zk_html/writing/ally/ally/010.html

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<title>Zk | 010</title>
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<h1>Zk | 010</h1>
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<p>date: 2019-08-12
weight: 10
tags:
- earnest
- demanding
categories:
- mental health
- mania</p>
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<p>The first time I remember thinking about polyamory&ndash;</p>
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<p>And here I was hoping you&rsquo;d cave and talk more about mania.</p>
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<p>Why are you so hung up on that? I told you I wouldn&rsquo;t, and you seemed to accept that.</p>
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<p>&lsquo;Seemed to&rsquo;? &lsquo;Accept&rsquo;? Are those things something like me can do?</p>
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<p>Well, if <em>I</em> can&hellip;</p>
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<p>Conceded. No mania, then?</p>
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<p>It&rsquo;s not a comfortable topic.</p>
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<p>Granted. Tell me why, at least.</p>
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<p>It&rsquo;s not a good feeling. Not from the inside, not from the outside. From the inside I&rsquo;ve only caught glimpses of it, even. Glimpses caught through the haze of medication or withdrawal or the mass of ineffable ecstasy comes crashing down upon me. I get all wrapped up in hypomania. Something less. Something just beneath. That thin meniscus between this world and&hellip;something else.</p>
<p>But in others I&rsquo;ve watched &mdash; in some cases, been caught up in &mdash; the frenzy as their world slowly slides out of alignment with consensus reality. They turn from&hellip;</p>
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<p>What?</p>
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<p>You got me talking about it.</p>
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<p>I&rsquo;m pleased you think so highly of me.</p>
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<p>I <em>will</em> talk about it. It&rsquo;s not off the table. I just need something not that for a bit.</p>
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<p>To poly?</p>
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<p><a class="pulse" href="/poly">To poly</a>.</p>
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