makyo
/
zk
1
0
Fork 0
Code Issues Pull Requests Projects Releases Wiki Activity

update from sparkleup

This commit is contained in:
Madison Scott-Clary 2021-05-26 17:45:05 -07:00
parent 0bce16e5db
commit 6809b334a0
1 changed files with 6 additions and 0 deletions
Show Stats Download Patch File Download Diff File Expand all files Collapse all files

6
writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/71.md
View File

@ -30,6 +30,12 @@ I remember the surety of knowledge after that, that the only one I was hurting t
Liking someone isn't a sin. It cannot be, must not be. But here I am, wallowing in my own pain, and that is where I veer close to sin.
Why must we Catholics wrap our every action up in shame? There must be some root for some bad thing in my life. If I am depressed, it must be for some reason, for something that I have done, yes? If I struggle this much for liking someone, clearly there must be something shameful about that, yes? That sense of dread, that sour, ashen taste in the mouth, that is a sign from God that we have strayed from the path he has set before us, yes?
I'm a *therapist*. I should *not* be thinking this way. It's not just wrong, but it bears the weight of hypocrisy.
Even as a Christian, there is little enough reason for me to think this way.
I don't know. I'm spinning my wheels, talking in circles. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go from here. To name a feeling may be to understand it, but understanding has gotten me nowhere, has purchased me nothing but a deeper ache in my gut, and now I must feed my desires all over again.
[^codependence]: I suspect that their relationship is codependent, as I think that her husband gets as much out of taking care of her as she gets out of him taking the lead. However, I don't think that it's abusive or manipulative in anyway, simply that this is the way that their relationship works. If there is any negative aspect to the codependency, that, I suspect, is egosyntonic.