35 lines
2.2 KiB
HTML
35 lines
2.2 KiB
HTML
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<title>ZK | 2020-04-10</title>
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<h1>Zk | 2020-04-10</h1>
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<p><span class="tag">diary</span> <span class="tag">executive-function</span> <span class="tag">depression</span> <span class="tag">covid-19</span></p>
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<p>Another day of depression, another day of failing to do the things that I need to do. I still feel the tendrils of burnout pulling me down. They're trapping me and keeping me from moving on with my life. The minute I have a task that I need to complete that involves any sort of organization, I just...can't. I sit and stare at the screen. I panic. I dissociate. I cry. I sit on the couch with my phone and watch [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbFT7kCFo9Q|wordless]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvL83-iy-EQ|competency]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PwAQZNLy0I|porn]]. Is there any reason I should do anything other than fall short of expectations?</p>
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<p>Obviously that's not quite how the world works. Authors need to be paid, emails need responding to, tasks need completed. Until WA gets their unemployment system fixed, I need to keep on top of applying for jobs. These are all things I <em>need</em> to do, and yet they are things that I have so much trouble actually doing.</p>
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<p>Maybe it's burnout, but maybe it's just the usual depression mixed with the hopelessness inherent in both another failed election cycle and a global pandemic. Who knows?</p>
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<p>I just sit here, dilating for too long, and try not to think.</p>
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<p>== Todo ==</p>
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<ul>
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<li class="done0"> Respond to Hybrid authors</li>
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<li class="done0"> Pay Small Loves authors</li>
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<li class="done0"> Finish Acethetic reading</li>
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<li class="done0"> Patreon posts for Qoheleth</li>
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<li class="done4"> Write a chapter, edit a chapter</li>
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</ul>
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<p>Page generated on 2020-04-11</p>
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