update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/toledot/launch/launch/Codrin-pollux/006.md

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 # Codrin Bălan#Pollux --- 2325
 
-Throughout eir relationship with Dear, Codrin had had chances to meet several other furries, both those who had been in the subculture prior to uploading and those who had come to it after. They had come in various shapes and sizes, the two notable examples of which were a room-filling dragon of some sort (or so ey guessed) and a perfectly ordinary house cat. Perfectly ordinary except for her heavily inflected and curse-laden speech.
+Throughout eir relationship with Dear, Codrin had had chances to meet several other furries, both those who had been in the subculture prior to uploading and those who had come to it after. They had come in various shapes and sizes, the two notable examples of which were a room-filling dragon of some sort (or so ey guessed) and a perfectly ordinary house cat. Perfectly ordinary, that is, except for her heavily inflected and curse-laden speech.
 
 Despite not having the chance to meet him yet, ey had also learned much about Debarre from eir conversations with the various members of the Ode clade, as well as eir research into the Council of Eight.
 
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ Made sense.
 
 There was a strange atmosphere at the modern house on the prairie that afternoon. It hovered somewhere between a party, or at least a gathering of friends, and a council meeting.
 
-What had started as a suggestion to get a few voices together for Codrin to interview had then turned into a suggestion for a dinner party, and from there into the cozy, wine-fogged house party that might sprout from a group of friends who enjoyed company, but also quiet.
+What had started as a suggestion to get a few voices together for Codrin to interview had then turned into a suggestion for a dinner party, and from there into what promised to be a cozy, wine-fogged house party that might sprout from a group of friends who enjoyed company, but also quiet.
 
 The guests started arriving in the late afternoon, with the first to arrive being Debarre. Dear greeted him with a grin and a hug before the slender mustelid greeted both of the fox's partners with paw-shakes and half-hugs.
 
@@ -30,9 +30,9 @@ He was greeted with an enthusiastic handshake from Dear, who announced, *"This i
 
 *"A truly heroic feat, that."*
 
-user11824 rolled his eyes and allowed himself to be guided in to where there was wine and a few trays of snacks. Debarre greeted him warmly --- more so, Codrin noticed, than Dear had, though ey could not guess why.
+user11824 rolled his eyes and allowed himself to be guided in to where there was wine and a few trays of snacks. He greeted Debarre warmly --- more so, Codrin noticed, than he had Dear, though ey could not guess why.
 
-The final guest was a tall, black gentleman dressed in a plain white tunic and white linen pants, who Dear greeted with a handshake that bordered on gentle. He seemed anxious nearly to the point of panic, so Codrin and Dear's partner simply bowed to him unobtrusively.
+The final guest was a tall, black gentleman dressed in a plain white tunic and white linen pants, who Dear greeted with a handshake that bordered on delicate. He seemed anxious nearly to the point of panic, so Codrin and Dear's partner simply bowed to him unobtrusively.
 
 Codrin watched the reactions of the other guests, making note of how they both treated him with some mix of deference and awe that ey could not quite place.
 
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ Once the drinks had been poured and passed around, Dear stood and, in the grand
 
 Ey laughed and raised eir glass. "I'm in."
 
-*"The toast, then!"* Dear composed itself, standing up straighter and holding its glass aloft. *"To the complete and utter stupidity of anyone unlucky enough to get involved in politics, and the utter hubris of this launch nonsense."*
+*"The toast, then!"* Dear composed itself, standing up straighter and holding its glass aloft. *"To the complete and utter stupidity of anyone unlucky enough to wind up in politics, and the utter hubris of anyone who tries."*
 
 Debarre laughed and raised his glass, "I'll drink to that."
 
@@ -138,7 +138,7 @@ Dear's partner laughed. "Why'd you even join, then?"
 
 "There were three of them on the Council. Part of the initial agreement, since the System was originally hosted somewhere in Russia." Debarre counted off on his fingers. "Those three, me, user11824, Zeke, and then Michelle and Jonas."
 
-"Well, I know the Odists are here on the LVs, as well as you two and Zeke. Are Jonas and the Russians here?"
+"Well, I know the Odists are here on the LVs, as well as you two and Ezekiel. Are Jonas and the Russians here?"
 
 user11824 frowned. "That's an interesting question."
 
@@ -190,9 +190,9 @@ Yared nodded. "Yes. As soon as it was decided that anyone could become a Christi
 
 user11824 rolled his eyes and finished his wine.
 
-"In Toledot Yeshu, Paul is actually a plant from the Jewish authorities, though it is vague as to who, whose goal was to introduces enough changes to the budding religion to cause it to split away so that it wouldn't remain a sect of Judaism."
+"In Toledot Yeshu, Paul is actually hinted at being a plant from the Jewish authorities, though it is vague as to who, whose goal was to introduces enough changes to the budding religion to cause it to split away so that it wouldn't remain a sect of Judaism."
 
-*"Many viewed Jesus as a rabbi,"* Dear interjected. *"And had that lasted to the point where Judaism headed into a rabbinical tradition, his teachings would have become part of that."*
+*"Many viewed Jesus as a rabbi,"* Dear interjected. *"And had that lasted to the point where Judaism headed into a rabbinical tradition, his teachings would have become part of the faith."*
 
 Codrin frowned. "Are you suggesting that Secession was engineered to keep the System from remaining a part of society, phys-side?"