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Madison Scott-Clary 2021-11-30 19:00:12 -08:00
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writing/post-self/neviim/prologue.html
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<p>Ey had been lost for something beyond an eternity, for &lsquo;eternity&rsquo; implied the existence of time, or at least a form of time that actually meant something. Ey had been lost for a day longer than forever, and had ey been lost for only hours, as Sasha had, it would have been longer still. Even then, the word &lsquo;longer&rsquo; held far too much savor. It burned in the sinuses and left eir eyes stinging with tears.</p>
<p>She had been the first one in more than forever that ey had seen. She had been the one who broke through the wall of eir solipsistic existence and encouraged em to reengage with the world. As the orbits of eir life grew smaller and smaller, they had collapsed into a wandering figure-eight around Sasha, the one who made em complete, and Carter, the one who tied em to reality.</p>
<p>And so it was that, even beyond the meetings and interviews, beyond the panels and studies, ey found emself remaining in touch with her. Once a week or two, ey had make the long walk from eir flat down to the cluster of UCL buildings and wait until she was free for lunch or dinner, or, had ey yet again forgot the meaning of time, wait for her to arrive at work early in the morning so that they could grab coffee together.</p>
<p>She had not questioned it at all. Even that first time, after ey had hunted down her office in the UCL directory and arrived, unannounced, outside of it to wait awkwardly until she pulled back from her rig. She had simply smiled, shaken his hand, and they had gone out for an afternoon cup of coffee with no further discussion. It had simply become the thing that they did every now and then. </p>
<p>She had not questioned it at all. Even that first time, after ey had hunted down her office in the UCL directory and arrived, unannounced, outside of it to wait awkwardly until she pulled back from her rig. She had simply smiled, shaken eir hand, and they had gone out for an afternoon cup of coffee with no further discussion. It had simply become the thing that they did every now and then. </p>
<p>Perhaps that was why ey liked her? Maybe.</p>
<p>Today, at lunch, ey joined Ramirez and two of her coworkers, a Prakash Das and an Avery Wilkins. Vietnamese had been the order of the day, and each of them had consoled em in turn about the loss of eir dear Priscilla, the cat who had been the only other grounding factor in eir life these last two years. A sudden loss of appetite, and then a sudden loss of life, and now ey needed the comfort of friends &mdash; or whatever it was that Carter had become &mdash; and some noise other than quiet jazz and London streets.</p>
<p>To this, ey had simply raised eir cup of tea and nodded to them, saying, &ldquo;To deny the end is to deny all beginnings.&rdquo;</p>