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<h1>Zk | 003</h1>
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<p>date: 2019-08-10
weight: 3
tags:
- inquisitive
- helpful
- snarky
- echoes
categories:
- nostalgia
- ekstasis</p>
<hr />
<blockquote>
<p>Do you remember when you met me?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>When I met you? I don&rsquo;t remember it so much as a meeting as you were just already there.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I was, yes.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>After high school, then. That&rsquo;s when you showed up. That&rsquo;s when life began. That&rsquo;s when I started thinking of myself as a person. That&rsquo;s when I started thinking of others as people, with their own motivations, their own desires, their own incentives and failings.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>And you made it through.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>After a fashion.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>You&rsquo;re here, now. You made it through.</p>
</blockquote>
<div class="verse">She never wanted to be
What she became;
The irony of which
Is not lost on her.</div>
<blockquote>
<p>Touching.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Hey now, don&rsquo;t be rude. Aren&rsquo;t you supposed to be my ally?</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I <strong>am</strong> your ally. I&rsquo;m just not your friend.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Fair enough.</p>
<p>So you showed up after high school. You showed up after life slid sideways through puberty. I went digging, you know. To find this out.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Oh?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Yeah. June 2004. There you are. I say,</p>
<div class="codehilite"><pre><span></span><code><span class="err">The navy blue I&#39;ve been seeing at waist level in front of me and to my left is contentment. I&#39;m not entirely sure that it being omnipresent is a good thing, however, considering the colors it&#39;s mixed with. Am I really content with longing and hopelessness? It&#39;s not out of the question, I suppose that it could just be another aspect of my personality. But that just brings up the question of whether or not it&#39;s something I ingrained into myself through habit, something where I just kinda accepted that feeling such things is normal, okay, and what I want; or is it something I was born with, or that we&#39;re all born with? Is it a side effect of love, expecting impossible desires and the blind hopelessness that follows the end of a four year undertaking?</span>
</code></pre></div>
<p>And you replied&hellip;?</p>
<blockquote>
<p>You&rsquo;re rambling.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>So pleased you remember.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>You&rsquo;re rambling.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I suppose I am. But there you were. You said <em>You&rsquo;re rambling</em> to which I replied &ldquo;Guilty, conspirator.&rdquo; And that was that. That was us. We never greeted each other. Why would we?</p>
<p>I kept digging, too. You stuck around for a year. I saw you off and on until June 2005. In October, 2004, I said that empathy is cooler in person. <em>Why?</em> you asked. <em>So you can verify? Don&rsquo;t you trust your feelings?</em> I said I didn&rsquo;t know, and then I begged you not to go.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Everyone always leaves, don&rsquo;t they?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Perhaps. It&rsquo;s good to hear from you again. Even after fourteen years, I&rsquo;ve missed you.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>And what was the last thing I said to you?</p>
</blockquote>
<p><em>I was going to call you emo, or suicidal, but no, not goth.</em> It was when Ash and Shannon and I found a house to move into.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I believe I also called you a prick.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Was I?</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Yes.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Am I still?</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Yes, but a different kind.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>You&rsquo;re as chipper now as you were then.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Yes, but a different kind.</p>
</blockquote>
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