zk_html/writing/ally/self-harm/suicide/004.html

52 lines
2.3 KiB
HTML

<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | 004</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" href="https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Gentium+Plus&family=Lato&family=Ubuntu+Monodisplay=swap" />
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
<meta charset="utf-8" />
</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | 004</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<hr />
<p>date: 2019-10-04
weight: 4</p>
<hr />
<p>When I first started therapy, I did what I thought was the right thing by bringing an open mind. It wasn&rsquo;t enough for me to seek help, I had to be told what was wrong with me. So anxious was I to not diagnose myself, I had to let someone do the work to pry the symptoms from me.</p>
<p>I didn&rsquo;t tell Dr Johnston that I was feeling bad. I told him my boss told me I was angry. I didn&rsquo;t tell him that I was depressed, I told him that James was worried about how anxious I was.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>And so you got treated for anxiety.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>And so I got treated for anxiety. I was given clonazepam to take daily and lorazepam for breakthrough anxiety.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>You have always had issues with control. You always needed to be on top of a situation.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>And all my deepest fears, all of those things I would ruminate on during a panic attack, would surround the fact that I wasn&rsquo;t in control of a situation, yes. It made sense to treat the anxiety.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>It hurt.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Yes. I was given a long-acting anxiolytic and a more powerful, shorter-lasting one for breakthrough anxiety. When things hurt, they calmed and soothed the pain. They removed it.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>They removed a lot more than just the pain of panic.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Yes.</p>
</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2023-05-10</p>
</footer>
</main>
<script type="text/javascript">
document.querySelectorAll('.tag').forEach(tag => {
let text = tag.innerText;
tag.innerText = '';
tag.innerHTML = `<a href="/tags.html#${text}">${text}</a>`;
});
</script>
</body>
</html>