diary livejournal fossils
In my post-recital… ennui? Freedom? Afterglow? Well, anyhow, after my recital, I’ve found that it’s rather difficult to get back into writing music after spending so long away from it simply trying to get the recital up and running with as few hitches as possible (as has already been previously beaten to death here), and even though its been two weeks, I’ve only written about five bars of music.
Part of the problem has been that I was fairly demoralized after the recital. After seeing how difficult it was to pull together the performers and get them learning the music as best as possible in even so long a time, I felt that perhaps I was doing something wrong with my music, writing it in such a way as to make it difficult for the performers to learn, read from, or perform. It was hard for me to go back to writing music that I felt would cause more of the same reactions that I got to my music on my senior recital.
Beyond that, though, I felt that I had lost the sense of process that I had used to write music in the past, a process that served me through several years. Several of my pieces are based off one process or another. For example, each of the Character Dances was based off one aspect of a relationship between me and another. TW was based off the idea of constancy against flightiness. The left hand of the piano only plays two notes for the entire piece, while the right hand skitters around it indicating a change too quick to handle.
Originally published at Drab Makyo - How Dull. Please leave any comments there.