diary livejournal fossils
Someone who means an awful lot to me recently made a post regarding love that brought into question an awful lot of things for me. It touched on a lot of things that I struggled with in the past, including how to tell people that you like them, and polyamory, both things that Michael and I struggled with a good deal and came to no real conclusions about.
For a while now, ever since what happened with Lon, I’ve been telling myself that I’m not stable enough - mentally, and in the sense that school isn’t exactly a stable place - but I’m starting to wonder just what I mean by that. I mean, am I not stable enough for love? For dating? For relating to people at all? I’m starting to think more and more that it’s the second one. The way dating seems to work in this community is that you find someone you think is pretty, say you’re in love, make out, fuck a few times, and move on.
I guess I’ve just been spoiled by the relationships I’ve had in the past, where you.. you know.. fall in love with someone, and maybe, you know, do something about it. I might be too much of a coward for the last bit, though.
A shame, I wish I weren’t…
Oh, and the theme music from the climax of Troy is a rip off of Ralph Vaughn Williams’ Fantasia on a theme by Thomas Tallis.
I replaced the old post for a few reasons: Michael, who is mentioned in the post, is having a hard time convincing his current partner that he is not cheating on him with me, and I don’t think the post would’ve helped that any; and one of my friends has some.. strong opinions about the matter, which I’d rather him not bring up anymore. This repost is just between us, kept for reference