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<h1>Zk | Qoheleth --- 2305</h1>
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<p><span class="tag">writing</span> <span class="tag">novel</span> <span class="tag">chapter</span> <span class="tag">fiction</span> <span class="tag">scifi</span> <span class="tag">post-self</span> <span class="tag">qoheleth</span></p>
<p>I loved this feeling. I loved the feeling of a project getting past the architecture state to that point where you could just start to use it. You&rsquo;d been writing all of the interfaces and abstract classes and such for weeks and months (or decades, in my case). Then you&rsquo;d started to fill in all of the inner workings, blocks of code filling out empty pairs of braces.</p>
<p>And then, one day, you had enough that you could type in a command and see if it actually compiled, ran.</p>
<p>And then you&rsquo;d probably buckle down and start writing tests, start pulling together tasks and issues and such. No such luck for me. Old Qoheleth &mdash; I still get a grin every time I say that &mdash; gets to just keep writing until it&rsquo;s time to hit the big green button. There&rsquo;s no testing, there&rsquo;s no explaining if things go wrong. Just go.</p>
<p>I was actually pretty excited about it.</p>
<p>You get old, you know? And you can&rsquo;t die in this place. You can suicide, maybe, crash yourself and try to corrupt the merge, and I guess if I were to quit, there&rsquo;d still be someone to merge with, but they&rsquo;d be dealing with the same problems.</p>
<p>No one ever really dies in the system. They just stop.</p>
<p>And I&rsquo;m sure one of those will happen to me at some point, and probably sooner rather than later, but until then, I&rsquo;ll just keep going more and more nuts. We all will. All of us old&rsquo;uns, and then before long all the young&rsquo;uns too. We gotta see. They all gotta see, but we gotta see, because we&rsquo;re the ones in a position to do something about it.</p>
<p>I keep using &lsquo;we&rsquo;, too, damnit. I&rsquo;m not part of their damn clade anymore. I don&rsquo;t know which of them are or aren&rsquo;t, either, and I don&rsquo;t think they realize that yet.</p>
<p>I just need to keep working on what I can. I kicked Node: [67e97446cdbe3a4a3cfd5ebd75b1260] out into the wild, so they&rsquo;ll probably get there before long. After that, we finish our little game and I get my moment as Qoheleth. I get to be the one to call the assembly together, the one to teach.</p>
<p>And, since I know they&rsquo;ll get into these nodes, too, I have to add that, no, I don&rsquo;t bear a grudge. There&rsquo;s no ill will. This isn&rsquo;t a &ldquo;now I&rsquo;ll show them&rdquo; moment.</p>
<p>I just need them <em>invested</em>. I need them fighting, which is easy, and I need them interested, which is hard. I need them invested in the problem before I stand up and clear my throat, and then I might have the authority, in their eyes, to speak, to teach.</p>
<p>I got them fighting by saying That Name, and I&rsquo;ve got Dear interested. Lovely Dear.</p>
<p>I just need them all invested.</p>
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