From d8d923095051ab44adb19a15fe2fed196f2e8bf7 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Madison Scott-Clary Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2022 00:05:18 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] update from sparkleup --- writing/post-self/mitzvot/sorina/001.html | 10 +++++++++- 1 file changed, 9 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/writing/post-self/mitzvot/sorina/001.html b/writing/post-self/mitzvot/sorina/001.html index 599e125b8..8e8c0e868 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/mitzvot/sorina/001.html +++ b/writing/post-self/mitzvot/sorina/001.html @@ -19,10 +19,18 @@

I need to talk to someone about this. I need to talk to someone who truly understands. I talk to Sarah quite a bit, of course, both in a therapeutic and a professional context, but there needs to be that sense of connection to the matter on a more personal level than just therapist to client. She’s a delight to work with and an amazing teacher (as are Artante and Anin Li).

In our sessions, we came up with a very specific way to deal with this decision that I’ve made. In order to ensure that I can learn to cherish who I was and who was in my life, I need to reinforce the positive memories of what I had. I need to make sure that those are stronger than the negative ones. I don’t want that final, terrible morning to weigh on me more strongly than all of the good times that we had together

(but they still have each other, so each of their letters kept dragging me back into it)

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(reframing as exes)

(if I sound panicky, it’s because I am; I’m forgetting)

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(This letter in the strictest confidence, I will be in touch with more, less painfully immediate news)

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I love you, Ioan. I love you in that weird, roundabout way that a distant up-tree fork does. I love you for your completeness. I love you for being me, and yet not. I love you for being Ioan and not Codrin. I love you for the solidity that I remember of you through Codrin’s eyes. I love who you used to be. I love who you’ve become. I love who you will be.

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I want nothing more than to say pass on my love, but please, Ioan, please don’t.

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I’ll just say “all my love” and be done with it.

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Sorina Bălan
+13 er-ularaeäl, 4778 Artemis Reckoning

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END IOAN BĂLAN INDIVIDUAL-EYES-ONLY MATERIAL