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Madison Scott-Clary 2024-05-08 12:40:08 -07:00
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<p>The Woman rode the high of lovely friendship for days after that coffee date. For nearly a week, she reveled in the sense of camaraderie and coexistence. How lucky she was! How lucky that she had the chance to exist in the same universe as Her Friend! How lucky, how lucky.</p>
<p>Whenever The Woman felt this way, she would wander around the house and clean. She would take on extra cooking duties and make extra desserts for her cocladists and friends. She would go for walks around the field, treating the house itself as a signpost at the center of widening circles. She would imagine that those circles might some day spread out across the entire world, never mind the varied infinities housed within the field itself. It was a thing to which she could give herself as she asked her high-minded questions: am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?</p>
<p>These words of Rilke&rsquo;s would dance unblushing through her mind, linking arms on one side with the words of Dickinson which ever twined around those of her clade — <em>If I should die, And you should live, And time should gurgle on, And morn should beam, And noon should burn, As it has usual done&hellip;</em> — and on the other with the lingering lines of the Ode that made up the names of her clade. &ldquo;I remember the rattle of dry grass,&rdquo; she would explain to the bees as they buzzed in friendship around her ankles. &ldquo;I remember the names of all things and forget them only when I wake.&rdquo;</p>
<p>And so she would cook her meals and walk in widening circles around this primordial tower that was her home, perhaps circling around God, though she did not care one way or the other if there was that of God in everything.</p>
<p>These were her joys to go along with the needs of ritual, of brushing her fingers along imagined <em>mezuzot</em>. To walk was her ritual, to spiral outward from her home in the warmth of sunlight and the dance of bees and the tickling of dandelions against her ankles was to cast that ritual in the light of pleasure.</p>
<p>I have never been quite so fond of walking, myself. There is meditation in it, I am told. I am told there is the simple pleasure of the one-foot-in-front-of-the-other-ness of it. But friends, I am tired most of the time. I am old and I am tired and my pleasure lies in stillness and quiet. I love my mochas and I love sitting down before the page with pen in paw to put to paper, and I love bathing in story.</p>
<p>I say so often that stepping away from such a task is still writing. When I sit on the patio in front of our little bundle of townhouses and look out at the shared lawn, or when I step — <em>stepped,</em> for it is no longer here — out to the shortgrass prairie of my cocladist, to sit beside a cairn of stones or share a meal, that is still writing! Your narrator has written these words, this story, a hundred, a thousand times within her head. That is my joy, and graphomania my compulsion.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2024-05-07</p>
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