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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2020-04-10 22:34:57 -07:00
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>2020-04-10</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
<meta charset="utf-8" />
</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>2020-04-10</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>
<span id="-diary"></span><span class="tag" id="diary">diary</span> <span id="-executive-function"></span><span class="tag" id="executive-function">executive-function</span> <span id="-depression"></span><span class="tag" id="depression">depression</span> <span id="-covid-19"></span><span class="tag" id="covid-19">covid-19</span>
</p>
<p>
Another day of depression, another day of failing to do the things that I need to do. I still feel the tendrils of burnout pulling me down. They're trapping me and keeping me from moving on with my life. The minute I have a task that I need to complete that involves any sort of organization, I just...can't. I sit and stare at the screen. I panic. I dissociate. I cry. I sit on the couch with my phone and watch <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbFT7kCFo9Q">wordless</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvL83-iy-EQ">competency</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PwAQZNLy0I">porn</a>. Is there any reason I should do anything other than fall short of expectations?
</p>
<p>
Obviously that's not quite how the world works. Authors need to be paid, emails need responding to, tasks need completed. Until WA gets their unemployment system fixed, I need to keep on top of applying for jobs. These are all things I <em>need</em> to do, and yet they are things that I have so much trouble actually doing.
</p>
<p>
Maybe it's burnout, but maybe it's just the usual depression mixed with the hopelessness inherent in both another failed election cycle and a global pandemic. Who knows?
</p>
<p>
I just sit here, dilating for too long, and try not to think.
</p>
<div id="Todo"><h2 id="Todo" class="header"><a href="#Todo">Todo</a></h2></div>
<ul>
<li class="done0">
Respond to Hybrid authors
<li class="done0">
Pay Small Loves authors
<li class="done0">
Finish Acethetic reading
<li class="done0">
Patreon posts for Qoheleth
<li class="done4">
Write a chapter, edit a chapter
</ul>
</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2020-04-10</p>
</footer>
</main>
</body>
</html>

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<div id="Diary-2020-April"><h3 id="April" class="header"><a href="#Diary-2020-April">April</a></h3></div> <div id="Diary-2020-April"><h3 id="April" class="header"><a href="#Diary-2020-April">April</a></h3></div>
<ul> <ul>
<li>
<a href="2020-04-10.html">2020-04-10</a>
<li> <li>
<a href="2020-04-09.html">2020-04-09</a> <a href="2020-04-09.html">2020-04-09</a>
@ -30,7 +33,7 @@
</article> </article>
<footer> <footer>
<p>Page generated on 2020-04-09</p> <p>Page generated on 2020-04-10</p>
</footer> </footer>
</main> </main>
</body> </body>