update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/004.md

@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ She looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "Solid competition."
 
 "I do!"
 
-She laughed and dotted her nose against eir cheek. "Excellent, I shall allow you to live another day."
+She laughed and dotted her nose against eir cheek. "Excellent, I shall allow you to live another day. I had considered becoming a panther for some time, but I like my tail too much."
 
 "You know, I've always wondered," ey said, getting an arm around her. "Why did the most political stanza of the clade stay skunks? Wouldn't it be more effective to be humans? It's not like the majority of folks on the Systems are furries."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/024.md

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 # Ioan Bălan --- 2350
 
-Once they were fed and Debarre was safely on his way home --- or at least merged down-tree --- Ioan begged off from talking any further and trudged down the hall to the spare room he borrowed whenever May needed space. Ey claimed to need a nap and, while ey was certainly tired enough, sleep seemed unlikely
+Once they were fed and Debarre was safely on his way home --- or at least merged down-tree --- Ioan begged off from talking any further and trudged down the hall to the spare room he borrowed whenever May needed space. Ey claimed to need a nap and, while ey was certainly tired enough, sleep seemed unlikely.
 
 The walk and cry in the field before ey'd joined Douglas at his house had been necessary, but also had only served to highlight just how woefully out of eir depth ey truly was.
 
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ She nodded, gestured for em to continue.
 
 "Still, I imagine that just having the anxiety of it potentially going rough doesn't feel good."
 
-"Not at all, no. I feel like I'm constantly on guard, always ready to jump in and smooth things out, even if I haven't really had to do so. I'm trying to let them both just do their own thing, though, and every time I catch myself feeling that way, I try to change contexts."
+"Not at all, no. I've been feeling like I'm constantly on guard, always ready to jump in and smooth things out, even if I haven't really had to do so. I'm trying to let them both just do their own thing, though, and every time I catch myself feeling that way, I try to change contexts."
 
 "That's good," she said. "Has it been helping, at least?"
 
@@ -58,11 +58,11 @@ She looked down to the grass thoughtfully as they walked. "Can you tell me about
 
 "I didn't really get the chance to ask her about why it was that she was considering merging. We promised to talk about it more, but after that, things happened pretty quickly. There's a weird sort of jealousy that goes along with it. May and I have built our own life completely independent of True Name. We bowed out of politics and writing these grand, System-spanning tales and focused on just being together. That's why I got into writing plays, I think: it was a way for me to do the things that felt comfortable for me in a way that didn't involve being involved in all these crazy goings-on.
 
-"So we built our life together. True Name respected that, too. She would ask about May and I, and seemed earnestly happy that we'd gone and done something so...normal."
+"So we built our life together. True Name respected that, too. She would ask about me and May, and seemed earnestly happy that we'd gone and done something so...normal."
 
 "Do you think she's envious of that?"
 
-Ey frowned and scuffed a heel through the grass. "I don't know, honestly. Again, if you'd asked me a few weeks ago, I would have said probably not, that she's got her own things that make her happy which don't involve putting on plays or poking fun at each other. Now, though I'm not so sure. This whole thing about the merge adds another layer onto that, because suddenly, True Name would have all of those memories."
+Ey frowned and scuffed a heel through the grass. "I don't know, honestly. Again, if you'd asked me a few weeks ago, I would have said probably not, that she's got her own things that make her happy which don't involve putting on plays or poking fun at each other. Now, though, I'm not so sure. This whole thing about the merge adds another layer onto that, because suddenly, True Name would have all of those memories."
 
 "Does it bother you that she would have the memories, or are you worried about her having those emotions? Do you worry she'd start feeling about you the way that May Then My Name does?"
 
@@ -104,13 +104,13 @@ She smiled. "I suspected so. I'm used to it, now. So, before I continue, are you
 
 "That it doesn't feel great to say is a sign that you care deeply enough to not want to detract from that energy, so it's not a bad thing, but you do need to take care of yourself, yes." She looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, "Alright. I know you said they're both currently overflowing, but what do you think about talking with each of them about how you're feeling about this?"
 
-"Uh, well, I mean" ey stammered. "I guess I should, yeah."
+"Uh, well, I mean," ey stammered. "I guess I should, yeah."
 
 "'Should'?"
 
-"Right. Should statement. I'd like to, but they both feel kind of fraught. Talking with May about being friends with True Name has come up before but feels fraught with how they feel about each other, or at least felt about each other. Hell, I don't know how I'd tell True NameI care about her, either. And I don't particularly want to be the one to broach May merging down with True Name, either. That feels like a conversation they should start as cocladists."
+"Right. Should statement. I'd like to, but they both feel kind of fraught. Talking with May about being friends with True Name has come up before but feels fraught with how they feel about each other, or at least felt about each other. Hell, I don't know how I'd tell True Name I care about her, either. And I don't particularly want to be the one to broach May merging down with True Name. That feels like a conversation they should start as cocladists."
 
-"They're complicated topics, and I'm not saying you *must* talk about them, but it'll only help for the three of you to all be on the same page. It'd be a good exercise for you being more active, as well."
+"They're complicated topics, and I'm not saying you *must* talk about them, but it'll only help for the three of you to all be on the same page. It'd be a good exercise for you to be more active, as well."
 
 Ey nodded.
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/025.md

@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@ Ey nudged at her snout with eir chin. "Well, I missed you too, so it works out.
 
 "I am not feeling spectacular, but I am feeling well enough to not be alone. Now does not feel like a good time to be alone." She leaned back enough to smile at em, and though it was a little shaky and her face was still a mess, ey was pleased to see that it was earnest. "Are you okay, my dear? I do not imagine it was the best of times for this to happen."
 
-Remembering eir conversation with Sarah only two days back, ey checked the urge to refocus on the topic on her, instead saying, "It was a little rough, yeah. I got in touch with Sarah and set up an emergency thing a few hours after I got here."
+Remembering eir conversation with Sarah only two days back, ey checked the urge to refocus the conversation on her, instead saying, "It was a little rough, yeah. I got in touch with Sarah and set up an emergency thing a few hours after I got here."
 
 "I am sorry, Ioan."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/026.md

@@ -126,7 +126,7 @@ She rolled her eyes.
 
 "Look, why are you really out here?" Ioan asked. "Clearly it isn't just to say hi, and clearly you got access somehow. Got news from Jonas or something?"
 
-"Very preceptive!" Zacharias said, grinning happily. "Just out here checking up on True Name to see if she has any further thoughts on our little gathering."
+"Very perceptive!" Zacharias said, grinning happily. "Just out here checking up on True Name to see if she has any further thoughts on our little gathering."
 
 "Checking up on someone you tried to assassinate?"
 
@@ -196,7 +196,7 @@ Ey didn't like it at all.
 
 Once ey'd reached the bottom of eir glass, ey sighed and said, "Alright. What the hell was that about?"
 
-"Jonas felt the need to show a bit of muscle," True Name said, voice flat and dull. "He wanted to rub it in my face that he still has Zacharias in his pocket, that he knows where I am. I do not think he actually cared about asking me when we would meet, he was just making his leverage felt. I suspect he was planning on you two showing up, as well, now that I think about it."
+"Jonas felt the need to show a bit of muscle," True Name said, voice flat and dull. "He wanted to rub it in my face that he still has Zacharias in his pocket, that he knows where I am. I do not think he actually cared about asking me when we would meet, he was just making his leverage felt. I suspect he was planning on you two showing up as well, now that I think about it."
 
 "Why?"