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<p>“If you had to boil down this year into a sales pitch, what would it be?”</p>
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<p>Reed laughed and bumped their shoulder against Hanne’s. “A sales pitch?”</p>
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<p>“Yeah,” she said, leaning briefly against them as they walked. “I’m in the market for a new year. Sell me the 2368 model. I’ve got a wide variety to choose from, so tell me why you decided to live through this one.”</p>
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<p>Reed laughed and bumped his shoulder against Hanne’s. “A sales pitch?”</p>
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<p>“Yeah,” she said, leaning briefly against him as they walked. “I’m in the market for a new year. Sell me the 2368 model. I’ve got a wide variety to choose from, so tell me why you decided to live through this one.”</p>
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<p>“You’re a nerd. You realize that, right?”</p>
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<p>“Tell me why I should be a nerd in the year 244. Next year we can decide on 245.“</p>
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<p>Reed scuffed their heel against the pavement of the street. New Year’s Eve, and everyone was still inside. Bars: full. Restaurants: packed. There were a few scattered couples or groups around, but they were all walking with purpose. Champagne called. Canapes. Crudites.</p>
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<p>Reed scuffed his heel against the pavement of the street. New Year’s Eve, and everyone was still inside. Bars: full. Restaurants: packed. There were a few scattered couples or groups around, but they were all walking with purpose. Champagne called. Canapes. Crudites.</p>
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<p>And here they were, Reed and Hanne, arm in arm, strolling leisurely down the street, heedless of the passersby, to celebrate the last day of 2368, systime 244+365.</p>
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<p>“If you’re looking for the utmost in luxury, then it’s really hard to go wrong with 2368. The ride was just about as smooth as could be.”</p>
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<p>“How about comfort?”</p>
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<p>“Oh, very comfortable. Cushy, even,” they said, poking themself in the belly.</p>
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<p>“Oh, very comfortable. Cushy, even,” he said, poking himself in the belly.</p>
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<p>Hanne laughed. “Cute. How about the exterior?”</p>
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<p>“No clue. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve had any reason to pay attention to the world outside. I imagine it looks just as confusing as it anyways has.”</p>
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<p>“Well, okay, fair enough. You’ve been here longer than I have.”</p>
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<p>She nodded. “Robbing the cradle, you are.”</p>
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<p>“You’re 83.”</p>
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<p>“Barely legal.”</p>
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<p>It was their turn to laugh. “Whatever.”</p>
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<p>It was his turn to laugh. “Whatever.”</p>
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<p>“How about, uh… Features? Amenities?”</p>
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<p>“Well, it’s got us in it, doesn’t it?”</p>
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<p>She laughed and shoved them away from her. “Now who’s the nerd? Gross.”</p>
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<p>Reed stumbled to the side, laughing. They’re own champagne from earlier added a pleasant freedom of movement ey only ever noticed at two drinks. Any more and they became too loose and had a hard time staying upright. Any less and they didn’t notice that any freedom was lacking.</p>
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<p>“Is that so bad?” they said. “Alternatively: am I not allowed to be a bit maudlin? It’s fucking New Year’s, Hanne.”</p>
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<p>She laughed and shoved him away from her. “Now who’s the nerd? Gross.”</p>
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<p>Reed stumbled to the side, laughing. Their own champagne from earlier added a pleasant freedom of movement he only ever noticed at two drinks. Any more and he became too loose and had a hard time staying upright. Any less and he didn’t notice that any freedom was lacking.</p>
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<p>“Is that so bad?” he said. “Alternatively: am I not allowed to be a bit maudlin? It’s fucking New Year’s, Hanne.”</p>
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<p>“Maudlin? Is that even the right word?”</p>
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<p>“What? Uh…” They hunted down a dictionary on the exchange, prowled through it. “Oh. Saccharine, maybe? I don’t know. Maudlin still kind of works, doesn’t it?”</p>
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<p>She titled her head at them.</p>
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<p>“What? Uh…” He hunted down a dictionary on the exchange, prowled through it. “Oh. Saccharine, maybe? I don’t know. Maudlin still kind of works, doesn’t it?”</p>
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<p>She titled her head at him.</p>
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<p>“”Extremely sentimental,” it says. Pretty sure that fits.”</p>
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<p>Hanne rolled her eyes, grinning. “Okay, yeah, that fits you to a tee.”</p>
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<!--more, probably-->
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<p>Champagne tinted evenings fade, as they do, into brandy-colored nights. Amber nights and fireplaces for the hell of it, Reed and Hanne settling in for a little bit of warmth for that last hour, not quite decadence and a ways off from opulence, but still a plush couch and a fire and snifters slightly too full of liquor.</p>
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<p>They shared their warmth and they continued to talk, talking of the year past, of years past beyond that, and of however many they decided would lay ahead of them. A hundred? Two hundred? Five years? Reed argued passionately for five more years of life before they’d quit, then laughed, changed their mind, and said they’d never die. Hanne said she would live for precisely two hundred before quitting her instance and disappearing from Lagrange. She would fork at a century and never speak to that version of her again, that exact duplicate, and should that instance decide to live on past two centuries, so be it, but she’d decided her expiration.</p>
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<p>They shared their warmth and they continued to talk, talking of the year past, of years past beyond that, and of however many they decided would lay ahead of them. A hundred? Two hundred? Five years? Reed argued passionately for five more years of life before he’d quit, then laughed, changed his mind, and said he’d never die. Hanne said she would live for precisely two hundred before quitting her instance and disappearing from Lagrange. She would fork at a century and never speak to that version of her again, that exact duplicate, and should that instance decide to live on past two centuries, so be it, but she’d decided her expiration.</p>
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<p>Reed scoffed. “What? And leave me behind?”</p>
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<p>“Of course. Can you imagine six score years with someone? Absolutely miserable.” She rested her head on their shoulder and shrugged. “We’re a ways off from that, I think I still like you now.”</p>
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<p>“You think?” They draped their arm around her shoulders. “Still not sure?”</p>
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<p>“Of course. Can you imagine six score years with someone? Absolutely miserable.” She rested her head on his shoulder and shrugged. “We’re a ways off from that, I think I still like you now.”</p>
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<p>“You think?” His draped their arm around her shoulders. “Still not sure?”</p>
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<p>“I’m sure I think I like you.”</p>
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<p>They laughed. “Yeah? Well, what can I do to cement your opinion of me? What can I do to make you sure that you like me?”</p>
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<p>He laughed. “Yeah? Well, what can I do to cement your opinion of me? What can I do to make you sure that you like me?”</p>
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<p>“There’s a whole laundry list,” she said, sipping her brandy.</p>
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<p>“Pop one. I could use a goal for 245.”</p>
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<p>Hanne held up her glass appraisingly. “Well, we could work on your taste in liquor.”</p>
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<p>They snorted. “What would you rather I drink?”</p>
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<p>He snorted. “What would you rather I drink?”</p>
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<p>“Scotch.”</p>
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<p>“That always struck me as so manly, though.”</p>
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<p>“Sounds fake.”</p>
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<p>“Oh, I’m pretty sure it is, but we’re beholden to stereotypes.”</p>
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<p>She poked em in the side, grinning. “You must be drunk if you’re using words like ‘beholden’. Let’s see. You could introduce me to Marsh, maybe.”</p>
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<p>Reed shook their head. “That’s not on me, you know that. We have a one-way relationship.”</p>
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<p>She poked him in the side, grinning. “You must be drunk if you’re using words like ‘beholden’. Let’s see. You could introduce me to Marsh, maybe.”</p>
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<p>Reed shook his head. “That’s not on me, you know that. We have a one-way relationship.”</p>
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<p>“But he’s your down-tree instance! You’re patterned after him. You talk every year <em>at least</em> once, right? You’ll talk to him later tonight, right? You have for the last hundred.”</p>
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<p>“No, probably not. If I hear from him directly, anything more than just a ping, I’ll know something’s gone horribly wrong.” They shrugged — carefully, what with her head resting on their shoulder. “Like I say, it’s a one-way relationship. All I do is live my own life, right? I stay in touch with the rest of the clade to greater or lesser extent, but Marsh has his own life.”</p>
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<p>“No, probably not. If I hear from him directly, anything more than just a ping, I’ll know something’s gone horribly wrong.” He shrugged — carefully, what with her head resting on their shoulder. “Like I say, it’s a one-way relationship. All I do is live my own life, right? I stay in touch with the rest of the clade to greater or lesser extent, but Marsh has his own life.”</p>
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<p>“He has several.”</p>
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<p>“Right. We all fork, we all merge back down to whoever our down-tree instance is, and since I was forked from him, I merge down directly. He gets all our lives, one year at a time, but we don’t really get anything in return.”</p>
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<p>They could hear the frown in her voice. “How miserable.”</p>
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<p>He could hear the frown in her voice. “How miserable.”</p>
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<p>“What, our relationship?”</p>
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<p>“Just…him. How miserable he has to be, right? He lives his life doing whatever, spending his whole year remembering the previous year from, what, five instances?”</p>
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<p>“Six. Me, Lily, Cress, Rush, Sedge, and Tule.”</p>
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<p>“That’s another thing you could do: be a little less weird.”</p>
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<p>They laughed, kissed atop her head. “Uh huh. Love you too.”</p>
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<p>He laughed, kissed atop her head. “Uh huh. Love you too.”</p>
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<p>“But I was saying he has to be miserable. He chills out in his house and spends his days remembering yours, you and your cocladists, and just living vicariously through you all.”</p>
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<p>“That’s not all he does. He sings. He’s got Vos and Pierre, right? He spends time with his partners. He goes to Vos’s plays. He has friends over. He sings a <em>lot</em>. He cooks–“</p>
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<p>“Is he as bad a cook as you?”</p>
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<p>“Why not?”</p>
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<p>Reed yawned, slouched down further on the couch along with Hanne. “He very specifically wants us to live our own lives. He doesn’t want us to just be versions of him. He can make all of those he wants for his little tasks. He specifically wants us to be something other than what he is so that he can experience that on his own terms.”</p>
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<p>“Don’t see how that’s any different,” she mumbled. Sleep threatened, even with some time left before midnight. “You all merging down like that is just doing the same thing in reverse, You’re making him a version of you all, even if you’re not just a version of him.”</p>
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<p>Reed turned that thought over in their head, held it at arm length, let the light of the fire shine through the fog of champagne and brandy onto it to admire just how strangely it was shaped. “Well, huh.”</p>
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<p>Reed turned that thought over in his head, held it at arm length, let the light of the fire shine through the fog of champagne and brandy onto it to admire just how strangely it was shaped. “Well, huh.”</p>
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<p>“See? You’re so weird.”</p>
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<p>“I guess we are,” they said, smiling and nudging Hanne upright once more. “No dozing off, now.”</p>
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<p>“I guess we are,” he said, smiling and nudging Hanne upright once more. “No dozing off, now.”</p>
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<p>She grumbled and rubbed at her face. “Sorry if that came off as rude. I guess it’s just outside my understanding.”</p>
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<p>They scooted up onto the couch, themself, sitting cross-legged to face her. “It’s okay. It’s not wrong, even, I just don’t think it’s wholly right, either. It’s a matter of intent. Our intent is to live our own lives to the fullest, and it’s his intent to let us do so and yet still be able to experience that at one layer of remove. We’ve been doing it for a century, and it’s worked out well enough since then. If all this–” he waved around the room, feeling the gentle spin of drunkenness follow the movement, “–is just a dream, if we’re all doing our best to dream in unison with each other, then I think intent may be all that we have, right? However may billion or trillion people have uploaded are all trying to dream the same dream together, all mixed up and poured into the same System, we have to form what meanings we may on our own.”</p>
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<p>He scooted up onto the couch, himself, sitting cross-legged to face her. “It’s okay. It’s not wrong, even, I just don’t think it’s wholly right, either. It’s a matter of intent. Our intent is to live our own lives to the fullest, and it’s his intent to let us do so and yet still be able to experience that at one layer of remove. We’ve been doing it for a century, and it’s worked out well enough since then. If all this–” he waved around the room, feeling the gentle spin of drunkenness follow the movement, “–is just a dream, if we’re all doing our best to dream in unison with each other, then I think intent may be all that we have, right? However may billion or trillion people have uploaded are all trying to dream the same dream together, all mixed up and poured into the same System, we have to form what meanings we may on our own.”</p>
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<p>“I think we broke two trillion instances a while back. I don’t know how may uploads, but I don’t think it’s hit a trillion yet.”</p>
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<p>“Right. Sorry, guess I’m kinda rambly when I’m drunk.”</p>
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<p>Leaning forward, she gave him a light kiss. “It’s okay, I like it when you ramble. Just don’t lose track of the time.”</p>
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<p>00:15</p>
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<p>Reed started to nod, then stiffened as they felt first one, then another set of memories crash down onto them. “<em>Fuck.</em> One of these…days I’ll convince…them to give me some warning…sec…”</p>
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<p>Reed started to nod, then stiffened as they felt first one, then another set of memories crash down onto him. “<em>Fuck.</em> One of these…days I’ll convince…them to give me some warning…sec…”</p>
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<p>Hanne laughed and shook her head, standing from the couch to go get herself a glass of water.</p>
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<p>They closed their eyes to turn down one of their senses, setting the sweet-smelling glass of brandy aside to rid themselves of another as best they could. They sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had forked and quit first. They’d split off a new copy of themself then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories they’d formed over the last year fell down onto Reed, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of their tongue: all they needed to do was actually remember. Next had come Sedge. Clearly, Tule had already done so, forking and merging back down into Sedge so that he could fork and merge down into Reed. Three sets of memories — two from their direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance — rested on eir mind, ready for integration.</p>
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<p>There would be time for full perusal and remembering later. It was rapidly approaching midnight, and they needed to get the memories sorted into their own, interleaved and zippered together into as cohesive a whole as they could manage, all conflicts addressed (though with as separate as their lives had been until then, there was thankfully quite little in the way of conflicting memories), so that, shortly before midnight, they could fork, themself, and then quit, letting that new copy of themself live out the next year with Hanne, with all their joys and sorrows, while the original instance quit and let all those memories — those of Rush, Sedge, Tule, and themself — fall to Marsh to process, savor, and treasure for himself.</p>
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<p>They heard Hanne return, heard her climb back onto the couch before them, felt her press a cold glass of water into their hand.</p>
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<p>He closed his eyes to turn down one of his senses, setting the sweet-smelling glass of brandy aside to rid himself of another as best he could. He sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had forked and quit first. They’d split off a new copy of themself then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories they’d formed over the last year fell down onto Reed, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of his tongue: all he needed to do was actually remember. Next had come Sedge. Clearly, Tule had already done so, forking and merging back down into Sedge so that he could fork and merge down into Reed. Three sets of memories — two from his direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance — rested on his mind, ready for integration.</p>
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<p>There would be time for full perusal and remembering later. It was rapidly approaching midnight, and he needed to get the memories sorted into his own, interleaved and zippered together into as cohesive a whole as he could manage, all conflicts addressed (though with as separate as their lives had been until then, there was thankfully quite little in the way of conflicting memories), so that, shortly before midnight, he could fork and then quit, himself, letting that new copy of himself live out the next year with Hanne, with all their joys and sorrows, while the original instance quit and let all those memories — those of Rush, Sedge, Tule, and himself — fall to Marsh to process, savor, and treasure for himself.</p>
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<p>He heard Hanne return, heard her climb back onto the couch before him, felt her press a cold glass of water into his hand.</p>
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<p>Five minutes left.</p>
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<p>Three.</p>
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<p>23:58, and they opened their eyes and smiled. “Well, seems like it’s been a pleasant enough year for everyone involved, though I’ll deal with all the rest of that later.”</p>
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<p>23:58, and he opened his eyes and smiled. “Well, seems like it’s been a pleasant enough year for everyone involved, though I’ll deal with all the rest of that later.”</p>
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<p>“Is it time, then?” she asked.</p>
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<p>They nodded, willed away the drunkenness, took a sip of water, and, with a rush of intent, brought into being beside them a new instance of themself. Exactly the same. <em>Precisely</em>. Had such a thing any meaning to an upload, they would be the same down to the atomic level, to the subatomic. All of the memories, all of the personality, all of the history.</p>
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<p>For a fraction of a second, at least. From there, they began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch saw Hanne from <em>this</em> angle, and yet the one that stood beside the couch saw her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on their cheek, the one standing felt it on their back.</p>
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<p>He nodded, willed away the drunkenness, took a sip of water, and, with a rush of intent, brought into being beside them a new instance of himself. Exactly the same. <em>Precisely</em>. Had such a thing any meaning to an upload, they would be the same down to the atomic level, to the subatomic. All of the memories, all of the personality, all of the history.</p>
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<p>For a fraction of a second, at least. From there, they began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch saw Hanne from <em>this</em> angle, and yet the one that stood beside the couch saw her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on his cheek, the one standing felt it on his back.</p>
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<p>“Alright. I love you, Hanne Marie. I’ll miss you.”</p>
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<p>She rolled her eyes. “Tell Marsh I said–</p>
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<hr />
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<div style="height: 100vh"></div>
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<p>“See? You’re so weird.”</p>
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<p>“I guess we are,” they said, smiling and nudging Hanne upright once more. “Hey now, no falling asleep on me.”</p>
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<p>“I guess we are,” he said, smiling and nudging Hanne upright once more. “Hey now, no falling asleep on me.”</p>
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<p>“Right, sorry. Still, uh…still fifteen minutes.” She grumbled and rubbed at her face. “Sorry if that came off as rude. I guess it’s just outside my understanding.”</p>
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<p>They scooted up onto the couch, themself, sitting cross-legged to face her. “It’s okay. It’s not wrong, come to think of it, I just don’t think it’s wholly right, either, you know? It’s more a matter of intent. Our intent is to live our own lives doing as we will rather than as he would, and it’s his intent to let us do so — and by not interfering, even with communication, <em>force</em> us to do so — and yet still be able to experience that almost like a dream. He forked us off a century ago, me, Lily, and Cressm and we’ve been doing it for the last century, and it’s worked out well enough since then. If all this–” he waved around the room, feeling the gentle spin of drunkenness follow the movement, “–is just a dream, if we’re all doing our best to dream in unison with each other, then I think intent may be all that we have, right? However may billion or trillion people have uploaded are all trying to dream the same dream together, all mixed up and poured into the same System, we have to form what meanings we may on our own.”</p>
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<p>He scooted up onto the couch, himself, sitting cross-legged to face her. “It’s okay. It’s not wrong, come to think of it, I just don’t think it’s wholly right, either, you know? It’s more a matter of intent. Our intent is to live our own lives doing as we will rather than as he would, and it’s his intent to let us do so — and by not interfering, even with communication, <em>force</em> us to do so — and yet still be able to experience that almost like a dream. He forked us off a century ago, me, Lily, and Cressm and we’ve been doing it for the last century, and it’s worked out well enough since then. If all this–” he waved around the room, feeling the gentle spin of drunkenness follow the movement, “–is just a dream, if we’re all doing our best to dream in unison with each other, then I think intent may be all that we have, right? However may billion or trillion people have uploaded are all trying to dream the same dream together, all mixed up and poured into the same System, we have to form what meanings we may on our own.”</p>
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<p>“I think we broke two trillion instances a while back. I don’t know how may uploads, but I don’t think it’s hit a trillion yet.”</p>
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<p>“Right. Sorry, guess I’m kinda rambly when I’m drunk.”</p>
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<p>Leaning forward, she gave him a light kiss. “You know I like it when you ramble. Just don’t lose track of the time.”</p>
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<p>00:15</p>
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<p>Reed started to nod, willed away the drunkenness, then stiffened as they felt first one, then another set of memories crash down onto them. “<em>Fuck.</em> One of these…days I’ll convince…them to give me some warning…sec…”</p>
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<p>Reed started to nod, willed away the drunkenness, then stiffened as he felt first one, then another set of memories crash down onto him. “<em>Fuck.</em> One of these…days I’ll convince…them to give me some warning…sec…”</p>
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<p>Hanne laughed and shook her head, standing from the couch to go get herself a glass of water.</p>
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<p>They closed their eyes to turn down one of their senses, taking one more sip of the sweet-smelling brandy before setting it aside to rid themselves of another two as best they could. They sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had forked and quit first. They’d split off a new copy of themself then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories they’d formed over the last year fell down onto Reed, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of their tongue: all they needed to do was actually remember. Next had come Sedge. Clearly, Tule had already done so, forking and merging back down into Sedge so that he could fork and merge down into Reed. Three sets of memories — two from their direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance — rested on eir mind, ready for integration.</p>
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<p>There would be time for full perusal and remembering later. It was rapidly approaching midnight, and they needed to get the memories sorted into their own, interleaved and zippered together into as cohesive a whole as they could manage, all conflicts addressed (though with as separate as their lives had been until then, there was thankfully quite little in the way of conflicting memories), so that, shortly before midnight, they could fork, themself, and then quit, letting that new copy of themself live out the next year with Hanne, with all their joys and sorrows, while the original instance quit and let all those memories — those of Rush, Sedge, Tule, and themself — fall to Marsh to process, savor, and treasure for himself.</p>
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<p>They heard Hanne return, heard her climb back onto the couch before them, felt her press a cold glass of water into their hand.</p>
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<p>He closed his eyes to turn down one of his senses, taking one more sip of the sweet-smelling brandy before setting it aside to rid himself of another two as best he could. He sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had forked and quit first. They’d split off a new copy of themself then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories they’d formed over the last year fell down onto Reed, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of their tongue: all he needed to do was actually remember. Next had come Sedge. Clearly, Tule had already done so, forking and merging back down into Sedge so that he could fork and merge down into Reed. Three sets of memories — two from his direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance — rested on his mind, ready for integration.</p>
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<p>There would be time for full perusal and remembering later. It was rapidly approaching midnight, and he needed to get the memories sorted into his own, interleaved and zippered together into as cohesive a whole as he could manage, all conflicts addressed (though with as separate as their lives had been until then, there was thankfully quite little in the way of conflicting memories), so that, shortly before midnight, he could fork and then quit, himself, letting that new copy of himself live out the next year with Hanne, with all their joys and sorrows, while the original instance quit and let all those memories — those of Rush, Sedge, Tule, and himself — fall to Marsh to process, savor, and treasure for himself.</p>
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<p>He heard Hanne return, heard her climb back onto the couch before him, felt her press a cold glass of water into his hand.</p>
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<p>Five minutes left.</p>
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<p>Two.</p>
|
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<p>23:59, and they opened their eyes. “Well, seems like it’s been a pleasant enough year. I’ll deal with all the rest of that later.”</p>
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<p>23:59, and he opened his eyes. “Well, seems like it’s been a pleasant enough year. I’ll deal with all the rest of that later.”</p>
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<p>“Is it time, then?” she asked.</p>
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<p>They nodded, took a few long gulps of water, and, with a press of will, brought into being beside them a new instance of themself. Exactly the same. <em>Exactly</em>. Had such a thing any meaning to the uploaded consciousness, they would be the same down to the atomic level, to the subatomic. All of the memories, all of the personality, all of the love and hate and past that made them <em>them</em>.</p>
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<p>For a fraction of a second, at least. From there, they began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch saw Hanne from <em>this</em> angle, and yet the one that stood beside the couch saw her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on their cheek, the one standing felt it on their back.</p>
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<p>“Alright. I love you, Hanne Marie. I’ll miss you.”</p>
|
||||
<p>He nodded, took a few long gulps of water, and, with a press of will, brought into being beside them a new instance of himself. Exactly the same. <em>Exactly</em>. Had such a thing any meaning to the uploaded consciousness, they would be the same down to the atomic level, to the subatomic. All of the memories, all of the personality, all of the love and hate and past that made them <em>them</em>.</p>
|
||||
<p>For a fraction of a second, at least. From there, they began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch saw Hanne from <em>this</em> angle, and yet the one that stood beside the couch saw her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on his cheek, the one standing felt it on his back.</p>
|
||||
<p>“Alright. I love you, Miss Hanne Marie. I’ll think of you often.”</p>
|
||||
<p>She rolled her eyes. “No you won’t. Tell Marsh I said hi.”</p>
|
||||
<p>They laughed and, as the clock struck midnight, willed themself to quit.</p>
|
||||
<p>He laughed and, as the clock struck midnight, willed themself to quit.</p>
|
||||
<p>Then frowned.</p>
|
||||
<p>“Something wrong?”</p>
|
||||
<p>They held up a finger and closed their eyes. Once more, they thought to themself, <em>I’m ready to quit</em>, then then willed that to be reality. Rather than the sudden nothingness that should have followed, they felt the System resist. They felt an elastic sensation that they’d never felt before. There was a barrier between them and the ability to quiet. They felt it, tested it, probed and explored. It was undeniably present, and though they sensed that they could probably press through it if they desired, it was as though Lagrange desperately did not want them to quit. It didn’t want the Reed of now to leave the System.</p>
|
||||
<p>He held up a finger and closed his eyes. Once more, they thought to himself, <em>I’m ready to quit</em>, then then willed that to be reality. Rather than the sudden nothingness that should have followed, he felt the System resist. He felt an elastic sensation that he’d never felt before. There was a barrier between him and the ability to quiet. He felt it, tested it, probed and explored. It was undeniably present, and though he sensed that they could probably press through it if he desired, it was as though Lagrange desperately did not want him to quit. It didn’t want the Reed of now to leave the System.</p>
|
||||
<p>“I can’t.”</p>
|
||||
<p>“You can’t?” Hanne tilted her head, then leaned forward to take one of their hands in her own. “I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to. I don’t think Marsh will mind if you’re a few minutes late. Hell, you can even send him a message saying you don’t want to this year. I think he’ll–“</p>
|
||||
<p>“No, Hanne,” they said, carefully slipping their hand free so that they could stand. “I mean I can’t. I’m not able to. It’s impossible. Or possible, but– wait, hold on.”</p>
|
||||
<p>It had been more than a decade since they’d done so, but if ever there was a reason to do so, this was it. There were very few reasons that the System would try to stop an instance for quitting and one of them, well, no– It had been more than a decade since they’d broken the communication embargo, but ey sent Marsh a gentle ping.</p>
|
||||
<p>“You can’t?” Hanne tilted her head, then leaned forward to take one of his hands in her own. “I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to. I don’t think Marsh will mind if you’re a few minutes late. Hell, you can even send him a message saying you don’t want to this year. I think he’ll–“</p>
|
||||
<p>“No, Hanne,” he said, carefully slipping his hand free so that he could stand. “I mean I can’t. I’m not able to. It’s impossible. Or possible, but– wait, hold on.”</p>
|
||||
<p>It had been more than a decade since he’d done so, but if ever there was a reason to do so, this was it. There were very few reasons that the System would try to stop an instance for quitting and one of them, well, no– It had been more than a decade since he’d broken the communication embargo, but ey sent Marsh a gentle ping.</p>
|
||||
<p>Or <em>tried</em> to, at least.</p>
|
||||
<p>All the ping was was a gentle nudge against the recipient’s sensorium, a sense that someone was looking for them, was seeking them out, was just checking if they were free, if they were even there. From the sender’s side, it felt like a gentle touch, a brush of some more metaphorical finger against the symbolic shoulder of the recipient, a reassurance that they were indeed there.</p>
|
||||
<p>But there was nothing. Reed felt nothing. No sense of Marsh. Attempting to send a sensorium ping to someone that didn’t exist just felt like daydreaming. It felt like a silly, pointless imagining, as though one was imagining that they could touch God on the shoulder or shake hands with the devil.</p>
|
||||
<p>They frowned, pinged Hanne.</p>
|
||||
<p>He frowned, pinged Hanne.</p>
|
||||
<p>“What?” she said, her frown deepening.</p>
|
||||
<p>“Hold on, one more sec.”</p>
|
||||
<p>00:02.</p>
|
||||
<p>They thought across the clade, thought of one of Marsh’s other forks. Pinged Lily.</p>
|
||||
<p>The response was immediate, words flowing into their consciousness through some sense that was not quite hearing. <em>What’s happening? I can’t–</em></p>
|
||||
<p>He thought across the clade, thought of one of Marsh’s other forks. Pinged Lily.</p>
|
||||
<p>The response was immediate, words flowing into his consciousness through some sense that was not quite hearing. <em>What’s happening? I can’t–</em></p>
|
||||
<p>Pinged Cress, the other fork. Asked, <em>Cress? Can you–</em></p>
|
||||
<p><em>What the fuck is happening?</em> came the panicked response.</p>
|
||||
<p><em>My place,</em> they sent back, followed by their address. They repeated the message to Lily and, on a whim, their own up-tree instances, Rush, Sedge, and Tule.</p>
|
||||
<p>00:04</p>
|
||||
<p><em>My place,</em> he sent back, followed by his address. He repeated the message to Lily and, on a whim, his own up-tree instances, Rush, Sedge, and Tule.</p>
|
||||
<p>00:04.</p>
|
||||
<p>Cress arrived almost immediately along with Tule — they shared a partner, so it made sense they’d be together for the evening — leading Hanne to start back on the couch. “Reed,” she said, voice low. “What is–“</p>
|
||||
<p>Lily arrived next, already rushing forward to grab Reed’s shoulder. “You can’t either?” she said, voice full of panic.</p>
|
||||
<p>Before he could answer, Sedge and Rush arrived. The living room had become quite crowded, all instances of the Marsh clade clamoring over each other to talk to Reed, the first long-lived fork from Marsh.</p>
|
||||
<p>“Reed!” Hanne shouted, standing and stamping her foot. Quiet fell in the room. She spoke carefully, and he could hear anger just beneath that tone. “What happened?”</p>
|
||||
<p>The rest of the clade looked to him as well, and he quailed under so many gazes. “I can’t quit. I can’t merge down. I can’t reach Marsh. He–” his voice gave out and he had to take a sip of water. “He’s not on Lagrange, as far as I can tell.”</p>
|
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</article>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-12-27</p>
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Reference in New Issue