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<p>“We did, yes. We even ran the fact that it might be you who received the information through our models,” she said, nodding to em.</p>
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<p>“But you did not count on me,” May said.</p>
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<p>There was a tight silence that lingered a long few seconds before True Name nodded. “We did not count on you. We did not count on <em>both</em> of you. We did not count on…” She took a shaky breath, recomposed herself, and continued. “We did not count on what changes the dynamic between you two would lead to.”</p>
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<p>“Your models included a historian, you mean,” Ioan said. “And now you also have one of your own. You’ve got two actors, one of whom is built specifically to influence others.”</p>
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<p>“Your models included a historian, you mean,” Ioan said. “And now you also have one of your own. You’ve got two actors, one of whom was built by you specifically to influence others.”</p>
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<p>She looked stricken, gaze jumping between em and May. “When one has lived so long with a certain set of expectations, having them subverted is a shock. May Then My Name, I do not begrudge you your feelings toward me. It is not my goal to win you back or anything like that; all I can do is admit my shortcomings and try to do better by you, even if that is, as you have requested, leaving you be. I truly am happy for you — for both of you — as you have accomplished something that I never could, that Michelle struggled with from the beginning. However, I have a job. I have goals to work towards. I have a vision that I would like above all things to uphold.”</p>
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<p>“You have painted yourself into a corner,” May said. Her voice had lost the edge of fury at her down-tree instance’s admission and apology.</p>
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<p>True Name giggled.</p>
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@ -58,8 +58,10 @@
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<p>The skunk stiffened in her seat and sat silent for a moment. “May I be there when you do? I would like to impress upon him the gravity of the situation.”</p>
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<p>“Absolutely not.”</p>
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<p>True Name winced, wilted, nodded. “I see. Well, if you would pass on my request for information security, I would be very grateful.”</p>
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<p>“I will,” May said.</p>
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<p>Standing and once more brushing her blouse flat, True Name bowed. “Thank you both and apologies for the intrusion.”</p>
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<p>“I will,” May said. “I will also be telling Debarre.”</p>
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<p>There was a long silence.</p>
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<p>“We’ll pass on your request,” Ioan said at last, earning em a glance from May.</p>
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<p>True Name nodded slowly. Standing and once more brushing her blouse flat, she bowed. “Thank you both and apologies for the intrusion.”</p>
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<p>May stood as well and stepped around the table, taking the other skunk’s paws in her own. It was strange to see the gesture of affection after so tense a discussion, but the expression on May’s face as she looked at her down-tree instance showed none of the friendship implied.</p>
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<p>Ioan marveled. If the sight of two skunks that shared so much in common and yet differed in such fundamental ways was uncanny, seeing them touch in like this after so much acrimonious history bordered on distressing.</p>
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<p>“You wrote to me in back in 197,” May said. “You pointed me toward Ioan and you told me, “You are, in many ways, a better version of me, and the completeness that you bring to our stanza ensures that we add up to something that is greater than the sum of its parts”. You told me that you still love me in your own way. Do you remember that?”</p>
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@ -69,7 +71,7 @@
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<p>After a moment, May leaned back, rested her paws on those shoulders, and said, “But please leave and do not ever, <em>ever,</em> come to my house again.”</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-02-13</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-02-19</p>
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<p>Ey nodded, wary to continue. As the silence that followed stretched out, ey retrieved eir tea and sipped it before it grew too cold.</p>
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<p>“Why are you happy to listen to me, Ioan?”</p>
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<p>Ey shook emself from eir own rumination and back to the present. “I’m sorry?”</p>
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<p>True Name smiled. “You said that you were happy to listen to me. Your partner hates me — let us not mince words: she hates me and I have grown to accept that as best I can. You are close, as partners should be, and you have as much reason to hate me as anyone, and yet you met me here — asked to meet me here, even — and say that you hare happy to listen. Why?”</p>
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<p>True Name smiled. “You said that you were happy to listen to me. Your partner hates me — let us not mince words: she hates me and I have grown to accept that as best I can. You are close, as partners should be, and you have as much reason to hate me as anyone, and yet you met me here — asked to meet me here, even — and say that you are happy to listen. Why?”</p>
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<p>“Oh. Well,” ey began, then stalled out. Ey raced through eir memories for a reason ey could articulate. “It was something that Codrin#Castor said. Em and Dear both, actually. Codrin passed on a letter that Codrin#Artemis sent, saying that it has been difficult emotionally to watch what ey remembers from Michelle in your cocladists. When ey mentioned the time skew to it, Dear said to be watchful around your counterpart, saying, “remember what I said: even True Name has emotions, even she will be affected”.”</p>
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<p>The skunk sat back, looking stunned, then choked out a half-laugh-half-sob, setting her mug down on the table so that she could rub her paws firmly over her face, leaving them to cover it. “Even I have emotions. Even I!” she said between deep breaths. “I know that your cocladist and Dear meant well by this, but how damning an indictment. <em>Even I.</em>“</p>
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<p>“I’m sorry, True Name.”</p>
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<p>She bowed again and stepped from the sim, leaving em to sit on the couch and finish eir tea, mulling over the differences between changing and forgetting. Without forgetting, all True Name had, all they <em>all</em> had, was the ability to change, and all they could do was hope that this would be enough to keep them all sane.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-02-13</p>
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<p>Either way, it’s something of a relief to be able to talk about this openly (or, well “openly”) with you. Keeping a secret about one’s own cocladist from them is uncomfortable. </p>
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<p>That digression aside, I take well your meaning about the divergence of Castor and Pollux. I see the divergence in you two, and while it has mostly just been an interesting point to consider at times, occasionally it becomes very pertinent very quickly. I have often admired the ways in which you moved beyond the Bălans of old. It’s nice to see proof that we can truly own our lives — which is not to say that I don’t feel that about myself, but in comparison with #Castor’s current malaise, it comes in stark contrast.</p>
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<p>I don’t know how Dear would take a nudge from you, and it certainly isn’t my place, but I do plan on helping Codrin over there however I can. I’ve been discussing this with May as well, and we are brainstorming suggestions for new paths for em. I don’t think that ey could manage hopping right into life in academia as you have, both because of the differences in the university between the two LVs as well as the differences in your histories over the last few decades.</p>
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<p>I also want to discuss this with May as well, though I will await your permission. I do not think that she is at as much risk of conservatism as it sounds like Dear#Castor is, but there have been several conversation between us now regarding the directions that the clade that I’ll speak to in normal clade-eyes-only, as I plan on sharing these messages with #Castor.</p>
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<p>I also want to discuss this with May as well, though I will await your permission. I do not think that she is at as much risk of conservatism as it sounds like Dear#Castor is, but there have been several conversations between us now regarding the directions that the clade that I’ll speak to in normal clade-eyes-only, as I plan on sharing these messages with #Castor.</p>
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<p>I’ll keep you up to date either way.</p>
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<p><strong>END CODRIN BĂLAN#POLLUX INDIVIDUAL-EYES-ONLY MATERIAL</strong></p>
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<p>While I’m sure that another Odist has already passed on this information, you should know that two Odists have quit recently, May One Day Death Itself Not Die and I Do Not Know, I Do Not Know, leaving behind no forks. The Ode is now ninety-seven.</p>
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<p>May and Bathe In Dreams were there at the end, and this has led to an increased sense of urgency when it comes to the clade approaching their affliction. To that end, May and Bathe In Dreams are getting in touch with a psychologist recommended from folks on Castor (the Sarah Genet mentioned in the messages I’ve been forwarding) to discuss paths forward.</p>
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<p>May and In Dreams were there at the end, and this has led to an increased sense of urgency when it comes to the clade approaching their affliction. To that end, May and In Dreams are getting in touch with a psychologist recommended from folks on Castor (the Sarah Genet mentioned in the messages I’ve been forwarding) to discuss paths forward.</p>
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<p>These events took place during May’s aforementioned overflowing spell, which led to it being prolonged to nearly a week. She has made it through, and my nose remains intact despite getting tackled, as usual. She has recovered well despite some lingering depression, but this, in combination with some of the news from Castor which you also will have received before this, has me more worried for her than usual. She may be a little terror, but she is my little terror.</p>
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<p>All of them seem to be dealing with this in their own way. May and Dear overflow in their own ways, End Waking’s desire for solitude will override his relationship with Debarre, and now this over on the Death Itself stanza.</p>
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<p>Can you do me a favor when you get a chance, and let me know how True Name#Pollux is doing in this respect in particular? Doesn’t need to be anything too in-depth, but, well, she is a part of this as always, and clearly there is something going on with her here.</p>
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<p>Ioan Bălan</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-02-13</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2022-02-19</p>
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