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<h1>Zk | 03</h1>
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<p>date: 2019-08-18
weight: 3</p>
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<p>TIASAP stands for <em>The Ill-Advised Self-Administration Period</em>.</p>
<p>This is why.</p>
<p>I was unsafe about it.</p>
<p>I lost my sexuality for years.</p>
<p>I turned the need for change into punishment.</p>
<p>The color drained from my universe. The flavor was gone from food. I could not smell.</p>
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<p>And when you added in a bit of estrogen, you wept at the return of sensation.</p>
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<p>I tell myself now that if I belive something to be true when I&rsquo;m depressed as well as when I&rsquo;m hypomanic, it&rsquo;s more likely to be right.</p>
<p>And, well.</p>
<p><a class="pulse" href="/gender">Now I knew it was right</a>.</p>
<p>But I was unsafe, I was punishing myself, and I did it all on purpose.</p>
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<p>Why ruin your life on accident when you can <a class="pulse" href="/self-harm/suicide">do it on purpose</a>?</p>
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