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Madison Scott-Clary 2023-01-01 11:59:24 -08:00
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<li>Good: imbue with something much larger. &ldquo;His legs were thick like he had dedicated himself to becoming a statue, some solid object people admired and pointed toward&rdquo;</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li></li>
<li>gets more to the essence</li>
<li>transcends the expected:<ul>
<li>Bad: &ldquo;Her hair was matted like the dog&rsquo;s fur&rdquo;</li>
<li>Good: &ldquo;Her hair was matted like it was full of the past week&rsquo;s interruptions&rdquo; &mdash; more abstract, gives interiority/inner life</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Helps avoid just describing a character&rsquo;s body</li>
<li>Emotional register:<ul>
<li>Bad: &ldquo;My father looked like a beat up, salt-rusted jalopy&rdquo; &mdash; unexpected in a bad way</li>
<li>Good: &ldquo;My father looked like a long year that has gone in the direction of sorrow&rdquo; &mdash; shifts literal image to figurative</li>
<li>&ldquo;Her hair, falling into your lap, shining like metal, a color that when you think of it, you cannot name&rdquo;</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Metaphors require more suspension of disbelief, so much more that can go wrong</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Flash simile exercise &mdash; abstract to concrete, then concrete to abstract (or unexpected concrete) &mdash; take risks<ol>
<li><em>Waves unfurled like</em> too many onrushing thoughts</li>
<li><em>The child trembled like</em> urgent supplications to any and all saints</li>
<li><em>The memories came back to him</em> like it fucken wimdy (I forgot to write this one down whoops)</li>
<li><em>After the snowstorm, the neighborhood looked like</em> it had been tucked in for a quiet nap after a tantrum</li>
<li><em>August was as hot as</em> unyielding need.</li>
<li><em>To her, happiness was suspicious like</em> a dog confronted by a rubber snake.</li>
<li><em>Jealousy is a rock, he said. It feels like</em> some pebble in your shoe, gnawing at your heel.</li>
<li><em>The days dragged on like</em> a dog&rsquo;s lolling tongue on a sleepy summer&rsquo;s day.</li>
<li><em>The cold was heavy and oppressive. It felt like</em> handcuffs or a cloth gag or perhaps a bandit&rsquo;s rope binding you to a broken chair.</li>
</ol>
</li>
<li>Writing prompt: write a long paragraph describing a place or a landscape, or a scene from childhood. Using some of the techniques we&rsquo;ve studied together and executed together. Maybe take your own work, identify spots where you can vary the syntax, and fill it out.<ul>
<li>Reed scuffed his heel against the pavement of the street. New Year’s Eve, and everyone was still inside. Bars: full. Restaurants: packed. There were a few scattered couples or groups around, but they were all walking with purpose. Champagne called. Canapes. Crudites.</li>
<li>Reed scuffed his heel against the pavement of the street, <em>rough and coarse like a hungover tongue</em>. New Year’s Eve, and everyone was still inside. <s>Bars: full. Restaurants: packed.</s> <em>The bars were full and the restaurants were packed and the bodies pressed in close around the heat-lamps and the voices were loud and the feet were tired.</em> There were a few scattered couples or groups around, <em>little knots of friends tangling up sidewalks, finding awkward routes around trees and bollards,</em> but they were all walking with purpose. Champagne called. Canapes. Crudites.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ol>