update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/remote/tycho/001.md

@@ -2,11 +2,11 @@
 
 Tycho found himself focusing most on True Name after the long spate of introductions.
 
-A small part of him wondered at this. All four races of Artemisians sitting around the table with them were fascinating in their own way. Part of him wanted to get lost in exploring the intricacies of Turun Ka and Turun Ko. Another desperately wanted to learn as much as he could from Stolon despite the stated goal of focusing on social interactions for this instance of the meeting.
+A small part of him wondered at this. All four races of Artemisians sitting around the table with them were fascinating in their own way. Part of him wanted to get lost in exploring the intricacies of Turun Ka and Turun Ko. Another desperately wanted to learn as much as he could from Stolon despite the stated goal of focusing on social interactions and history for this instance of the meeting.
 
 And yet, it was all so overwhelming. So much was happening all at once. So many things demanded his attention that the part of himself tasked with observing all but shut down, and instead he focused on True Name.
 
-Why Ask Questions --- or perhaps Answers Will Not Help --- had calmed down, at least to the point where she was able to sit still and look down at the table. Her introduction had been stammered and, after that, she had remained quiet. It seemed as though she was spending every joule of energy she had on remaining still, remaining herself. Even then, a wave of skunk would occasionally wash over her form and she would clench her eyes shut
+Why Ask Questions --- or perhaps Answers Will Not Help --- had calmed down, at least to the point where she was able to sit still and look down at the table. Her introduction had been stammered and, after that, she had remained quiet and withdrawn. It seemed as though she was spending every joule of energy she had on remaining still, remaining herself. Even then, a wave of skunk would occasionally wash over her form and she would clench her eyes shut
 
 Codrin bore eir usual curious, attentive expression. Something about em seemed to suggest that, when working, ey became a camera of sorts, taking in all light, all sound, all sensation and storing it away for future reference. Even when the facade of work dropped, ey seemed built to witness.
 
@@ -16,19 +16,19 @@ Tycho wished for that same sense of calm, of stability.
 
 And so, with the other emissaries well known and the Artemisians perhaps too interesting to look at, he focused on True Name.
 
-The skunk seemed to have an internal struggle of her own, not dissimilar from Why Ask Questions/Answers Will Not Help's, but she was better able to hold it at a distance, wrap it all up and set it down, observe rather than fight. Only twice that he had seen since they had gathered around the table had there been a wave of that human form of Michelle Hadje spreading across her features, but that was quickly mastered.
+The skunk seemed to have an internal struggle of her own, not dissimilar from Why Ask Questions's/Answers Will Not Help's, but, as far as he could tell, she was better able to hold it at a distance, wrap it all up and set it down, observe rather than fight. Only twice that he had seen since they had gathered around the table had there been a wave of that human form of Michelle Hadje spreading across her features, but that was quickly mastered.
 
 *How much must be going on beneath the surface?* he wondered. *She seems like she's a hundred percent here, and yet there's still something deeper going on.*
 
 She caught him looking and gave him a wan smile, before addressing the table. "I think that it would be beneficial if we were to know the specialties that everyone holds, as that might help us better understand the ways in which we speak."
 
-"By specialties," Artante said. "You mean our primary areas of interest."
+"By specialties," Artante said. "You mean our primary areas of interest?"
 
 True Name nodded. "Yes."
 
 There was a brief blur around the Artemisians as, Tycho guessed, they shifted to fast time to discuss this.
 
-When they dropped back down to common time, Turun Ka tilted its snout up. "We are amenable to this. By role, then. I act as leader for this delegation as well as a member of the Council of Eight, which serves in a leadership role for the collected societies here on what you call Artemis. My specialization is on interspecies communication."
+When they dropped back down to common time, Turun Ka tilted its snout up. "We are amenable to this. By role, then, I act as leader for this delegation as well as a member of the Council of Eight, which serves in a leadership role for the collected societies here on what you call Artemis. My specialization is on interspecies communication."
 
 The skunk's ears flitted briefly as it spoke. "Thank you, leader Turun Ka. For my part, I act as leader for this delegation. There is no central leadership for our System, but I am a member of a group of individuals and clades keenly interested in the stability and continuity of our society." She smiled, strain showing around her eyes. "This was not always the case, as the System was originally guided by a group of individuals also known as the Council of Eight. This was disbanded two hundred years ago once the society reached equilibrium, but I was a member from start to end."
 
@@ -36,9 +36,9 @@ The firstracer rocked its head from side to side in a gesture that Tycho suppose
 
 True Name nodded.
 
-"I serve as recorder here," Codrin said when no one else spoke up. "As well as in general. I am a historian and writer, and have often found myself taking part in large-scale events as a recorder so that I might witness and then write a coherent story after."
+"I serve as recorder here," Codrin said when no one else spoke up. "I am a historian and writer, and have often found myself taking part in large-scale events as a recorder so that I might witness and then write a coherent story after."
 
-"We are alike, recorder Codrin Bălan," Turun Ko said. "I serve and have served as observer-recorder since creation and launch of our vehicle-system. I specialize in creating stories-accounts-retellings of events so that others may listen-understand. I am pleased to meet you."
+"We are alike, recorder Codrin Bălan," Turun Ko said. "I serve and have served as observer-recorder since creation and launch of our vehicle-system. I specialize in creating stories-accounts-retellings of events so that others may listen-learn-understand. I am pleased to meet you."
 
 Codrin nodded to it, smiling. "As am I."
 
@@ -78,9 +78,9 @@ They bowed their head. "It will remain available. Please ask if you require. Tim
 
 "We had wondered about that," Codrin said. "Your reply to our letters was almost instantaneous. Even when we had several instances of a single individual working on a problem, we were slower."
 
-"Some problems are easier to work on in parallel than others," Artante said.
+"Some problems are harder to work on in parallel than others," Artante said.
 
-"I suppose responding to a letter is one of those, yeah, unless it is responding to otherwise unconnected points in a letter."
+"I suppose responding to a letter is one of those, yeah, unless it's responding to otherwise unconnected points in a letter."
 
 The fourthracer nodded. "We were like you before we arrived. We had the concept of forking but not of time skew."
 
@@ -90,7 +90,7 @@ Tycho kept waiting for True Name to interrupt, for her to tell them that they ne
 
 "Similar, yes, though only if the fork was created from the current instance."
 
-True Name tilted her head, gestured for the representative to continue.
+True Name tilted her head, gestured for the representative to explain.
 
 Artante looked thoughtful as she continued, more slowly now. "I could fork from who I am now and then be able to accept the memories of that instance without issue. If I were to fork from who I was five minutes ago, accepting those memories would be very difficult. Forking from more than a day in the past made accepting memories all but impossible."
 
@@ -100,9 +100,9 @@ Stunned silence from the emissaries greeted this explanation.
 
 "We can only fork from the present. From the current instance, as you say," Codrin said. "That's a fascinating idea, though. Do you know how it worked? If Dear --- my instance artist partner, that is --- could do that, it would open up worlds of possibilities to it."
 
-She bowed apologetically. "It has been nearly a millennium since I have been able to fork, recorder Codrin, and even then, I was not very adept at it. In one of your letters, you discussed dissolution strategies; I was what you would call a tasker."
+She bowed apologetically. "It has been nearly a millennium since I have been able to fork, recorder Codrin, and even then, I was not very adept at it. In one of your letters, you discussed dissolution strategies; I was what you would call a tasker. I will ask another of my kind for details after the conference."
 
-Codrin laughed and elbowed Tycho in the side. The astronomer rolled his eyes.
+Codrin grinned and elbowed Tycho in the side. The astronomer rolled his eyes.
 
 "As am I," he said. "Never got the hang of it, never really felt the need to."
 
@@ -122,9 +122,9 @@ There was another brief blur from the Artemisians as they discussed among themse
 
 "Not in the same fashion, but some had trouble, yes." Artante hesitated, glanced at Turun Ka, and then continued. "We have decided that it would be best to revisit this topic later on in our meeting, however, as we do not want to distract from other topics we must cover during our time together."
 
-Why Ask Questions/Answers Will Not Help nodded. "Would appreciate that," she said, the words coming out slurred and elongated. She seemed to be having an increasingly hard time remaining in common time, not to mention remaining in one form. "Can we take a break for a few?"
+Why Ask Questions/Answers Will Not Help nodded. "Would appreciate that," she said, the words coming out slurred and elongated as she veered into and out of slow time. She seemed to be having an increasingly hard time remaining in common time, not to mention remaining in one form. "Can we take a break for a few?"
 
-Turun Ka stood from where it had crouched. "Yes. Please feel free to head back to your rest area or a unison room for the next fifteen minutes common time, and then we shall reconvene."
+Turun Ka stood from where it had crouched. "Yes. Please feel free to return to your rest area or a unison room for the next fifteen minutes common time, and then we shall reconvene."
 
 "Can we do so in a unison room?"
 
@@ -138,4 +138,4 @@ True Name jolted at the brief recitation, standing quickly and taking her coclad
 
 Tycho looked to Codrin, who only frowned.
 
-Something had happened, just then. Something of import. He had no clue as to what it had been. Neither did he understand how, he realized, but he knew that it was something distressing. Something wrong.
+Something had happened, just then. Something of import. He had no clue as to what it had been, though and neither did he understand how, he realized, but he knew that it was something distressing. Something wrong.