the comforters to dry at the Laundromat.</p>
<p>Yipku</p>
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<p>Zim was tempting me today at B&amp;N, so just to show it that I meant business, I bought it! Hah! So there! C.c</p>
<details text="Some herb beer recipes follow; sound interesting?"><summary>Some herb beer recipes follow; sound interesting?</summary>The Nettle Beer made by cottagers is often given to their old folk as a remedy for gouty and rheumatic pains, but apart from this purpose it forms a pleasant drink. It may be made as follows: Take 2 gallons of cold water and a good pailful of washed young Nettle tops, add 3 or 4 large handsful of Dandelion, the same of Clivers (Goosegrass) and 2 OZ. of bruised, whole ginger. Boil gently for 40 minutes, then strain and stir in 2 teacupsful of brown sugar. When lukewarm place on the top a slice of toasted bread, spread with 1 OZ. of compressed yeast, stirred till liquid with a teaspoonful of sugar. Keep it fairly warm for 6 or 7 hours, then remove the scum and stir in a tablespoonful of cream of tartar. Bottle and tie the corks securely. The result is a specially wholesome sort of ginger beer. The juice of 2 lemons may be substituted for the Dandelion and Clivers. Other herbs are often added to Nettles in the making of Herb Beer, such as Burdock, Meadowsweet, Avens Horehound, the combination making a refreshing summer drink.
Formerly every farmhouse inn had a brewing plant and brewhouse attached to the buildings, and all brewed their own beer till the large breweries were established and supplanted home-brewed beers. Many of these farmhouses then began to brew their own 'stingo' from wayside herbs, employing old rustic recipes that had been carried down from generation to generation. The true value of vegetable bitters and of herb beers have yet to be recognized by all sections of the community. Workmen in puddling furnaces and potteries in the Midland and Northern counties find, however, that a tea made of tonic herbs is cheaper and less intoxicating than ordinary beer and patronize the herb beers freely, Dandelion Stout ranking as one of the favourites. It is also made in Canada.
Dandelion is a good ingredient in many digestive or diet drinks. A dinner drink may be made as follows: Take 2 OZ. each of dried Dandelion and Nettle herbs and 1 OZ. of Yellow Dock. Boil in 1 gallon of water for 15 minutes and then strain the liquor while hot on to 2 Lb. of sugar, on the top of which is sprinkled 2 tablespoonsful of powdered Ginger. Leave till milk-warm, then add boiled water gone cold to bring the quantity up to 2 gallons. The temperature must then not be above 75 degrees F. Now dissolve 1/2 oz. solid yeast in a little of the liquid and stir into the bulk. Allow to ferment 24 hours, skim and bottle, and it will be ready for use in a day or two.
A good, pleasant-tasting botanic beer is also made of the Nettle alone. Quantities of the young fresh tops are boiled in a gallon of water, with the juice of two lemons, a teaspoonful of crushed ginger and 1 Lb. of brown sugar. Fresh yeast is floated on toast in the liquor, when cold, to ferment it, and when it is bottled the result is a specially wholesome sort of ginger beer.
Meadow Sweet was also formerly much in favour. The mash when worked with barm made a pleasant drink, either in the harvest field or at the table. It required little sugar, some even made it without any sugar at all.
Another favourite brew was that of armsful of Meadowsweet, Yarrow, Dandelion and Nettles, and the mash when 'sweetened with old honey' and well worked with barm, and then bottled in big stoneware bottles, made a drink strong enough to turn even an old toper's head.
Old honeycomb from the thatch of an ancient cottage, filled with rich and nearly black honey, when boiled into syrup and then strained, was used in the making of herb beer, while the wax was put at the mouths of the hives for the bees.
Dandelion, Meadowsweet and Agrimony, equal quantities of each, would also be boiled together for 20 minutes (about 2 OZ. each of the dried herbs to 2 gallons of water), then strained and 2 lb. of sugar and 1/2 pint of barm or yeast added. This was bottled after standing in a warm place for 12 hours. This recipe is still in use.
A Herb Beer that needs no yeast is made from equal quantities of Meadowsweet, Betony, Agrimony and Raspberry leaves (2 OZ. of each) boiled in 2 gallons of water for 15 minutes, strained, then 2 lb. of white sugar added and bottled when nearly cool.
In some outlying islands of the Hebrides there is still brewed a drinkable beer by making two-thirds Heath tops with one-third of malt.
HOP BITTERS, as an appetiser, to be taken in tablespoonful doses three times in the day before eating, may be made as follows: Take 2 OZ. of Buchu leaves and 1/2 lb. of Hops. Boil these in 5 quarts of water in an iron vessel for an hour. When lukewarm add essence of Winter green (Pyrola) 2 OZ. and 1 pint alcohol.
Another way of making Hop Bitters is to take 1/2 oz. Hops, 1 OZ. Angelica Herb and 1 OZ. Holy Thistle. Pour 3 pints of boiling water on them and strain when cold. A wineglassful may be taken four times a day.
To make a good HOP BEER, put 2 OZ. Hops in 2 quarts of water for 15 minutes. Then strain and dissolve 1 lb. of sugar in the liquor. To this add 4 quarts of cold water and 2 tablespoonsful of fresh barm. Allow to stand for 12 hours in a warm place and it will then be ready for bottling.
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<p>If you want to hear the story, read Shannon's post(s). As for me, I'll provide you with <a href="http://ranna.bolognia.net/gallery/album19/schedule">this</a> lurvely depiction of my life for a while.</p>
<p>Met someone today who was like a more talkative Shanerak. It was odd.</p>
<p>Shower, dinner, then maybe go attack Ryan</p>
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<p>I received a package today: Pharmako/dynamis came. Pharmako/gnosis is all that's left.
~
<h3 align="center">NIGREDO: A TURN OF DARKENING</h3>
<p align="center">~*~</p>
Start from where you are.
Saturnian verses, step zero.</p>
<p>Let's try to get this right from the beginning.</p>
<p><em>Fat chance.</em></p>
<p>Writing versus research, a metaphor there. Which do you do?</p>
<p><em>Some of both. That is surely the poison path. It's all about the dosage</em></p>
<p>The research is the lunar medicine: visionary exploration and dreaming dreams. But the lunar medicine needs a substrate, a sounding board--</p>
<p><em>maybe
    a printing press, a green house, a micrometer,
    a phenethylamine backbone, a classroom of students.</em></p>
<p>Something for the medicine to work upon: the substrate is the solar medicine.</p>
<p><em>a stack of books debating like a council of citizens
    a council of citizens fermenting like a barrel of wine
    a barrel of wine dreaming like a rack of dresses
    a rack of dresses dangling like a toolbelt
    a toolbelt smiling like a scalpel
    a scalpel dropping like a line of hooks
    a line of hooks disappearing like a revolution
    a revolution breathing like a forest</p>
<p>like a palette of colors, or a waiting laboratory,
    or maybe a kitchen, or just a pad of paper,</p>
<p>an equation condensing like a poem,
    a poem listening like a guitar,
    a guitar resonating like a stack of books.</em>
<em>¡Basta! señor.</em> As the man said. Enough.</p>
<p>It is clear that the poison path has to do with a certain excess. Hyperbole: what is the alternative to dying a thousand deaths?</p>
<p><em>Madness!&lt;/em</p>
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<h1>Zk | One of these days, I'll figure out a subject line that fits the topic of the post.</h1>
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<details text="On Datura and Yagé: don't read unless you really want to."><summary>On Datura and Yagé: don't read unless you really want to.</summary>
Datura frightens me. Yet why did I feel the need to gather some?
<em>It makes sense. You deify plants enough as it is.</em>
What?
<em>You have an altar: your drawer. You have a ceremony, which even involves transubstantiation. You think about them all of the time.</em>
And I have you.
<em>And I have you.</em>
You're scary.
I went to coffee this morning with my mom. We read and pet the dogs there and drank coffee and tea. It was fun. Then she left. That was fun, too. I walked home and stopped by the <em>Datura inoxia</em> plant on Dover. I gathered to leaves, a dried flower and it's crown thingy, and a seedpod. I left it with a prayer and a sense of dread ^^ I shall dry the leaves, crown, and seeds, and then hopefully forget about it. You must take in to account the powerfully malign, even if you're an optimist.
This reminds me, I was thinking of making my Ayahuasca and putting it in jars. That stuff scares me too, but I don't think I'll have the resources to make it at college (nor the time to use it) and I think it'll keep better as a liquid in a sterile environment than as a solid in a few plastic bags. The only problem I can see with this is that it's then illegal to possess. :o) Perhaps if I keep the Strength separate from the Light, it won't be. Anyway, I need to ask someone about this.
I'm sure I'm probably pissing someone off, or at least making them scared for my safety, by talking about this, so chat with me, don't leave angry comments.
<em>Curse you.</em>
You're not funny.
<em>I'm scared for you.</em>
So am I.
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-05 12:24:29</p>
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<title>Zk | Nevermind the Yage.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Nevermind the Yage.</h1>
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<p>I need to think about Aya. I'll just store it better for now. I don't think I really need it. I was just collecting the Datura, I wasn't planning on doing anything with it</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-05 15:51:52</p>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<table align="center" style="margin: 5px; border: 2px solid #000000; padding: 5px; font: 10pt arial, verdana, 'sans serif'; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff" width="350"><tr style="background-color: #ffffff; font: 12pt arial, verdana, 'sans serif';"> <td colspan="3" style="text-align: center; border: 1px solid #0000C0"><b><a href="http://www.theferrett.com/livejournal">The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test</a></b><br/></td></tr><tr style="background-color: #DCE4F4"><td style="padding: 4px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: #0000ff; border-bottom-style: solid; color: #000000;" width="125"><strong>Category</strong></td><td style="padding: 4px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: #0000ff; border-bottom-style: solid; color: #000000;"><strong>Your Score</strong></td><td style="padding: 4px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: #0000ff; border-bottom-style: solid; color: #000000;"><strong>Average LJer</strong></td></tr><tr style="background-color: #F7F9FD;"> <td style="vertical-align: top; font-weight: bold; color: #000000;" width="125">Community Attachment</td><td style="vertical-align: top; color: #000000;"><b>40.86%</b><br/>There's something special about you. Every once in awhile, one of your topics gets everyone chatting.</td><td style="vertical-align: top; font-weight: bold; color: #000000;">22.37%</td></tr><tr style="background-color: #ffffff;"> <td style="vertical-align: top; font-weight: bold; color: #000000;" width="125">MemeSheepage</td><td style="vertical-align: top; color: #000000;"><b>45.61%</b><br/>An expert on multiple-choice questions, an whiz at the cut-and-paste</td><td style="vertical-align: top; font-weight: bold; color: #000000;">28.1%</td></tr><tr style="background-color: #F7F9FD;"> <td style="vertical-align: top; font-weight: bold; color: #000000;" width="125">Original Content</td><td style="vertical-align: top; color: #000000;"><b>67.74%</b><br/>Newsweek, People, and gv_ranna's journal</td><td style="vertical-align: top; font-weight: bold; color: #000000;">38.11%</td></tr><tr style="background-color: #ffffff;"> <td style="vertical-align: top; font-weight: bold; color: #000000;" width="125">Psychodrama Quotient</td><td style="vertical-align: top; color: #000000;"><b>44.58%</b><br/>Would it kill you to smile? CHEER UP!</td><td style="vertical-align: top; font-weight: bold; color: #000000;">17.13%</td></tr><tr style="background-color: #F7F9FD;"> <td style="vertical-align: top; font-weight: bold; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: #0000ff; border-bottom-style: solid; color: #000000;" width="125">Attention Whoring</td><td style="border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: #0000ff; border-bottom-style: solid; color: #000000;"><b>29.55%</b><br/>You do a little dance whenever someone friends you</td><td style="vertical-align: top; font-weight: bold; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: #0000ff; border-bottom-style: solid; color: #000000;">20.7%</td></tr><tr><td colspan="3"><div align="center"> <a href="http://www.theferrett.com/livejournal"><strong>Take The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test<br/>and see how you match up! </strong></a></div></td></tr></table
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-09 17:32:51</p>
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<title>Zk | From Pharmako/Dynamis, for those who it's for.</title>
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<h1>Zk | From Pharmako/Dynamis, for those who it's for.</h1>
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<p>CRITIC:
<em>It's not good enough. Your friends are just being polite. No one will take it seriously. They probably won't even like it. You don't really even know the rules of good writing. You misspell elixir every time you write it.</em></p>
<p>SELF:
<em>So when's the last time you wrote a book?</em></p>
<p>CRITIC:
<em>I would not stoop to ad mediocrity to the great cannon of Western Culture.</em></p>
<p>SELF:
<em>No, you just sit there and criticize every new creation, every innovation, until it all stops and you are left with your tired and dusty classics. You leave it to time, the worms, and the spiders to make art for you. Thank you for your input. Without you, I might've ended up a real writer, and where would I be then? Busy writing "good" books on contract, one after another. Or in some staid lecture hall, feeling full of myself.</p>
<p>Instead of like this, stumbling along, mostly out of my mind, scribbling whatever comes.&lt;/em</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-09 17:45:33</p>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p><a href="http://ranna.ath.cx/bebopmmhm-cd.jpg">Bebop, mmhm.</a></p>
<p>I had decided that the label making programs suck, so I just drew it myself. My hands were really shakey, 'cause I haven't inked in a long while, so that's why some of the handwriting sucks.</p>
<p>Same vein, different topic: got my choir CDs. Now I just need to strip the applause from them. Grr. I don't like some of the recordings</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-10 16:42:32</p>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>Nightmare about choir, dream about Kory, extreme boredom. Pondering trip to see Shan later on this summer. Still pondering, though, I'm not sure I really want to go. I dunno</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-11 06:59:14</p>
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<details text="Mé Éva"><summary>Mé Éva</summary><strong>Mé Éva</strong>
Mé Éva, ben Ádaim uill;
mé ro sáraig Ísu thall;
mé ro thall nem ar mo chloinn;
cóir is mé do-chóid sa crann.
Ropa lem rítheg dom réir;
olc in míthoga rom-thár;
olc in cosc cinad rom-chrín;
for-ír! ní hidan mo lám.
Mé tuc in n-uball an-úas;
do-chúaid t ar cumang mo chraís;
in céin marat-sam re lá;
de ní scarat mná re baís.
Ní bíad eigredd in cach dú;
ní bíad geimred gáethmar glé;
ní baíd iffern; ní bíad brón;
ní bíad oman; minbad mé.
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<p><lj-cut text="Slay Me Suddenly"><strong>Slay Me Suddenly</strong>
Your yen two wol slee me sodenly;
I may the beautee of hem not sustene,
So woundeth hit throughout my herte kene.</p>
<p>And but your word wol helen hastily
My hertes wounde, while that hit is grene,</p>
<p>Your yen two wol slee me sodenly;
I may the beautee of hem not sustene.</p>
<p>Upon my trouthe I sey you feithfully
That ye ben of my lyf and deeth the quene;
For with my deeth the trouthe shal be sene.</p>
<p>So hath your beautee fro your herte chaced
Pitee, that me ne availeth not to pleyne;
For Daunger halt your mercy in his cheyne.
Giltles my deeth thus han ye me purchaced;
I sey you sooth, me nedeth not to feyne;</p>
<p>So hath your beautee fro your herte chaced
Pitee, that me ne availeth not to pleyne.
Allas! that Nature hath in you compassed
So greet beautee, that no man may atteyne
To mercy, though he sterve for the peyne.</lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="Razreesh"><strong>Razreesh (translated)</strong>
Cut me like a fruit
In the still of your room.
I will gladly be your slave
Until you tell me to go away </p>
<p><em>(Cut me in half like a peach, apple, or pear,
Eat me for breakfast
And spit out my little bones)</em></p>
<p>I will grow through your floor in a shape of a tree
And will be with you everyday.
Until you cut me down
Until you get bored someday.</lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="The Sour Grove">For Alk. Be warned, it's dirty ^^
<strong>The Sour Grove</strong>
Sawden awdl, sidan ydiw
sem fach, len ar gont wen wiw
lleiniau mewn man ymannerch,
y llwyn sur, llawn yw o serch,
fforest falch iawn, ddawn ddifrog
ffris ffraill, ffwrwr dwygaill deg
breisglwyn merch, drud annerch dro,
berth addwyn, Duw'n borth iddo.</lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="Truth"><strong>Truth</strong>
Fle fro the pres, and dwelle with sothefastnesse,
Suffise thin owen thing, thei it be smal;
For hord hath hate, and clymbyng tykelnesse,
Prees hath envye, and wele blent overal.
Savour no more thanne the byhove schal;
Reule weel thiself, that other folk canst reede;
And trouthe schal delyvere, it is no drede.</p>
<p>Tempest the nought al croked to redresse,
In trust of hire that tourneth as a bal.
Myche wele stant in litel besynesse;
Bywar therfore to spurne ayeyns an al;
Stryve not as doth the crokke with the wal.
Daunte thiself, that dauntest otheres dede;
And trouthe shal delyvere, it is no drede.</p>
<p>That the is sent, receyve in buxumnesse;
The wrestlyng for the worlde axeth a fal.
Here is non home, here nys but wyldernesse.
Forth, pylgryme, forth! forth, beste, out of thi stal!
Know thi contré! loke up! thonk God of al!
Hold the heye weye, and lat thi gost the lede;
And trouthe shal delyvere, it is no drede. &lt;/lj-cut</p>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>Take the quiz: <a href="http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=710">"Which Random Irish Gaelic Phrase Are You? "<br/><img border="0" src="http://www.zenhex.com/quiz/710/res1.jpg"/></a><br/><b>Ta mo bhriste tri thine </b><br/>Ta mo bhriste tri thine - 'My trousers are on fire.'You're a few bricks short of a load, aren't you? You're probably not allowed to use sharp objects and you should be locked in a rubber room. With Rubber rats. Rubber rats? I hate rubber rats. They drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a rubber room. With rubber rats. Rubber rats? I hate rubber rats..</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-12 12:58:28</p>
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<title>Zk | P-p-p-packies.</title>
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<h1>Zk | P-p-p-packies.</h1>
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<p>I'm thinkin' a trip to the Renaissance Festival, just for the pack. How does this coming weekend sound? Either day's fine for me. Tickets are $14.95 at Soopers, I'll drive</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-13 14:14:41</p>
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<title>Zk | FMA dies.</title>
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<h1>Zk | FMA dies.</h1>
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<p>The Federal Marriage Amendment died in the Senate today in a 50-48 vote, with the proponents missing the 60 vote bid put on by the democrats by twelve votes. Thus, the issue is most likely dropped for this year</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-14 10:16:47</p>
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<title>Zk | To Phelan.</title>
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<h1>Zk | To Phelan.</h1>
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<p>I'm sorry about all of the teasing, but setting and my tiredness prevented anything more. *luv</p>
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<title>Zk | A concoction, and a note</title>
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<h1>Zk | A concoction, and a note</h1>
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<p>1 packet rosehip tea (assuming that's about 10 dried/ground rosehips).
7 drops of honey.
5 horsemint flowers (or 1 large leaf, or a pinch of dried leaf).
3 leaves lemon balm.
3 leaves mint (I believe it's spear mint).
2 leaves basil</p>
<p>Makes one cup. For stronger taste, run through espresso machine twice. (sans honey and horsemint; steep the horsemint and add the honey last - this makes a very strong tea). A very small amount of cinnamon goes well. It's useful for many things, but I have yet to figure out what. Basically, it just makes me feel good. Not terribly tasty. Tastes better on more sugar/honey, but.. well, whatever. I'm hung up on numbers ^^</p>
<p>~~~
~~</p>
<p>I have the sheet music for Tallis' Spem in Alium for 40 voices (eight choirs of five parts each), and I was just thinking how cool it'd be to sing that at CSU flashmob style. Have 40 or 80 people milling about during a busy day on the plaza suddenly burst into song starting with a solitary voice. It's handy that way, so you don't have to blow a pitch pipe loudly and attract attention. For directing, a tactus might be handy. A white cloth on the top of my staff would work.</p>
<p>This would require much planning. First, getting even 40 people might be tough. Perhaps vague signs in the music building and perhaps on the Plaza and in the student center.. I wouldn't want anyone except the choir and a few others to know where and when. Writing vague things on the ground might help, like 'It's coming... (date)' or 'Hope... You ready? (date)'. Rehearsals would be done within the choirs; I could try and make it to all the different ones, I suppose.</p>
<p>It's a wonderful song to do in flashmob style, 'cause it starts out small and gets fairly big over a span of time, slowly attracting attention. It doesn't even have to be at the Plaza, or even at CSU, or even in Ft. Collins. Then the choir could just disapear into the crowd (hopefull ^^). The only real problem with the song is that it's 10 minutes long c.c Well, whatever. I'll look around, maybe there are some other ones that would work well. Some stuff, just as a note to myself: Socio-Musicological Ramifications, Experiments in Socio-Musicology, have my own group be the first choir. Some notes on the song: 138 bars; the pdfs I have of the sheet music are for individual choirs with the other choirs in piano reduction; each file is 34 pages long; I have midis of all parts and all choirs separately, as well as one of the whole thing with a continuo; given time, which I have, I could Sibelius-ize the song, and distribute cds to all members with stuff on them, like an mp3 of the song, appropriate midis, and sheet music</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-15 16:30:01</p>
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<title>Zk | Ren Faire.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Ren Faire.</h1>
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<p>Stuff!! Yeah. I'll pick up Mikeywolf first, so he should be ready by.. say.. 10:30 (if you're gonna wear the tunic, wear long pants, preferably not blue - I have some you can borrow if you want). After that, I shall steal the Breakfast Fox (cloaaak.. and staaaaff), and proceed to make my way to the Pilot's house. Then.. hope for the best, 'cause I don't really know how to get there other than on I-25, and I don't want to take that ^</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-16 17:57:39</p>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>I sense a cusp...</p>
<p>Or maybe I just have to go to the bathroom.</p>
<p>Re-read Lirael, then Abhorsen, now Sabriel.</p>
<p><u>D</u>eath is subjective, see.. the Gates are a set distance from the observer, and inherently infinintely circular, but everywhere at once &gt;.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-07-20 05:53:46</p>
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<title>Zk | Yipku.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Yipku.</h1>
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<p>STUFFFFFFFF!!!</p>
<p>Sorry I wasn't around for retrieval services, Ryan, or wasn't paying attention, or whatever.</p>
<p>But hey! Your tea is good ^^ (no, haven't broken into your half, but I'm going through mine quickly since I left my chai at OASOS)</p>
<p>In other, more serious news, while looking at insurance stuffs, my mom found that the majority of insurance companies will refuse to insure us. Why? Millie. Met-Life, of all people, whose logo is A FREAKING DOG won't insure us. As it is, State Farm (with whom we're insured) doesn't have such crazy policies, but if Millie bites someone, they'll drop us completely. Grr.. makes me angry. We're thinking of emphasizing Millie's Boston Terrier over the pit-bull (read, omitting the pit-bull part). Mikey was telling me about when he got his puppy, some kid wanting to bring up another puppy from the litter as a fighting dog. Well... FUCK YOU, BUDDY. It's people like you that make my dog illegal! Damnit...</p>
<p>Got angry at mom today. I'm getting so irritable 'cause I'm so bored.. So we went out to a movie. Spiderman 2. I give it <em>e</em> stars out of 2</p>
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<p>http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/victimhood.htm
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/blame_responsibility.htm</p>
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