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<p>Ey’d shrugged. “Sure. We’d get dumped on once or twice a year.”</p>
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<p>“And was that pleasant?”</p>
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<p>“Well, no, but–“</p>
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<p>She’d laughed at em, then, shaking her head. “I like our porch swing. I like our lilacs and dandelions. Sometimes, I just want to lay in the grass and overheat. I have been betrayed by our weather.”</p>
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<p>She’d laughed at em, then, shaking her head. “I miss our porch swing. I miss our lilacs and dandelions. Sometimes, I just want to lay in the grass and overheat. I have been betrayed by our weather.”</p>
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<p>So it was a good escape when it got cold. They could duck off, alone or together, to the lake and head for a walk.</p>
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<p>May had chosen the name Arrowhead Lake over Ioan’s protests that it looked nothing like an arrowhead, being more kidney shaped. The sim itself was tagged Peak Lake#587a9383. Maybe it was just Peak lake? This seemed to have only emboldened her when ey brought it up, and ey was firmly overruled. </p>
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<p>Whenever ey walked out there without her, as ey did today, ey’d ruminate on this. Maybe it had little to do with the lake itself. Maybe it had to do with the silhouettes of the pines? Or something to do with way the snow lingered on pointed peaks?</p>
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<p>Whenever ey walked out there without her, as ey did today, ey’d think on this. Maybe it had little to do with the lake itself. Maybe it had to do with the silhouettes of the pines? Or something to do with way the snow lingered on pointed peaks?</p>
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<p>“Or maybe she’s just a brat,” ey mumbled, smiling to emself as ey walked slowly along the deer trail. “No reasoning with an Odist.”</p>
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<p>Ey’d never been able to pick apart whether or not they were just normal people. Perhaps Michelle had been — ey’d not spent enough time around her to know, and what time ey had managed had been mostly silence. Toward the end, her conversations were more interruptions than not, although the impression ey’d gotten was that she’d been kind, gentle, while still being the type to care passionately about things — or, more often, people. The impression just hadn’t been a strong one. Not enough time to for it to solidify.</p>
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<p>Ey’d long ago come to the conclusion, confirmed through discussions with several of the clade, that each of them was more a distillation of a singular aspect of Michelle than the whole of her. That wasn’t to say that they weren’t complete in their own right. What was it Codrin and Dear had said? Even True Name was a fully realized person.</p>
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<p>Ey’d never been able to pick apart whether or not they were just normal people. Perhaps Michelle had been — ey’d not spent enough time around her to know, and what time ey had managed had been mostly silence. Toward the end, her conversations were more interruptions than not, although the impression ey’d gotten was that she’d been kind and gentle, while still being the type to care passionately about things — or, more often, people. The impression just hadn’t been a strong one. Not enough time to for it to solidify.</p>
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<p>Ey’d long ago come to the conclusion, confirmed through discussions with several of the clade, that each of them had begun as a distillation of a singular aspect of Michelle than the whole of her. That wasn’t to say that they weren’t complete in their own right. What was it Codrin and Dear had said? Even True Name was a fully realized person.</p>
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<p>Normal, though? Could one be both a singular facet and normal?</p>
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<p>And maybe it goes beyond them. Maybe it’s a dispersionista thing. E could see such a habit building even without Michelle’s experiences.</p>
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<p>And maybe it goes beyond them. Maybe it’s a dispersionista thing. Ey could see such a habit building even without Michelle’s experiences.</p>
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<p>When the trail dipped down out of the trees toward the shore, ey stooped to pick up a handful of pebbles, enough to toss into the water once ey reached the boulder at the lake’s outlet. Codrin had eir cairns, ey supposed, and ey had a heap of pebbles at the bottom of the lake, tossed in one by one over the decades.</p>
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<p><em>I still don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing,</em> ey thought, rattling the rocks around in eir hand as ey continued walking. <em>I don’t know if I’m supposed to help either of them, bring them together again, or what.</em></p>
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<p>It was still a week out from eir next meeting with True Name and while May’s anxiety hadn’t ticked back up, eir own had lingered. There was an unsettled feeling within em that made itself known whenever ey thought about heading to the coffee shop.</p>
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<p>The lake didn’t answer, not in anything other than water lapping at the shore and the chatter of the creek.</p>
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<p>“This is stupid.”</p>
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<p>Ey sat for another hour, just watching the lake, the clouds, the trees, trying not to think about how complicated it was for one person to be so split among instances.</p>
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<p>The walk back was spent unwinding the thought process that led em here in the first place. Unwinding and re-coiling into a careful skein, now with fewer knots than it had had in it before, though still remained tangled.</p>
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<p>The walk back was spent unwinding the thought process that led em here in the first place. Unwinding and re-coiling into a careful skein, now with fewer knots than it had had in it before, though it still remained tangled.</p>
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<p>“Good walk, my dear?” May said when ey returned and plopped down onto the couch.</p>
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<p>“Very. It’s nice out there.”</p>
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<p>“It always is,” the skunk said, walking over from where she’d been poking around in the kitchen to dot her nose atop eir head. “It could be here too, you know.”</p>
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<p>She bounced on the balls of her feet and nodded. “Yes! You, my dear, know just how to treat a girl.”</p>
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<p>“Skunk girl.”</p>
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<p>“Well, yes, but still.” Still bouncing, she twirled around behind the couch, tail trailing along behind her. “I will get ready. I am hungry now, so too bad if you are not.”</p>
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<p>One of the things that Ioan appreciated most about J2 over all of the other sushi places May had dragged em to is that it was the most amenable to em eating with eir hands. May was quite nimble with chopsticks — no mean feat with paws, that — but ey’d never quite picked it up, so being able to eat those little bullets of rice and fish with eir hands suited em quite well.</p>
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<p>One of the things that Ioan appreciated most about J2 over all of the other sushi places May had dragged em to is that it was the most amenable to em eating with eir hands. May was quite nimble with chopsticks — no mean feat with paws — but ey’d never quite picked it up, so being able to eat those little bullets of rice and fish with eir hands suited em quite well.</p>
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<p>It also had a channel of water floating along between the booths, small dishes drifting by lazily for the diners to pluck from the water. It obviated the need for any staff, real or constructed, as each dish would be replaced from behind a bend in the river. With no need to pay beyond a token amount of reputation, it simply became a pleasant evening out, plates stacking up at the edge of their table, a tacit contest with other diners.</p>
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<p>“Did you get what you needed out of your walk earlier, my dear?” May asked before popping a bit of yellowtail into her muzzle.</p>
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<p>Ey shrugged, finished chewing, and said, “I guess. Was doing some thinking into that feeling that I have to fix every problem when it comes to relationships.”</p>
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<p>Ears splayed and eyes wide with alarm, the skunk reached out to take one of eir hands in her own. “I am sorry, my dear. If I overstepped, I apologize.”</p>
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<p>Letting the skunk lace her fingers with eirs, ey shook eir head as though to dislodge the slight dizziness that had come with the realization. “Maybe?” Ey forced a smile. “I mean, maybe uploading was my fix for that situation? I don’t know.”</p>
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<p>She nodded, gave eir hand a gentle squeeze.</p>
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<p>“I think you’re the only person I’ve really loved other than him,” ey said, nudging the conversation back on track to avoid settling into that particular rumination. “That’s what I meant. I want to make things good for you, whether it’s you overflowing, stuff with True Name, or any other number of things that aren’t my responsibility or even under my control.”</p>
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<p>“I think you’re the only person I’ve really loved other than Dragoş,” ey said, nudging the conversation back on track to avoid settling into that particular rumination. “That’s what I meant. I want to make things good for you, whether it’s you overflowing, stuff with True Name, or any other number of things that aren’t my responsibility or even under my control.”</p>
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<p>May smiled, the expression veering perilously close to a smirk. “You have said that you want to fix things for True Name at times, too, my dear. Are you sure you are not in love?”</p>
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<p>“I’ve also talked about how often I’ll wind up getting caught off guard by how much you two still look and sound alike,” ey said, smirking right back. “She’s nice and I do want to help her, but I think I’m a ways off from that.”</p>
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<p>She laughed. “I know, I know. You just leave yourself so open, sometimes, a girl cannot help herself. You are also allowed to want to help friends and acquaintances as well as me.”</p>
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<p>“Skunks, I swear…” He laughed when she pinched at eir fingers, tugging eir hand back so ey could grab another plate of yellowtail. “That’s kind of what I was thinking about on the walk, though. I feel weirdly obligated to fix things. It’s not my place to, I don’t think either of you would be comfortable with that, and that’s not even counting whether or not it’s something either of you <em>want</em>.”</p>
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<p>“I do not know,” she said, shrugging. “I spoke about that with End Waking and Debarre recently, and am no closer to an answer. We did all agree, however, that you doing what you are is a good thing, in that it at least sets up an avenue for change, even if True Name or I do not decide to take that step.”</p>
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<p>“Skunks, I swear…” Ey laughed when she pinched at eir fingers, tugging eir hand back so ey could grab another plate of yellowtail. “That’s kind of what I was thinking about on the walk, though. I feel weirdly obligated to fix things. It’s not my place to, I don’t think either of you would be comfortable with that, and that’s not even counting whether or not it’s something either of you <em>want</em>.”</p>
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<p>“I do not know,” she said, shrugging. “I spoke about that with End Waking and Debarre recently, and am no closer to an answer. We did all agree, however, that you doing what you are is a good thing, in that it at least sets up an avenue for change, even if neither True Name nor I do not decide to take that step.”</p>
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<p>Ey nodded. “I just want things to remain smooth between everyone, is all. Maybe it’s a little…I don’t know, overly conciliatory of me?”</p>
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<p>“Perhaps, but that does not mean it does not have its own utility.”</p>
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<p>They ate in silence for a moment, then, Ioan eventually giving up after finishing eir plate. It was no less easy to eat too much, even in an embedded world.</p>
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<p>It wasn’t until they’d made it back to bed and curled up together that ey was finally able to truly let go of the topic, though. Even throughout eir writing, a small portion of eir mind had been dedicated to the question of what eir role was between the two skunks and why it both rankled and felt necessary.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-04-19</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-05-16</p>
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<p>“‘A gathering’? Not a party?”</p>
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<p>She shrugged. “His words, not mine. I do not know what he is planning.”</p>
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<p>“Well, hopefully a good one.”</p>
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<p>“Agreed. This will limit my time here, of course, I hope that you understand, and I may be distracted as several of my forks merge down to limit conflicts while there.”</p>
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<p>“Agreed. This will limit my time here, of course, I hope that you understand, and I may be distracted as several of my forks merge down to reduce conflicts while there.”</p>
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<p>Ey nodded. “That’s alright. I’ve got stuff to work on, too.”</p>
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<p>Lapping at the whipped cream atop her drink, she once again scanned the crowd, which, as far as ey could tell, had not changed since she’d gotten in. Something about her posture suggested that the topic of what was happening seemed closed, however, so ey made note to ask about it later instead.</p>
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<p>Lapping at the whipped cream atop her drink, she once again scanned the crowd, which, as far as ey could tell, had not changed since she’d gotten in. Something about her posture suggested that the topic of what was happening was closed, however, so ey made note to ask about it later instead.</p>
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<p>They fell into work after that, silence falling while True Name focused on her messages or dealt with merges while ey dedicated a token amount of effort to eir writing. The rest of em observed the skunk out of the corner of eir eye and thought about just how much must be happening for her to admit that she was struggling. 225 years since the System seceded from the rest of Earth’s governments doubtless came with a lot of celebrations and announcements to make, speeches to write, hands to shake, or whatever it was that the non-leaders of Lagrange did in such an event.</p>
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<p>Add in the twenty-fifth anniversary since Launch and certainly there would be an added note of joy for many across all three Systems. Ioan was particularly looking forward to the letters from Castor and Pollux in a week and change to hear how things had gone on each of the LVs. Perhaps ey’d even hear from Sorina from Artemis.</p>
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<p>Add in the twenty-fifth anniversary since Launch and certainly there would be an added note of joy for many across all three Systems. Ioan was particularly looking forward to the letters from Castor and Pollux in a month and change to hear how things had gone on each of the LVs. Perhaps ey’d even hear from Sorina from Artemis.</p>
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<p>Still, True Name’s mussed look and anxious expression seemed to go beyond that. Ey couldn’t think of a reason related to the day that would have her in such a state. Things would be intense, but no so much so as to force her to drop her carefully constructed veneer of confidence.</p>
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<p><em>Ah well, at least she got some time off,</em> ey thought. This was followed by a gentle chiding which ey heard in May’s voice. <em>And you’re not supposed to be fixing things, remember?</em></p>
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<p><em>Ah well, at least she got some time off,</em> ey thought. This was followed by a gentle chiding which ey heard in May’s voice. <em>And you are not supposed to be fixing things, remember?</em></p>
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<p>Right.</p>
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<p>Forcing emself to concentrate on eir writing at least bought em ten minutes of work, or at least more than ey’d been getting done up until that point.</p>
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<p>Forcing emself to concentrate on eir writing at least bought em ten minutes of work.</p>
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<p>“Huh,” True Name mumbled, frowning.</p>
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<p>“Mm?”</p>
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<p>She shook her head. “Nothing, I suppose. Just got a merge from an instance, and it sounds like Jonas is looking for me. He knows that I am–“</p>
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<p>“True Name?”</p>
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<p>She held up a paw, beckoning em to silence, and, despite the way she kept searching face after face, ey could picture dozens of sensorium messages flying back and forth from her. Her frown only deepened.</p>
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<p>Ey closed eir notebook, figuring ey was pretty well ruined for work at this point, and watched the skunk carefully.</p>
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<p>When nothing of interest appeared on the street, the skunk slowly turned back to the room. Her eyes shot wide open, and ey followed her gaze out into the scant crowd of patrons. Everything was much as it had been: folks sitting and chatting, drinking their coffee, reading or doing work. She, however, seemed to be focused in particular on an Asian gentleman walking from the back of the shop, though, where a door opened onto patio seating.</p>
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<p>When nothing of interest appeared on the street, the skunk slowly turned to scan the room. Her eyes shot wide open, and ey followed her gaze out into the scant crowd of patrons. Everything was much as it had been: folks sitting and chatting, drinking their coffee, reading or doing work. She, however, seemed to be focused in particular on an Asian gentleman walking from the back of the shop, though, where a door opened onto patio seating.</p>
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<p>“Fuck,” she said, then shouted, “<em>Fuck!</em>“</p>
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<p>True Name darted around the coffee table, knocking against it hard enough to send both of their drinks spilling across its surface, and grabbed eir hand. “Go, Ioan! Go, go!”</p>
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<p>“What?!” Ey scrambled to eir feet, eyes darting between True Name and that oddly familiar man walking towards them. “Where?”</p>
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<p>“Home! Anywhere!”</p>
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<p>It didn’t seem open to discussion, and enough of her panic had built up in em by now that ey quickly stepped from the sim to home.</p>
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<p>To home and chaos.</p>
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<p>There was a flurry of activity down the hall from the entryway, several instances of May blinking into and out of existence, along with several more of the same man they’d seen at the shop. She was forking close enough each instance of him to exercise the collision algorithms of the sim, knocking him this way and that to keep him away from her. She was screaming, “Get the fuck out! I am not her! Get out!”</p>
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<p>There was a flurry of activity down the hall from the entryway, several instances of May blinking into and out of existence, along with several more of the same man they’d seen at the shop. She was forking close enough each instance of him to exercise the collision algorithms of the sim, knocking him this way and that to keep him away from her. She was screaming, “Get the fuck out! I am not her! Get <em>out!</em>“</p>
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<p>“May!”</p>
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<p>A few of the skunks looked over to the door, and then suddenly another was beside em, quickly grabbing eir free hand. With a wrenching sensation, a sudden change in light and sound and gravity, the three of them stumbled into Arrowhead Lake’s default entry point.</p>
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<p>May pulled eir paw roughly free of eir hand and whirled to face them, shouting, “What the fuck did you do?!”</p>
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<p>When she didn’t answer, May began pacing and muttering — whether to herself or through some sensorium message, ey couldn’t tell.</p>
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<p>Guōweī.</p>
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<p>The assassin. The one who had killed Qoheleth in the middle of his speech. A quick prowl through eir memories lined up face with name.</p>
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<p>Eventually, True Name’s shoulders sagged and she stumbled down from the trees, Ioan and May both watching her, wide-eyed. She kept walking past the trail, down onto muddy beech, then out into the water. The short waves lapped up against her legs, soaking her slacks, and still she kept walking until it had made its way nearly up to her thighs.</p>
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<p>Eventually, True Name’s shoulders sagged and she stumbled down from the trees, Ioan and May both watching her, wide-eyed. She kept walking past the trail, down onto muddy beech, then out into the water. The short waves lapped up against her legs, soaking her slacks, and still she kept walking until it had made its way nearly up to her waist.</p>
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<p>And then she screamed.</p>
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<p>It wasn’t a shout, no words were behind it. It was a scream of pure, unrestrained emotion, though whether anger, fear, frustration, or something else, ey could not guess.</p>
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<p>Then she turned around and waded back toward the shore, stumbling once or twice, until she gave up and fell to her knees, water up to her waist once more. She beat at the surface of the lake with balled-up fists for a few seconds, growling and crying, before she finally stopped, slouching over until she had to catch herself on her hands.</p>
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<p>“My root–” She tried to stand so quickly that she stumbled again and had to catch herself. “You have to be fucking kidding me.”</p>
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<p>Her eyes went blank, and she frowned out toward nothing, though tears left tracks down her cheeks.</p>
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<p>May looked to Ioan. “What does she mean?”</p>
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<p>Ey couldn’t tear her eyes off the other skunk, and it took em a few seconds to even work up the concentration to reply. “Shortly before we left, one of her two merges said that Jonas was looking for her.”</p>
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<p>Ey couldn’t tear eir eyes off the other skunk, and it took em a few seconds to even work up the concentration to reply. “Shortly before we left, one of her two merges said that Jonas was looking for her.”</p>
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<p>Ey nodded.</p>
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<p>The skunk looked down to the ground, brow furrowed. “I suppose if he knew she was there, that would be proof enough. I imagine a place like there chooses to display it as blurred out rather than completely hidden.”</p>
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<p>“I guess,” ey said, though the words lacked conviction to eir ears. “Then she grabbed my hand and told me to go.”</p>
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<p>“She grabbed–” She hesitated, mastered a sudden swell of anger, then shrugged. “It makes sense, I suppose. The chance that you would head some place she and Jonas could not guess is greater than if she had chosen. Ioan, my dear, you are pacing a hole in the path.”</p>
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<p>“She grabbed–” She hesitated, mastered a sudden swell of anger, then subsided. “It makes sense, I suppose. The chance that you would head some place she and Jonas could not guess is greater than if she had chosen. Ioan, my dear, you are pacing a hole in the path.”</p>
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<p>“Sorry, May,” ey said, trying to stand still. “It’s just a little nuts.”</p>
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<p>The skunk sighed, held out her paw to em, and gave her best smile. “I know, my dear. I am really fucking confused and really fucking pissed, I do not imagine you are feeling much better. Would walking help?”</p>
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<p>Ey took her paw in his hand and nodded. “Please.”</p>
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<p>Remembering their promise to stay in sight, they walked slowly back and forth along the short stretch of beach near the entry point, still within sight of True Name, kneeling on the rock by the outlet of the lake.</p>
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<p>“I am sorry that overflowed onto you for a moment, my dear. I did not mean to yell at you.”</p>
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<p>“I am sorry that overflowed onto you for a moment, Ioan. I did not mean to yell at you.”</p>
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<p>“You’re fine, May, you just had some guy chasing you around our house trying to kill you or whatever, you’re allowed to be pissed.”</p>
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<p>She snorted and shook her head. “He had only just arrived less than a minute before you. I imagine True Name’s fork said something about being with you but not where, so they came to our place and saw someone that looked vaguely like her. I am surprised they did not just wait for her. How eager they must be.”</p>
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<p>She snorted and shook her head. “He had only just arrived less than a minute before you. I imagine True Name’s fork said something about being with you but not where, so they came to our place and saw someone that looked vaguely like her. I am surprised they did not just wait for her. How eager they must be. Perhaps they wanted it to be as close to simultaneous as possible for precisely this reason and one simply jumped the gun.”</p>
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<p>“Makes about as much sense as any of this.” Ey looked out across the lake at where the other skunk sat, head bowed. “What do we do now?”</p>
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<p>“I do not know, my dear. I have had precisely as many assassins after me as you, now, and I do not know what to do about True Name. I guess just stay here for a bit and gather our wits.”</p>
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<p>Ey sighed, bent down, and plucked at a pebble on the bank until it came free of the sand, tossing it into the water. Anything to keep from spiraling back into anxiety. “I’ll have to go back and clear the house at some point. I’ll lock down the ACLs to us and any immediate guests.”</p>
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<p>Ey frowned.</p>
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<p>She waved the idea away with a paw. “If it is an issue, we will discuss it. If it is not, then I do not want to think about it any further.”</p>
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<p>“Well, if you say so.”</p>
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<p>She leaned against eir side, resting her head against eir shoulder. “I am sorry, my dear. It is one of those things that is not a concern until it suddenly very fucking is.”</p>
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<p>Ey ruffled a paw between the skunk’s ears, the settled it around her shoulders. “I’ll tell you what all I find there, and we can both hope it’s nothing. What will you do, meanwhile?”</p>
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<p>She leaned against eir side, resting her head on eir shoulder. “I am sorry, my dear. It is one of those things that is not a concern until it suddenly very fucking is.”</p>
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<p>Ey ruffled a hand between the skunk’s ears, the settled eir arm around her shoulders. “I’ll tell you what all I find there, and we can both hope it’s nothing. What will you do, meanwhile?”</p>
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<p>“I am not sure. I do not particularly want to come with if they are looking for someone who looks like me. I will stay here and I guess keep an eye on our…ah, guest.”</p>
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<p>“You sure you’ll be okay with that?”</p>
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<p>There was a long pause before the skunk gave in and slipped both of her arms around eir middle, burying her face against eir shoulder. “I do not know,” she said, voice muffled. “I thought that I would be, was going to <em>say</em> that I would be, but I really do not know.”</p>
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<p>There was a long pause before the skunk gave in and slipped both of her arms around eir middle, burying her face against eir shirt. “I do not know,” she said, voice muffled and small. “I thought that I would be, was going to <em>say</em> that I would be, but I really do not know.”</p>
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<p>Ey rested eir chin atop her head. “Well, I don’t think I’ll be gone all that long, five minutes, tops, but if you need, just send a ping and I’ll be right back.”</p>
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<p>“I am not expecting anything so dramatic, my dear. I will stay here and try to de-stress. True Name still has about half an hour left of…well, whatever it is that she is doing.”</p>
|
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<p>Ey tightened eir arms around the skunk for a squeeze, kissed her atop the head,then stepped back. “All the same, just stay safe, alright?”</p>
|
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<p>She sniffled and nodded. “You too, my dear. Good luck, and do not die.”</p>
|
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</article>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-04-19</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-05-16</p>
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@ -307,10 +307,11 @@
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<li>Jonas in third act meets up with TN w/ Ioan as Amanuensis once more, makes plain that she’s to be the sacrifice, will let her root instance live but not as TN anymore.</li>
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<li>Bring back furry qua furry</li>
|
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<li>Will A/V change the dynamic to rather than dying a natural death, you just upload? You watch your kids grow up and succeed and then they come join you? I think Jonas will pretty transparently not care, but TN cares desperately, esp after EW merges down</li>
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<li>Ioan’s brother is Dragoş Bălan, and ey still misses him lots.</li>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-05-09</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-05-16</p>
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Reference in New Issue