diary livejournal fossils
Shanerak. Huh.
12:00:18 AM rannafox: Emo ;.;
12:00:30 AM rannafox: Shed a tear emo ferret :o)
12:00:34 AM rannafox: I mean, yeah.
12:00:39 AM shanerak: heh
12:03:06 AM rannafox: What's got ya down? Or.. what caused the entry?
12:05:04 AM shanerak: Eh, few things
12:06:37 AM shanerak: Thinking about you, moving back to CO, other people, other shit
12:06:45 AM shanerak: Nothing that won't just blow over like usual
12:07:04 AM rannafox: It'd be good to have you back up here.
12:08:36 AM shanerak: Yeah, but odd also :/
12:08:58 AM rannafox: how so?
12:09:46 AM shanerak: Uh, with you I feel pretty awkward nowadays
12:09:55 AM rannafox: How so?
12:10:06 AM shanerak: I dunno, jealous I guess
12:10:12 AM shanerak: guilty for fuckin things up
12:10:33 AM rannafox: How'd you fuck things up?
12:10:47 AM shanerak: With us? lol
12:11:00 AM shanerak: By breaking it off, trying to find someone else, changing.. I dunno
12:11:07 AM shanerak: ignoring you for a long time?
12:12:29 AM rannafox: I did all of those things, same as you did.
12:12:50 AM rannafox: Even did my best to pretend I was successful at them.
12:14:58 AM shanerak: heh
12:16:03 AM rannafox: Even so, it'll be good to see you again.
12:16:35 AM shanerak: *nods* Yeah, it would
12:17:33 AM rannafox: Do you have a date in mind for when you want to come back up here?
12:17:41 AM rannafox: Assuming you do, that is.
12:17:48 AM shanerak: No idea, really.. about ayear
12:17:51 AM shanerak: when I pay things off
12:18:00 AM rannafox: Yeah.
12:18:23 AM shanerak: Sorry, little distracted, brb :/
12:18:29 AM rannafox: Okie.
12:49:13 AM shanerak: Sorry
12:49:22 AM rannafox: S'okie.
12:49:25 AM shanerak: Some furry talking crap, haha
12:49:43 AM rannafox: Jawsome.
12:49:47 AM shanerak: Yeah dude
12:50:01 AM shanerak: Anyway that micah pic is cute :3
12:50:07 AM rannafox: Which one?
12:50:33 AM shanerak: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/281678/
12:50:37 AM shanerak: one of you and james? o_o
12:50:59 AM rannafox: I was.. not informed of this.
12:51:17 AM shanerak: I bet I just ruined a suprise
12:52:14 AM shanerak: Oops sorry, brb x.x
1:00:16 AM rannafox: The few times we've talked recently, he's been looming nearby, so I really haven't had the chance to say that the more James warms up to me and the less shy he gets, the more I can't stand him. It's to the point where, whenever he comes over, I go hide in my room and he and Oz talk. I kinda thought he and I were on the same level, that affectionate sort of place furries go, not some master-slave mate whatever situation. Guess a talk is in order.
1:33:09 AM shanerak: Mrf, sorry about that
1:33:16 AM rannafox: It's okay.
1:33:16 AM shanerak: Anyway so.. that's weird
1:33:20 AM rannafox: Yeah.
1:34:49 AM rannafox: Talks must be had. I'm not nearly sane enough to have a BDSM babyfur neighbor after me like that and think of a tactful way out of it.
1:35:12 AM shanerak: Yeah..
1:35:14 AM shanerak: babyfur now?
1:35:33 AM rannafox: Yeah, and if he wears a diaper in my apartment one more time, I'm kicking him out.
1:37:22 AM shanerak: Haha, jesus
1:37:40 AM shanerak: Honestly I thought he was one of the few people that would like.. treat you right or whatever
1:38:52 AM rannafox: I don't care how people treat me - sometimes I get off on people walking all over me - but if I can't look at them with a straight face, or if I get angry because they narrate everything my cat does in a high pitched tone of voice, things aren't going to work out.
1:40:31 AM shanerak: Damn, that bad? o.o
1:41:59 AM rannafox: Yeah. c.c Things were okay until I had a brief run-in with someone I thought I liked but really couldn't stand and told James that I liked him a whole lot more than the other person. After that, he started opening up to me all the more. That, and that stupid naked party.
1:43:19 AM shanerak: Heh, naked party..?
1:43:26 AM shanerak: I mean I heard about it, but
1:43:52 AM rannafox: Rocky and Sorin hosted it, I think. bunch of furries hanging around naked and getting drunk. Fucking downstairs and to the left.
1:44:15 AM shanerak: The idea sounds kinda cool, you know.. like get naked with some people, whatever..
1:44:22 AM shanerak: but usually they have to be 'attractive'
1:45:15 AM rannafox: Yeah, that part was kinda fun, even if they weren't so hot, a good way to get to know people REALLY FAST.
1:45:24 AM shanerak: hahaha
1:46:15 AM rannafox: Felt kind of neat to be naked and not be awkward, but that took a few drinks. Haven't felt that way around other people before or since.
1:46:49 AM shanerak: Whatcha mean?
1:48:16 AM rannafox: Generally not comfortable in the nude. Even alone, I feel.. well.. naked.
1:48:19 AM rannafox: Stop.
1:48:23 AM rannafox: Martinitime *sip*
1:49:56 AM shanerak: lol
1:50:07 AM shanerak: Sorry about the random idleness
1:50:16 AM rannafox: I don't mind. Writing, here.
1:50:18 AM shanerak: Lyin down now.. anyway, yeah
1:50:29 AM shanerak: I used to feel like that, all exposed or not comfortable with it or whatever
1:50:51 AM rannafox: Something change?
1:52:01 AM shanerak: Yeah, I mean.. in California I did some stuff and loosened up, no pun intended x.x
1:52:16 AM rannafox: Hahaha.
1:53:00 AM shanerak: But you should feel comfortable, because you look good :3
1:53:36 AM rannafox: It's not a looks thing so much as a covered thing. Even sleeping, I have to have something covering from my ribs to my thighs, no matter how hot :oP
1:54:11 AM shanerak: Oh, well I'm kinda like that, but sharing that space with another person is fine
1:54:53 AM rannafox: Heh, yeah, I miss that.
1:55:47 AM shanerak: *nods*
1:55:54 AM shanerak: Gotta ask something though, or tell, like
1:56:04 AM shanerak: when I'd be over and you'd like get out of bed at night
1:56:12 AM shanerak: that shit bothered me a lot, what was it about? o.o
1:56:25 AM shanerak: Just couldn't sleep?
1:57:21 AM rannafox: Depended on the night. Either that, or crazy-whacked-out hormones would have me all worked up, and I felt bad trying to start something, 'cause you were usually asleep, or not in the mood.
1:57:35 AM shanerak: Aw
1:57:48 AM shanerak: Well as long as it wasn't something I was doing, because I always thought that was the case :P
1:58:46 AM rannafox: No.. I was always too shy to say way, but here we are, on the internet..
1:59:35 AM rannafox: Have a hard time sleeping with other people sometimes, and sometimes, I have a hard time not getting all hormonal when I'm that close to someone.
2:00:19 AM shanerak: Well I'd have a hard time turning that down :3
2:00:29 AM rannafox: Hee.
2:00:37 AM shanerak: I just never wanted to get in the way of anything you had with anyone there, so I kinda tried to not.. do anything, lol
2:00:44 AM rannafox: I always figured I was just being annoying whenever I got that way.
2:00:47 AM shanerak: communication is a good thing I guess
2:00:48 AM shanerak: Nah
2:01:15 AM shanerak: But I guess if we'd developed anything when I was out there, I wouldn't have come back here to pay my shit off and all that, so it's alright
2:02:20 AM rannafox: Yeah :o/ When you do get it paid off, though, you should come back out. You're always welcome at my place, and I'll be looking for a roommate sometime soon, in case you feel like living in Fort Collins :oP
2:02:35 AM shanerak: Cool. I actually thought about it
2:02:59 AM rannafox: $300/mo. utilities included :oP
2:03:00 AM shanerak: Kine wants to move away from the people he's with, and we mostly hang with you, tek, neoti, etc
2:03:05 AM shanerak: hm
2:03:13 AM shanerak: I dunno I'll see o.o
2:03:15 AM rannafox: Except for internet, I guess.
2:03:19 AM shanerak: shit
2:03:26 AM rannafox: Yeah, just to let you know it's an option.
2:03:27 AM shanerak: the internet sneaky
2:03:31 AM shanerak: *nods*
2:03:57 AM rannafox: Rather have someone I know and trust than some random person.
2:04:04 AM rannafox: Or Shannon.
2:04:14 AM rannafox: By the way, don't tell Shannon.
2:04:31 AM shanerak: It's funny really, because I'd been so busy figuring you were off with someone like James or whatever, and I was off hanging with Kine and going bezerk with car shit and whatever else, so I wouldn't really think about you.. us, whatever
2:04:52 AM shanerak: but my last weekend at FFF, and when I stayed with you before I left, I was like all mushy or whatever
2:06:09 AM rannafox: Awr, hehe. I still liked you lots, but distance made things weird, as did going to FFF - I like those guys and all, but I felt mean around them when I was with you, even though it was just normal cynicism. They're kinda.. soft.
2:06:37 AM shanerak: Yeah, I can understand that, I felt the same way.
2:07:05 AM shanerak: I try to be nice, but sometimes it's just like.. damn.
2:07:12 AM rannafox: After getting kicked out by Arik, though, I haven't been back, nor do I plan on going back. It's some separate reality there or something.
2:07:20 AM shanerak: Kicked out?
2:07:23 AM rannafox: 'Damn's a good way of putting it.
2:07:27 AM shanerak: I remember you mentioned it
2:07:40 AM rannafox: Muke got caught being friendly with someone, and Arik disapproved and kicked everyone out.
2:07:59 AM shanerak: Haha how dare he
2:08:10 AM shanerak: Those guys are insane.
2:08:38 AM rannafox: Yeah. I'd known that for a while, but I liked Stef, and it was good to see Shade and Lava, too, so I kept going.
2:08:59 AM shanerak: Yeah..
2:09:10 AM shanerak: I always had fun with them around, but it's like.. eh
2:09:35 AM rannafox: Oh well, no real loss. I have evenings to myself now.
2:09:48 AM shanerak: *nods*
2:10:35 AM rannafox: Or with Oz, who is a whole different brand of weird.
2:10:53 AM shanerak: Hah, I tried hanging out with him right before I left, but I never got to
2:11:49 AM rannafox: He's cool, and he's got a very well defined set of ethics - kind of a weird thing to say, but It's kind of weird when he comes into my room to apologize for getting drunk the night before.
2:12:21 AM shanerak: Yeah, I know what you mean
2:12:25 AM shanerak: he has that way about him
2:15:32 AM rannafox: Anyhow, glad you got on tonight. I was thinking about that post earlier, and came across some of my own about you from back when I visited you in CA. I should try to be better about talking about things instead of just assuming I should be so delicate around you :o)
2:15:55 AM shanerak: You know me, I'm definitely not a delicate person :3
2:16:11 AM rannafox: Hahaha, true.
2:16:17 AM shanerak: But yeah, I'm kinda glad I made it.. honestly I made it because I saw that micah pic, lol, and just got to thinking about it more
2:16:31 AM shanerak: but in CO I felt that way too, and thus no boyfriends
2:17:28 AM rannafox: Aw. Yeah, kinda wish I could've cleared that up. Lots of things I wish for, though. Oh well.
2:17:46 AM shanerak: Not like I'm staying here, I'll be back
2:18:00 AM shanerak: how random, too, that I ended up in CO :P
2:18:32 AM rannafox: Hehe, yup ^^ You better come back. I'm stuck here for a while, I think, with how school's going.
2:18:48 AM shanerak: Yeah, I'll be back :P
2:19:40 AM rannafox: And then you'll get the pouncing of a life time, you furry, you.
2:19:49 AM shanerak: Haha, okay
2:20:35 AM rannafox: Or at least dinner and a movie. Though dinner will be cooked, and the movie will be rented, 'cause I all but quit my job.
2:21:26 AM shanerak: Rented movies are good for curlin up and cooked dinners are better anyway :>
2:22:25 AM rannafox: Haha, yup. I can make a mean whatever's-in-the-cabinets.
2:22:53 AM shanerak: Your food was always good
2:23:34 AM rannafox: I'm turning into a geek about it. Gonna be writing on a food-blog if all goes as planned :oP
2:23:53 AM shanerak: haha nice
2:24:14 AM shanerak: I need to start experimenting more, because at my job I eat dinner at work now, so it's like.. no time to practice x.x
2:24:26 AM rannafox: Oog. Where do you work, anyhow?
2:24:38 AM shanerak: www.aantv.com :P
2:24:53 AM shanerak: inventory, qc shit
2:25:10 AM rannafox: Heh, yeah. Do you work evenings or something?
2:25:22 AM shanerak: 12-8 usually, yeah
2:26:10 AM rannafox: Ah :o/ Yeah. Cooking a bunch in the mornings makes for good breakfast, then dinner the next day. The problem is remembering to bring the food.
2:26:28 AM shanerak: Yeah, I've tried that a few times
2:27:56 AM rannafox: Yeah :o/ The problem with knowing all of my neighbors is that they never leave me leftovers. Even if they did, I forget to bring them with for lunches.
2:28:25 AM shanerak: So who are all your neighbors there?
2:29:19 AM rannafox: James and Doc 'Milkshake' next door, then John and Em downstairs, plus Em's sister and her sister's boyfriend who show up occasionally.
2:29:28 AM shanerak: Ah, damn
2:29:31 AM rannafox: And Oz.
2:29:36 AM shanerak: milkshake haha
2:29:43 AM rannafox: All of whom live off Tuna helper.
2:29:55 AM rannafox: Hee. I can barely stand him.
2:30:05 AM shanerak: ew
2:30:12 AM shanerak: Eh he's okay, they were all nice atleast
2:30:29 AM shanerak: James I just never knew why he seemed to uneasy or whatever around me
2:30:39 AM rannafox: Oh, yeah, he's nice and all, just very frustrating to watch a movie with, and that's the only context I've seen him in recently.
2:30:58 AM rannafox: Well, on the flip side, he could've opened up to you and started wearing diapers around you :D
2:31:17 AM shanerak: rofl I'd make so much fun of him
2:31:53 AM rannafox: I was too disturbed to. He was wearing them to work, for Christ's sake, even if it was on a dare.
2:32:06 AM shanerak: heh..
2:32:29 AM rannafox: That's cool, I mean, if you get your kicks from something. I get my kicks from my right hand most of the time. But that's going a little too far.
2:33:05 AM rannafox: Sorry, still kinda gets to me.
2:33:11 AM shanerak: Well there's something that gets you off, and enjoying that, and then there's making it a lifestyle thing that you do all the times
2:33:13 AM shanerak: time
2:33:16 AM shanerak: what gets to you?
2:33:24 AM rannafox: The lifestyles.
2:33:31 AM shanerak: Well yeah
2:33:42 AM shanerak: It's the difference in me enjoying wearing a collar in bed
2:33:43 AM rannafox: I've pretty much backed out of furry.
2:33:48 AM shanerak: and wearing them to work lol
2:33:53 AM shanerak: Yeah, I noticed
2:34:03 AM rannafox: It nearly turned into a lifestyle.
2:34:08 AM shanerak: I guess I have too.. I mean I'm really furry, but.. not really
2:34:53 AM shanerak: It's much more appealing when hanging with people like Kine, Tek, plastick, few other friends of mine where they're pretty much 'normal' and we just hang out and happen to be furries
2:35:29 AM rannafox: Yeah, I've definitely not lost the whole furry part of it, just gotten rid of the baggage, requirements, and ways of thinking that went along with it.
2:35:52 AM shanerak: Yeah don't lose the fox part, because that is cute :3
2:36:09 AM shanerak: But yeah otherwise, uh.. furry is stupid and I think we're all growing up
2:36:11 AM rannafox: 'Course not, foxes rock.
2:36:15 AM shanerak: word up
2:38:35 AM shanerak: Well anyway glad we talked
2:38:38 AM shanerak: I'm gonna get some sleep
2:39:27 AM rannafox: Definitely :o) Sleep well, talk to you soon, I hope.
2:39:38 AM shanerak: Yeah, take care :>
Shanerak disconnected (2:39:40 AM)