update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/toledot/secession/phys/Yared/006.md

@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@ He had yet to start his day, instead reveling in the cool quiet of the morning,
 
 At least the knock on his door was polite.
 
-He hurried to throw on his clothes and kick his bed into something resembling a made state, tossed last night's take-out container in the trash, and rubbed the last of the sleep from his eyes before answering the door.
+He hurried to throw on his clothes and kick his bed into something resembling a made state, tossed last night's take-out container in the trash, and rub the last of the sleep from his eyes before answering the door.
 
 "Mr. Zerezghi." Councilor Demma's driver nodded cordially. "The councilor would like to speak with you at your earliest convenience."
 
@@ -40,13 +40,13 @@ Demma sighed and set aside his own coffee. "I have a suspicion that I know who o
 
 "I suppose." Yared bit his lip and considered the possible consequences of sharing the names of his contacts, deciding that if he shared just one, that perhaps that would be enough without compromising the identity of both. "You say 'he'. The man that I'm in discussions with is named Jonas. Is that the one you're thinking of?"
 
-The councilor sighed and sat back into the cushy microfiber seat. "Yes. I was rather afraid of that."
+The councilor sighed and slouched back into the cushy microfiber seat. "Yes. I was afraid of that."
 
 "How so?"
 
-"He is a very slippery man, Yared. While I suppose that it is nice that his goals align with ours on the issue of rights and secession --- I can read between the lines as well as he can, I know who he's tapped phys-side --- that is not always guaranteed to be the case." He finished his own coffee and accepted Yared's cup when offered to dispose of in the trash. "Slippery and manipulative. I worry that you are at risk of being played by him, of becoming his puppet."
+"He is a very slippery man, Yared. While I suppose that it's nice that his goals align with ours on the issue of rights and secession --- I can read between the lines as well as he can, I know who he's tapped phys-side --- that is not always guaranteed to be the case." He finished his own coffee and accepted Yared's cup when offered to dispose of in the trash. "Slippery and manipulative. I worry that you are at risk of being played by him, of becoming his puppet."
 
-*Aren't I already yours?* he thought. Instead, he said, "He seems friendly enough, but I suppose I can see how that might be used to guide me. He hasn't asked for any favors or anything, at least."
+*Aren't I already yours?* he thought. Instead, he said, "He seems friendly enough, but I guess I can see how that might be used to guide me. He hasn't asked for any favors or anything, at least."
 
 "And have you told him about our little agreement?" When Yared quailed under Demma's gaze, the councilor shook his head. "I cannot say I'm pleased, Mr. Zerezghi, but I'm also not particularly surprised."
 
@@ -68,13 +68,13 @@ Nodding, the councilor said, "Thank you, Yared. I'm glad to see that we are more
 
 "You won't talk to him?" Yared asked.
 
-"That's far to risky for my current position. It's plausibly deniable that you were already talking to him before we reached our agreement, should that agreement be made public. If I were to talk to him, though..." He trailed off with a shrug and a half-smile.
+"That's far to risky for my current position. It's plausibly deniable that you were already talking to him before we reached our agreement, should that agreement be made public. It's true enough, isn't it? If I were to talk to him, though..." He trailed off with a shrug and a half-smile.
 
 "I understand."
 
 "I'm glad that you do." Demma flicked his eyes up to the driver's rear-view mirror, and the car slid to a halt in a parking spot. "Mr. Zerezghi, a pleasure as always. We will be keeping an eye out for your post later today."
 
-Yared blinked, looking out through the window at the outskirts of the financial district. It would be easily an hour's walk back to his apartment, and about as long of a bus-ride. He didn't even have his phone.
+Yared sat up, looking out through the window at the outskirts of the financial district. It would easily be an hour's walk back to his apartment, and about as long of a bus-ride. He didn't even have his phone.
 
 The councilor was already holding his hand out to shake, so there seemed to be no argument that this is where he should leave. He shook the hand, slid out of the car, and watched it slide off into traffic once more.
 
@@ -92,9 +92,9 @@ At least the bus was air conditioned, and it gave him time to draft his post in
 >
 > Second, I'm happy to see the amendment to move the System to the L<sub>5</sub> station has been tacked onto the bill. It's mostly a formality, at this point. Those who work with the System phys-side have already signed a deal with the launch coordinators, and the amendment is simply to recognize that this is the case from a governmental point of view. It may make talking to my friends somewhat more difficult, due to the transmission delay, but I'm sure we'll survive. When I joked to them that, in space, no one can hear their ceaseless banter, they agreed that it was probably for the best, and said that they were looking forward to moving to cooler climes.
 >
-> Last, of course, I'm pleased to see the interest that the world's governments are taking in the issue. Sure, that means that our role here on the DDR is diminished, but it is not gone. We have as much a say in the legislation as any one of them does. This is where my caution about not slacking off will pay off. We have the S-R Bloc on our side, and the various African coalitions seem to be drifting that way as well. The Western Fed seems to be cautiously on board. But we are still waiting on hearing from the middle eastern countries, Japan, and SEAPAC, which means that we will need to stay vigilant. While I suspect that Japan will side with individual rights, and the middle east will be largely apathetic, I have no idea which way SEAPAC will swing, so our vote must still be counted among them as a voice in favor of the referendum.
+> Last, of course, I'm pleased to see the interest that the world's governments are taking in the issue. Sure, that means that our role here on the DDR is diminished, but *it is not gone.* We have as much a say in the legislation as any one of them does. This is where my caution about not slacking off will pay off. We have the S-R Bloc on our side, and the various African coalitions are drifting that way as well. The Western Fed seems to be cautiously on board. But we are still waiting on hearing from the middle eastern countries, Japan, and SEAPAC, which means that we will need to stay vigilant. While I suspect that Japan will side with individual rights, and the middle east will be largely apathetic, I have no idea which way SEAPAC will swing, so our vote must still be counted among them as a voice in favor of the referendum.
 >
-> Now, instead of arguing any further points, I'd like to provide you with something lighter. I know that many enjoy the little snippets of conversation that I have with my friends sys-side, so I'm going to share a bit more of that with you. It's fun, yes, but I hope that it will continue to build empathy with them and their existence, even if I am not any good at writing anything except polemics on the 'net. As always, I will be protecting their identities, so I will go with John and Tara for their names.
+> Now, instead of arguing any further points, I'd like to provide you with something lighter. I know that many enjoy the little snippets of conversation that I have with my friends sys-side, so I'm going to share a bit more of that with you. It's fun, yes, but I hope that it will continue to build empathy with them and their existence, even if I am not any good at writing anything beyond polemics on the 'net. As always, I will be protecting their identities, so I will go with John and Tara for their names.
 >
 > When John joked about moving to the coldness of space, I, naturally, complained about the heat.
 >
@@ -106,11 +106,11 @@ At least the bus was air conditioned, and it gave him time to draft his post in
 >
 > John said, "You're covered almost entirely in black fur. You'd be warm in Antarctica."
 >
-> She responded, "Well, yes. If I were in Antarctica, however, I probably would not be covered by fur that is actually a part of my body. A fur coat might be nice, however."
+> She responded, "Well, yes. If I were actually in Antarctica, however, I would not be covered by fur that is actually a part of my body. A fur coat might be nice, however."
 >
 > I asked, "How does that work, anyway? Do you feel like a human except in a different shape?"
 >
-> Her response was a while in coming. "Yes and no. I look different, to be sure. Anyone who has seen a furry can probably imagine what that means. My av on the 'net allowed me some sensation of that, in that I was provided with a vague sense of touch on my tail, and the sensation of my ears had been moved higher up on my head to approximate the location where the ears of a skunk are located. Having a muzzle worked well enough. Here, though, the proprioception is complete in a way that an avatar could not hope to be. It made the avatar feel more like a set of clothes and a mask than it did an actual form. Here, it is my form. It made my avatar feel almost cartoonish, with the standard white stripes a bit too exact and the claws on my fingers nearly identical. Here it can be as detailed as I would like. My claws wear at different rates, the colors mingle at places where black fur turns to white fur. That is a sign of aposematism, did you know that? It is a warning to those who would attack a skunk to stay away, never mind the scent spray, which I thankfully lack."
+> Her response was a while in coming. "Yes and no. I look different, to be sure. Anyone who has seen a furry can probably imagine what that means. My av on the 'net allowed me some sensation of that, in that I was provided with a vague sense of touch on my tail, and the sensation of my ears had been moved higher up on my head to approximate the location where the ears of [my species] are located. Having a muzzle worked well enough. Here, though, the proprioception is complete in a way that an avatar could not hope to be. It made the avatar feel more like a set of clothes and a mask than it did an actual form. Here, it is my form. It made my avatar feel almost cartoonish, with the standard fur patterns a bit too exact and the claws on my fingers nearly identical. Here it can be --- must be as detailed as I would like. My claws wear at different rates, the colors mingle organically. That is a sign of aposematism, did you know that? It is a warning to those who would attack to stay away. I could even smell like my species, should I choose, though I have not"
 >
 > John said, "Confirmed. She smells like flowers."
 >
@@ -136,7 +136,7 @@ At least the bus was air conditioned, and it gave him time to draft his post in
 >
 > I let them banter for a bit. The only other salient point was brought up by John, who said, "If a vote for independence does show up, make sure you vote for it. It'll make all of our lives so, so much easier."
 >
-> So, that was our conversation. I hope that this helps you understand a bit more what the lives of those who live sys-side are like. They joke around, they have strong opinions, they can look like anthropomorphic skunks if they want. Who cares if they're human? Who cares if their bodies have died? They're just as real as any of us, and they deserve all of the same rights.
+> So, that was our conversation. I hope that this helps you understand a bit more what the lives of those who live sys-side are like. They joke around, they have strong opinions, they can look like anthropomorphic animals if they want. Who cares if they're human? Who cares if their bodies have died? They're just as real as any of us, and they deserve all of the same rights.
 >
 > Vote for the granting of rights. Vote yes on *referendum 10b30188*.
 >