Engagement
And what of it? What of all of this? Waving my hand at the previous however many hundreds of words, I might ask, “Why the fuck does it matter?”
-There are many things that I might ask. There are many things that I have asked, even in these last however many thousands of words. Questions and questions
+There are many things that I might ask. There are many things that I have asked, even in these last however many thousands of words. Questions and questions…
-So, do you want to know the answer?
+So, do you want to know the answer?
I don’t know.
-It is strange that you sound unsure.
+It is strange that you sound unsure.
Why?
-There are twenty-two questions on the previous page. Twenty-five if you count mine — and I suppose that whether or not we are to include those is the crux of the issue. If that is not bemoaning the lack of answers, I do not know what is. It is strange that you would be unsure whether or not you want to know the answer.\footnote{\cite[32]{ally-making-of}}
+There are twenty-two questions on the previous page. Twenty-five if you count mine — and I suppose that whether or not we are to include those is the crux of the issue. If that is not bemoaning the lack of answers, I do not know what is. It is strange that you would be unsure whether or not you want to know the answer.\footnote{\cite{ally-plurality}}
But there is that one that sticks in the craw: ‘why?’ Why do I worry so much, and what, pray, might I do about it?
@@ -44,10 +44,10 @@ as one gradually acquires a sense of eternity.—But the living always make the mistake of too sharp a distinction.\footnote{\cite[17]{duino}}
I hold in tension within myself the idea that the only way out is through — through to the void, through that narrow gate, through to darkness — and just how unfair it would be of me to choose that. -((Struggling against the instinct to escape, suicidality))
+((Struggling against the loss of unity, and then struggling against a sense of the half-sensed loss of Slow Hours))