46 lines
2.1 KiB
HTML
46 lines
2.1 KiB
HTML
<!doctype html>
|
|
<html>
|
|
<head>
|
|
<title>Zk | 002</title>
|
|
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
|
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
|
|
<meta charset="utf-8" />
|
|
</head>
|
|
<body>
|
|
<main>
|
|
<header>
|
|
<h1>Zk | 002</h1>
|
|
</header>
|
|
<article class="content">
|
|
<hr />
|
|
<p>date: 2019-09-29
|
|
weight: 2</p>
|
|
<hr />
|
|
<p>It's not really so much that I have the need to write about what happened, even, as that, after something of such import, I feel the need to expose myself through writing, to force ideas out into the open whether or not they actually have anything to do with what's going on.</p>
|
|
<blockquote>
|
|
<p>It goes beyond a desire. It becomes a necessity.</p>
|
|
</blockquote>
|
|
<p>Creativity, it seems, is one of those things where, the more you put it to use, the more you <em>must</em> use it.</p>
|
|
<blockquote>
|
|
<p>After a certain point, it forces itself upon you. Hits you like a ton of bricks.</p>
|
|
</blockquote>
|
|
<p>Yes.</p>
|
|
<p>I toyed with how to write about something like this for a few months after it happened before hammering out a five thousand word essay.</p>
|
|
<blockquote>
|
|
<p>You planned on an additional ten thousand.</p>
|
|
</blockquote>
|
|
<p>In this case, after all, I felt the need to actually write about what really happened. I tried the whole "write about something else" thing and it didn't work; it didn't relieve that pressure within myself that needed to be released.</p>
|
|
<blockquote>
|
|
<p>You tried venting little bits of it here and there on twitter, on Facebook.</p>
|
|
</blockquote>
|
|
<p>It didn't work. It kept the pressure from becoming unbearable, perhaps, but only for a few days. After that, the weight of it --- of how easy it was, of how quickly I snapped to, of how badly I could have fucked up --- became too intense to ignore once again.</p>
|
|
<p>So.</p>
|
|
<p>I tried to kill myself on March 21st, 2012. It was, as the epigram said, not a big deal; it was just my big deal.</p>
|
|
</article>
|
|
<footer>
|
|
<p>Page generated on 2020-04-24</p>
|
|
</footer>
|
|
</main>
|
|
</body>
|
|
</html>
|