update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/011.md

@@ -98,7 +98,7 @@ They frowned at each other.
 
 *I'm glad End Waking gave us two tents,* Ioan thought. *It's been civil so far, but...*
 
-Out loud, ey asked, "So, what's next? We head back tomorrow and build you a room, but then what?"
+Aloud, ey asked, "So, what's next? We head back tomorrow and build you a room, but then what?"
 
 "What is next is that I try to salvage what I can from this. I imagine that my options will be severely limited if I am to continue existing as I am and still meet Jonas's demands, but that does not mean that I will set my goals aside."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/012.md

@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 
 Everyone was off in the morning. Tired, grumpy, sore.
 
-The narrowness of the cots had frustrated Ioan and May throughout the night. They *could* both fit on one, but only if they straightened out rather than their usual tight curl. At one point, they tried dragging the cots to be side by side, but the frames against each other made a hard ridge that was impossible to rest on comfortably. In the end, they'd fallen asleep, each on their own cots, facing each other with arms tangled enough to get at least some contact through the night.
+The narrowness of the cots had frustrated Ioan and May throughout the night. They *could* both fit on one, but only if they straightened out rather than their usual tight curl. At one point, they tried dragging the cots to be side by side, but the frames against each other made a hard ridge that was impossible to rest on comfortably. In the end, they'd fallen asleep, each on their own cot, facing each other with arms tangled enough to get at least some contact through the night.
 
 Whether or not True Name had actually slept seemed up in the air. She had shrugged noncommittally when asked, but it certainly didn't look like she had.
 
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ May leaned up and dotted her nose against eir cheek. "You, my dear, are an utter
 
 True Name followed them into the den. "Please. I am going to fall over if I do not have something."
 
-May flopped down onto her usual beanbag and rubbed her paws over her face while True Name sat at the dining table and Ioan made coffee. "If it is alright by you two, I am going to take a shower after coffee, as hot as I can stand," May said. "And then we can work on the addition."
+May flopped down onto her usual beanbag and rubbed her paws over her face while True Name sat quietly at the dining table and Ioan made coffee. "If it is alright by you two, I am going to take a shower after coffee, as hot as I can stand," May said. "And then we can work on the addition."
 
 "Sure. I can start by mirroring our room and then stripping personal items while you're getting cleaned up."
 
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ They drank in silence for a while, minus a thank you from each of the skunks, th
 
 It worked a little too well, perhaps, as ey had to nudge May awake to finish her coffee and shower, and the prospect of levering emself out of the beanbag felt out of reach. All the same, ey needed to at least get the other room created, then perhaps the three of them could nap.
 
-Once May was on her way to the shower, ey stood, finished eir coffee, and began to work. Ey dumped a series of intents into the sim. A doorway cut itself out of the wall opposite the doorway to eir own bedroom. A room extruded itself beyond the doorway, filling itself with all of the very same stuff that eirs and May's contained. The sim's boundaries whined in protest at not having enough for the windows to look out on and, too tired to think of any other options, ey mirrored the view of the yard as well so that True Name's room looked out over yet more grass and dandelions.
+Once May was on her way to the shower, ey stood, finished eir coffee, and began to work. Ey dumped a series of intents into the sim. A doorway cut itself out of the wall opposite the one to eir own bedroom. A room extruded itself beyond the doorway, filling itself with all of the very same stuff that eirs and May's contained. The sim's boundaries whined in protest at not having enough for the windows to look out on and, too tired to think of any other options, ey mirrored the view of the yard as well so that True Name's room looked out over yet more grass and dandelions.
 
 *If she stays for any real length of time, maybe I can just mirror the rest of the house and she can have a full setup.*
 
@@ -70,7 +70,7 @@ Instead, ey said, "You're a good person, May."
 
 She tightened her grip around em. "Thank you, my dear."
 
-When True Name finished her shower and grooming, looking far more herself than she had since the year before, they sat around the dining table to hash out boundaries.
+When True Name finished her shower and grooming, looking far more herself than she had since the month before, they sat around the dining table to hash out boundaries.
 
 "I do not want to impose on you more than I already have," she began. "I will certainly stay out of your private space, and I figure a closed door is a plain enough signal to be left alone. Should I stick to my room for the most part?"
 
@@ -78,7 +78,7 @@ May let out a snort of laughter. "I am sorry, True Name. I do not mean to laugh,
 
 The skunk canted her ears back. "I am in shock, May Then My Name. My coworker of two centuries just tried to kill me. My life's work has been cut off from me. I have been invited to stay with one of the two up-tree instances of mine who dislike me the most, and I have never had to live with anyone before, not since before we uploaded. The offer remains for me to dig my own sim."
 
-May bowed apologetically.
+May bowed her head apologetically.
 
 "I'd feel better if you stayed," Ioan admitted. "It'd be too easy for you to either disappear into your new sim forever or wind up with another attempt on your life whenever you left."