zk_html/writing/ally/burnout/04.html

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<h1>Zk | 04</h1>
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<p>date: 2019-12-14
weight: 4</p>
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<blockquote>
<p>The third time was not the charm.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>No, it was not. Canonical stopped doing something I believed in, so I switched to a company &mdash; Internet Archive &mdash; that <em>was</em> doing something that I believed in, but the process was crap. Now, here I am at a company that&rsquo;s got a great process and is doing something that I really believe in it, and&hellip;</p>
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<p>And you hate it.</p>
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<p>I hate my career. I don&rsquo;t hate my company. I love them. They&rsquo;re great people doing great things and doing them well. I just can&rsquo;t stand programming anymore.</p>
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<p>I don&rsquo;t believe you.</p>
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<p>You don&rsquo;t?</p>
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<p>I don&rsquo;t. You, who have at least two open programming projects you poke at with some regularity.</p>
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<p>I suppose I do, yeah.</p>
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<p>So what do you hate, if you don&rsquo;t hate programming?</p>
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<p>It&rsquo;s not work. I don&rsquo;t hate working.</p>
<p>It&rsquo;s not programming, you&rsquo;re right there. I still love the idea of making something that does what I tell it.</p>
<p>It&rsquo;s not computers, even if I&rsquo;m a bit ambivalent on them.</p>
<p>It&rsquo;s&hellip;well, I definitely hate devops.</p>
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<p>Why?</p>
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<p>It feels&hellip;messy. It feels like I&rsquo;m doing all I can to drag these ephemeral things into line, and none of them want to do it. It feels like all these people have grandiose ideas about what goes into running a system, and none of them agree with each other, and all we can do is to pick the least-bad one.</p>
<p>It destroys this idea that computers are a thing that you can ask to do something, and they can do it. There are more non-deterministic bugs in devops than in any other area of dealing with computers than I&rsquo;ve experienced.</p>
<p>It makes me want to take up Haskell.</p>
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<p>All very sensible.</p>
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<p>If such a thing can be said of it.</p>
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<p>Is that why you&rsquo;re burnt out, then?</p>
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<p>No.</p>
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<p>Then why?</p>
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<p>I don&rsquo;t know.</p>
<p>Perhaps I&rsquo;m only good for seven years at a time, like I said.</p>
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<p>Did you burn out on music?</p>
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<p>I would say that I was burnt, but I placed that on the performers at my recital.</p>
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<p>Had your recital gone perfectly, would you still have felt burned out, though?</p>
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<p>Perhaps.</p>
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<p>Would you still have gone into computers?</p>
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<p>Definitely.</p>
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<p>Would you still be composing?</p>
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<p>I don&rsquo;t know.</p>
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